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bmo

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Everything posted by bmo

  1. bmo

    Not on the Weekends

    Yup - good evidence I'd say...
  2. bmo

    300% Impotent

    Wow - hope that never happens to me...
  3. bmo

    The Masterpiece

    Too funny again... Ha Ha...
  4. bmo

    Sleeping in Church

    too funny... I can picture that one...
  5. bmo

    Psychology Class

    See - even the Amish make it to college...
  6. bmo

    Wild Game

    Not funny but I think the guy was blonde..!
  7. bmo

    France Customs

    Got him good...
  8. bmo

    Risqué

    Caught...
  9. bmo

    The Husband's Snails

    I wouldn't have thought of that excuse...
  10. bmo

    Black and White

    My kids asked a lot of tough questions...
  11. bmo

    Laziest Of All

    There is always one individual worse than all the rest it seems...
  12. bmo

    Feeling 18 Again

    She got him good...
  13. Where the heck have you been? Golfers can be creative… with scorecards and BS! Wife - "Where have you been? You said you'd be done with golf by noon!" Husband - "I'm so sorry Honey... but you probably don't want to hear the reason" Wife - "I want the truth, and I want it NOW !" Husband - "Fine. We finished in under 4 hours, quick beer in the Clubhouse, I hopped in the car, and would have been here at 12 on the Button...... On the way home, I spotted a girl half our age struggling with a flat tire.I changed it in a jiffy, and next she's offering me money. Of course I refused it - then she tells me she was headed to the bar at the Sheraton - and begs me to stop so she can buy me a beer. She's such a sweetie, I said yes. Before you know it - one beer turned to three or four, and I guess we were looking pretty good to each other. Then she tells me she has a room at the Sheraton less than 50 steps from our table.She suggested we get some privacy while pulling me by the hand. Now I'm in her room....clothes are flying...... the talking stopped.... and we proceeded to have sex in every way imaginable. It must have gone on for hours, because before I know it the clock says 5:30. ...... I jumped up, threw my clothes on, ran to the car, and here I am.... There. You wanted the truth.... you got it." Wife - "Bullshit! You played 36 holes, didn't you!"
  14. bmo

    Tattoo

    My kinda lady... Woo Woo...
  15. bmo

    Thin Walls

    I don't think he married thee right person if they are "newlyweds"..??
  16. bmo

    Excuse Me

    Why can't I meet people like that..??
  17. bmo

    Football Team

    That's a oops...
  18. Shaved by a question...
  19. bmo

    Nice Legs

    Betcha he could move faster than her...
  20. bmo

    Quiet Sex life

    Time to trade her in...
  21. bmo

    Guy Collapses

    Did he have to clean the floor too...?
  22. bmo

    Pickle Factory

    I saw that coming... funny tho...
  23. bmo

    Buy me a drink

    I want to meet her...
  24. True story! A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again decided to leave a note saying, "I've had enough and left you, don't bother coming after me" and hid under the bed to see his reaction. After a short while the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom, she could see him walking towards the dresser and pick up the note. After a few minutes he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone; - "she's finally gone...yeah, I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to pick you up, put on the sexy French shit, I love you". He hung up, grabbed his keys and left. She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote; "I can see your feet. Stop being retarded, we're outta bread, throw the kettle on, back in 5 minutes”
  25. bmo

    Terrified Cabbie

    That's why I always talk to my drivers...
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