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You know you are a manager when...

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You know you are a manager when...

  1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
  2. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization."
  3. You refer to dating as test marketing.
  4. You can spell "paradigm."
  5. You understand your airline's fare structure.
  6. You write executive summaries on your love letters.
  7. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten page paper with six other people you don't know.
  8. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."
  9. You know every single piece of clip art in PowerPoint.
  10. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."
  11. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering," "down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people's asses."
  12. You actually believe your explanation in number 11.
  13. Your three meals a day are a morning consumption function, a noontime consumption function, and an evening consumption function.
  14. You refer to your significant other as "my co-CEO."
  15. You refer to divorce as "divestiture."
  16. Your favourite artist is the one who does the dot drawings for the Wall Street Journal.
  17. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.
  18. At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity.
  19. You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing.
  20. You give constructive feedback to your dog.
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