Jump to content

bmo

VIP
  • Content count

    257
  • Donations

    $50.00 
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    5

Everything posted by bmo

  1. bmo

    Bye Bye

    DNA run needed... ha ha...
  2. A lesson in the end that we can cheer about...
  3. bmo

    Push

    Love it...
  4. bmo

    Snappy Dresser

    Ooops... Don't want to picture that one...
  5. Mexican Word for the Day Mexican Word for the Day Word for the day is Wheelchair. We Only Have One Enchilada Left, But Don't Worry "Wheelchair". Mexican Word for the Day Word for the day is Mushroom. When All The Family Get In The Car, There is not "Mushroom" Left. Mexican Word for the Day Word for the day is Bishop My Wife Fell Down The Stairs, So I had To Pick The "Bishop". Mexican Word for the Day Word for the day is Budweiser. That Girl Has A Nice Body, "Budweiser" Face So Ugly? Mexican Word for the Day Word for the day is Herpes. My Friend And I Ordered Pizza. I Got My Piece And She Gotr "Herpes". Mexican Word for the Day Word for the day is Chicken. My Wife WantedMe To Go To The Store, But "Chicken" Go Herself. Mexican Word for the Day Word for the day is Cheese. Juanita Likes Me But "Cheese" Ugly. Mexican Word for the Day Word for the day is Bodywash. I Wanted To Go To The CLub Tonight, But No "Bodywash" My Kids.
  6. Sunday morning senior sex Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
  7. Profound words from Chinese Emperor "Yang Lee Zhou" All men are seduced into believing they're marrying or dating nymphomaniacs. The problem is, after a few years, the nympho leaves.... But the maniac stays.
  8. And it is his 4th..?? Arrogance at its peak...
  9. bmo

    A mental hospital

    Oops in a mental hospital... grin...
  10. bmo

    Animal Capturing Service

    Good backup Plan... Grin...
  11. I can use that one... Ha Ha...
  12. bmo

    Driver’s Seat Puzzle

    Fooled me...?
  13. bmo

    Sitting On Veranda

    That's when and how it started... woo woo..
  14. bmo

    Farmhouse

    Wonder... did he bring his shotgun with him...??
  15. bmo

    Caught speeding

    Now that is a big Ooops...
  16. Why we shoot deer in the wild: (A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this) I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home. I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope, and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back. Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!! All these events are true so help me God...An Educated Farmer
  17. bmo

    The Pastor Preach

    Cute...
  18. Interesting to see the power loaded onto each fighter...
  19. Wow - you guys are great - thank you so much...
  20. I missed this post when it was 1st posted in Dec 2017... Looking for a new link kindly please...
  21. Awe - I failed...
  22. bmo

    No Neighbours Puzzle

    There is more than one solution to this... Fun tho...
  23. bmo

    8 Challenging Brainteasers

    That was Fun...
×