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Reunion My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I Kept staring at a woman swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think that a person could go on Celebrating that long!!!'

20th century greatest sportsmen at his peak Muhammad Ali vs Sonny Liston (1965). Neil Leifer iconic picture captures one of the 20th century greatest sportsmen at his peak. A 23-year-old heavyweight-boxing champion name Muhammad Ali. One minute and 44 seconds into the first round, Ali’s right fist connected with Liston’s chin and Liston went down. Leifer snapped the photo of the champion towering over his vanquished opponent and taunting him, “Get up and fight, sucker!”

Windblown Jackie Iconic photograph of the American celebrity aristocracy. 1971 Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, the beautiful young widow of the slain President who married a fabulously wealthy Greek shipping tycoon. She was a public figure with a tightly guarded private life, which made her a prime target for the photographers who followed wherever she went. Trail Onassis after he spotted her on New York City’s Upper East Side in October 1971. The driver honked his horn, and Ron Galella clicked his shutter just as Onassis turned to look in his direction.

14 Signs....You're Addicted To The Internet For people who can't live without the world wide web, the internet is a constant companion from first thing in the morning, to the last few minutes of Instagram-scrolling before sleep. Many of us are so in touch with our online presence that we've been known to check, like, respond, comment and share notifications in our sleep. That's the world we're living in, people. Here are 14 signs you're addicted to the internet: You suffer from major withdrawal symptoms...When you have to part ways with your phone. In fact, you would prefer to sit on the floor in the corner where your phone is charging…Than wait on the couch without being able to scroll through your Facebook feed. You always have at least ten tabs open on your screen…Hands up if you've just opened up another one right now? Hashtags have become such a part of your daily life….That you now say the word 'hashtag' out loud in real life conversation. You never miss an Instagram opportunity….Your carefully curated feed is always on your mind. You've lost many a good night's sleep to the internet….Because there’s no such thing as finishing YouTube. There is no end to the videos. Ever. You often re-open Instagram after what seems like an hour….To realise you’ve already seen the newest image on your feed. Because it was posted eight minutes ago. You've stopped reading this article at least once already....To check your notifications. Stop that now. You’ve been known to Google ‘How to make eggs Benedict’….Only to emerge from the internet three hours later with Mastermind-level knowledge about Pope Benedict, Olivia Pope, Taylor Swift’s cats Olivia Benson and Meredith Grey, why everyone on Grey’s Anatomy hated Katherine Heigl, what the cast of Roswell are up to now, conspiracy theories about UFO sightings in Roswell, what the cast of The X-Files are up to now, and watched the episode Sex And The City episode David Duchovny appeared in. Other people get nervous when their phone battery is at 10 per cent….You start getting stressed when it's at 54 per cent. You keep a charger by your bed, in your bag, in your car, at your desk...And if you're really honest, your biggest wish for the world is a phone or a laptop that never needs to be charged. When you walk in the door of your friend's house....You automatically connect to their WIFI. That password is already all up in your phone. And to you, that is the meaning of true friendship. You never pass a McDonald or Starbucks….Without connecting to their WIFI networks. You’ll happily go for weeks without call credit….But you start to panic half an hour after your data is gone.

Things Have Gender Too Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated. Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it and, of course, there's the hot air component. Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on. Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight can shift to the bottom. Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. Remote Control -- Female. Ha! You thought it'd be Male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

10 Rejection Lines Given by Men Rejection line given by men (and what it actually means) I think of you as a sister (You're ugly) There's a slight difference in our ages (You're ugly) I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way (You're ugly) My life is too complicated right now (You're ugly) I've got a girlfriend (You're ugly) I don't date women where I work (You're ugly) It's not you, it's me (You're ugly) I'm concentrating on my career (You're ugly) I'm celibate (You're ugly) Let's be just be Friends (You're SINFULLY ugly!)

10 Rejection Lines Given by Women Rejection line given by Women (and what it actually means) I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance") There is a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.) I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon) My life is too complicate right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing) I've got a boyfriend (who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben & Jerry's) I don't date men where I work. (Hey bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building) It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's 100% you) I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.) I'm celibate. (I've sworn off *only* the men like you.) Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with; it's that 'male perspective' thing)

"Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript. Picard: "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?" Geordi: "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology." Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen. Riker looks puzzled: "What the hell is a 'Microsoft'?" Data turns to answer: "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate." Picard: "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?" Data: "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions." Picard: "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric shape' idea." ... 15 Minutes Later... Data: "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'." Geordi: "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase." Picard: "Data scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we missed." Data: "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'. Apparently, the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards. Riker: "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F ..." Geordi, excited: "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0%!" Picard: "Data, what do your scanners show?" Data: "Apparently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity." Picard: "Let’s wait and see how long this 'Solitaire' can reduce their functionality." ... Two Hours Pass... Riker: "Geordi what's the status on the Borg?" Geordi: "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'Windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft Fun-Pack'. Picard: "How much time will that buy us?" Data: "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours." Geordi: "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector." Picard: "Identify." Data: "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo!" Over the speakers: "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY." Data: "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects." Picard: "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!" Riker: "Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits! How can they survive deep space?" Data: "I don't believe that those are human’s sir, if you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits!" Riker and Picard together horrified "Lawyers!” Geordi: "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2037 during the Great Awakening." Data: "True, but apparently some must have survived." Riker: "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with pieces of paper." Data: "I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as 'red tape' -- it often proves fatal." Riker: "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!" Picard: "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that."

The I Love You Virus Security experts and federal government authorities warn that offspring of the dangerous e-mail virus are now on the loose. As a public service, we present the following list of "I Love You" variations and how to recognise them: I Love You, But I'm Shy - Virus never actually invades your computer but collects data about it worship-fully from afar. Unrequited Love - Virus causes your computer to be so obsessed with a virus-a virus that it can never have that, it can no longer function. Love The One You're With - Virus hangs around your computer, but the whole thing is just temporary until it can find the computer that it really wants to invade. Can't We Just Be Friends - Virus makes your computer think it's interested in invading. Then, just when your computer is getting excited about the invasion, it breaks off the connection with your computer, dashing its hard drive against the rocks. One Night Stand - Virus invades your computer, turns its hard drive upside down, then disappears after promising to come back sometime. But it leaves a twenty in your online bank account. Happily Married - Virus invades only one computer and stays with it for life. Unhappily Married - Virus spends a long time negotiating with a computer, finally invades it, and then strays to other computers from time to time. I Can't Commit - Virus hangs around a computer for a long time and frequently sends messages that it intends to invade, but is really just interested in playing with your computer's data. It's Just A Physical Thing - Virus invades your computer on a regular basis, but no meaningful data is ever exchanged. I Want A Divorce - Virus sends repeated, hard-to-read messages that your computer is never turned on, then finally leaves. But it returns some time later and takes half of your computer's best data in an ugly network session. Little Virus Of The Evening - Virus will do anything to your computer--if you're willing to pay the right price. Stalker - Virus spends unnatural amounts of time monitoring your computer, collecting data your computer has thrown away and trying to record its most intimate functions. Forever Single - Virus causes your computer to focus solely on other computers that are totally incompatible with it. Deadbeat Dad - Virus invades your computer, spawns an entirely new database, then refuses to help update it as it grows. Married Too Long - Virus splits your PC into two partitions that never interface-one that does too much online shopping and one that never does anything except monitor espn.com.

Are YOU the manager… A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replied." "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say. "Tell him," she whispers: "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

Marriage and Death A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary. The husband gave his wife a gift - a tombstone, with the inscription: HERE LIES MY WIFE - COLD AS EVER. Later the furious wife bought a return present - also a tombstone - in which the inscription read : HERE LIES MY HUSBAND - STIFF AT LAST.

Dealing with Angry Wife Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's butt and say, 'Lets do it!' ....and she's always sound asleep.

A loyal dog has refused to leave its owner’s grave Dogs are known to be incredibly loyal to their owners, and this picture is a perfect example of that devotion. After his owner was killed in a landslide in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (2011). The dog stayed by his grave for days before leaving.

21 REASONS WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN RELIGION Drinking beer directly benefits the welfare of beer industry. Religion doesn't help ugly people have sex. Once you have committed your life to beer, you will never agonise over the sincerity of your commitment or the wavering of your faith. If you pray for a beer, your prayers can usually be answered with great immediacy and surety as long as you've got money. It is against the law to offer beer to little children who are not old enough to think for themselves. It's impossible to speak about beer in a blasphemous way, unless, of course, you live in Ireland. Both the Irish and the English will always agree that beer is a good thing. There have been virtually no major wars fought over beer. You don't have to read entire questionably translated voluminous esoteric tomes in order to understand beer drinking. If you are in possession of a beer, you won't be going door to door trying to force it on someone else. No one has to get crucified so that anyone who wants to drink beer can do so. If you've been taking beer way too seriously for way too long, there are organisations that can help you give up the habit. It truly is possible for beer to be on everyone's side. You'll never have to go on a mission that interrupts your athletic career if you drink beer. People won't shun you at parties if you start talking to them about beer. Don't drink and drive is your one, easy to remember commandment. If you don't want to eat bread and drink beer at the same time, you don't have to. With beer, conceptions will be anything but mysteriously immaculate. No one will kill you for not drinking beer. If you really, seriously think there's something hiding behind the moon, you're probably thinking it's a beer. You don't have to leave home bright and early Sunday morning in order to start drinking beer

The Power Of Love The Graves of a Catholic woman and her Protestant husband, Holland, 1888 This pair of gravestones of a married couple in the Netherlands was a true symbol of the power of love. The wife was Catholic and the husband was Protestant, so they weren’t allowed to be buried in the same graveyard. But, they found a way to be connected forever.

21 Reasons Why Women Are Better Than Guitars 1. Women are more fun when the power goes out 2. You cannot get your guitar wet 3. Ever try to screw a guitar? 4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4" 5. A guitar won't beg to be played 6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it 7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue 8. Guitars aren't very aggressive 9. A guitar won't play you back 10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream 11. A guitar won't scratch *your* back 12. A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk 13. A guitar doesn't care who plays it 14. You can't play two guitars at once 15. You can't fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back) 16. It's a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings. 17. Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun. 18. If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them. 19. You can't marry a rich guitar. 20. Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime. 21. Guitars don't taste very good.

21 Reasons Guitars are Better than Women 1. A guitar has a volume knob 2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one 3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to 4. You can unplug a guitar 5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more 6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset 7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested 8. You can have a guitar any colour you want and no one will care 9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg. 10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it 11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar 12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set 13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking 14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required 15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free 16. It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out. 17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed. 18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you. 19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering. 20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke. 21. A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.