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bmo

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Everything posted by bmo

  1. Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and-- lo and behold!--there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?' Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?' 'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?' 'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her? 'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'. 'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'
  2. Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and-- lo and behold!--there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?' Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?' 'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?' 'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her? 'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'. 'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'
  3. bmo

    Old Curse

    Sometimes it works that way...
  4. bmo

    Frog Noise

    And the money will soon roll in.... Ha Ha...
  5. bmo

    Sex Problems

    Laughed out loud on that one...
  6. bmo

    Norwegian Virgin

    SO Lena gets None huh... After the Honeymoon maybe..??
  7. bmo

    Fishing

    Ney Yorks are easy I guess - just like Newfies... Ha Ha...
  8. bmo

    Just Fred

    Yup - Just FRED... Ha Ha...
  9. bmo

    The Flying Lesson

    Lived up to her species... Ha Ha...
  10. bmo

    Lateral Thinking

    I agree - great Aussie answer...
  11. bmo

    Loft

    Pretty blunt for a guy who teaches for a living...
  12. bmo

    Parliament

    good decision..
  13. bmo

    The Widow

    Too funny...
  14. bmo

    Catholic Golf

    Good one for sure... funny...
  15. bmo

    Scottish Pub Quiz

    Makes sense to me... grin...
  16. bmo

    Forgiving Your Enemies

    I'll get there soon also... Ha Ha...
  17. bmo

    Blonde Phone Call

    No - it's a tool and decker joke...
  18. bmo

    What Will It Do....

    I just gotta earn enough to get me one of them.... Woo Woo...
  19. bmo

    Who Enjoys Sex More…...

    Smart woman there... But does she climax as much as Men..? DOn't think so...
  20. bmo

    Proficient With Handguns

    Part time job applicant here...
  21. Revisting the 60s Hit Titles Today Many of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers who can remember doing the "mashed potato" as if it were yesterday. They include: Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' A Flash Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker Ringo Starr --- I Get By With A Little Help From Depends The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend A Broken Hip Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now Paul Simon --- Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom Procol Harem --- A Whiter Shade Of Hair ? Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping The Temptations --- Papa's Got A Kidney Stone Abba --- Denture Queen "You haven't seen my teeth have you Wilma?" Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore Leslie Gore --- It's My Body, and I'll Cry If I Want To And Last but NOT least... Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again
  22. bmo

    Complete and Finished

    A whole lotta truth there...
  23. bmo

    Cheating Mathematics

    Boy Toys huh... Works I guess...
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