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Content Count
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Last visited
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Posts posted by bmo
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Sounds Like He got a great education by watching Mom...
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Run Mountain Man Run...
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Gotta remember that comeback... Neato...
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1. Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated withgrease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2.Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3.Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers -
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5.Variation Law -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
5.Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
6.Law of Close Encounters -
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
7.Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
8.Law of Biomechanics -
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
9. The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
10.Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
11. Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
12. Law of Logical Argument -
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
13. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it! -
oh oh...
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Cool...
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Typical Evangelical even on TV...
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Mouths of children... grin...
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Smart guy...
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As Gomer Pile Would Say - Surprise, Surprise...
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Yup - Great Job...
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Now I know More Stuff...
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What hospital did he wake up in..?
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Smart Boss...
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After years they know Stuff...
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I think he's blonde..?
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Good Answer...
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I'll bet he was a lawyer..!
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I would be too... Ha Ha...
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Well spoken...
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Were they blonde ladies...??
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Funny...
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A.A.A.D.D. - KNOW THE SYMPTOMS..!
Thank GOD there's a name for this disorder.
Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first...
But then I think,
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table,
And see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Diet Coke I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks,
But first I need to push the Diet Coke aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Diet Coke is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Diet Coke,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Diet Coke on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter ,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of
Diet Coke sitting on the counter,
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why
nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it, but
first I'll check my e-mail..
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet,
your day is coming!- 1
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I'll bet the cop was blonde too...
Bra Fitting
in The Fun & Laughs Section
Posted · Report reply
Good choice for her and more fun for him...