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Fortnite Android likely to be exclusive to Samsung Galaxy Note 9 Samsung might be taking its marketing of the Galaxy Note 9 in a different direction than previous Notes: the company is said to be planning a huge, exclusive Fortnite push through a partnership with Epic Games. Both 9to5Google and XDA Developers are reporting that Fortnite’s Android port will launch alongside the Note 9 — perhaps even as a pre-bundled application. Samsung might have a 30-day exclusive on the hugely popular battle royale game, according to 9to5Google. Both sites say that Note 9 buyers will be rewarded with some Fortnite bonus freebies in exchange for preordering the phone, including complimentary V-Bucks, player skins, and more. And yes, apparently somehow Samsung has found a way to add S Pen functionality to the game. (The new S Pen is expected to include Bluetooth and should offer more advanced software features on the Note it’s paired to.) XDA Developers claims that Fortnite will play a key role in Samsung’s marketing of the Galaxy Note 9, which will be touted for its gaming prowess thanks to the Snapdragon 845 inside and a “vapor chamber heat pipe” that’s designed to cool the device during extended game-play sessions. Samsung began teasing the Note 9 today with advertisements promising long battery life, fast performance, and generous storage. But highlighting games would be new territory for the Note, which has traditionally been marketed as the best smartphone around for productivity. Launching Fortnite exclusively on Samsung’s newest smartphone will certainly limit Epic’s revenue on the platform — even if only for a month. The game is printing money for the publisher on every platform where it can be found and is expected to rake in over $2 billion of in-game purchases this year. But Samsung’s marketing dollars can only help the game in the long run, and you can bet fans with Android phones will be trying to sideload it as soon as it’s available on the Note 9. If the timed exclusive window is accurate, everyone else on Android can expect to play Fortnite sometime in September. n addition to exclusive play rights for Fortnite, Samsung will also allegedly offer free V-Bucks for in-game use when you pre-order the Note 9. It’s not clear on how much, but it’s likely to be in the $100 — $150 range. If you don’t care about V-Bucks, Samsung will allegedly also offer a free set of AKG headphones. You’ll likely be able to pick one or the other as a free gift during the pre-order process. With the Galaxy Note 9 launching on August 9 and the rumoured release date being August 24, it could potentially be until the end of September before Fortnite for Android gets a wide release. If you can’t see yourself waiting that long to play, you might have to start thinking about shelling out for a Galaxy Note 9.

Facebook Stock Decline Is Largest One-Day Drop in US History Facebook’s drop in stock price of nearly 20 percent marks the largest one-day stock market decline in U.S. history, at $119 billion. Facebook has had a tough few days, seeing a massive decline in its stock price which fell by as much as 23 percent in after-market trading on Wednesday. The mass stock sale saw approximately $119 billion in market value destroyed, marking the largest one-day drop in the history of the American stock market. The sudden drop in Facebook stock was a result of the announcement of second-quarter earnings which did not meet the companies predicted numbers. Although revenue had increased by approximately 42 percent, the number still fell short of analyst projections. For founder Mark Zuckerberg, the loss came to almost $16 billion, according to Forbes, which tracks billionaire wealth in real time. That dropped him from fourth to sixth on the list of richest people in the world. Similarly, the number of daily active users on the platform — an important metric for judging the success of a website or app — only grew by 22 million, the lowest growth figure since 2011. Facebook’s Chief Financial Officer warned that revenue growth would “decline by high single-digit percentages” until 2019. No company in the history of the U.S. stock market has ever lost $100 billion in market value in just one day, but two came close. In September 2000, during the original dot-com bust, Intel lost $91 billion while around the same time Microsoft lost $77 billion in a day. While it is true that Facebook’s loss of $119 billion in a day is the biggest one-day drop in U.S. stock market history, it should be noted that the large loss is partly due to Facebook’s massive valuation as a company. In previous years, companies were not valued as highly as Facebook is so their losses were smaller. By noon Thursday, Facebook's huge loss in stock market value had shrunk somewhat, to around $97 billion during regular trading hours.

Friday’s lunar eclipse, the longest one this century There’s a Blood Moon on the rise, and people around the world will be able to catch a glimpse of it on Friday July 27th, 2018, when the Moon ducks into the Earth’s shadow. However, this eclipse is only visible to those in parts of Asia, Africa, Europe, South America and Australia, so you may not get to see this one. This will be the second Blood Moon (also known as a lunar eclipse) of the year. And it’ll last a whopping one hour and 43 minutes, making it the longest one this century. But the eclipse’s impressive length also means that the Moon itself will actually look a little smaller and dimmer than usual. That’s because the Moon will be as far away as it gets from the Earth on its elliptical orbit, making the Moon appear smaller. But, the Moon also moves more slowly when it’s that far away, according to Frederick Walter, a professor of physics and astronomy at Stony Brook University. That lets it linger for longer in the Earth’s shadow and stretches out the length of the eclipse. Folks in regions like the Middle East and much of Europe will get a good view of the eclipse. They’ll see the Moon turn a rusty red — which is where lunar eclipses get their “Blood Moon” nickname. During an eclipse, sunlight has to filter through the Earth’s atmosphere before it can illuminate the Moon. “Blue light bends more than red light, so blue light actually gets scattered out,” Walter says. So the light that the atmosphere projects on the Moon is red, giving it that bloody glow. Five reasons this Friday is going to be extra special The total lunar eclipse is due to last for 1 hr 40 mins, making it the longest total lunar eclipse of this century! Experts say that dust thrown into the atmosphere by recent volcanic eruptions in Hawaii and Guatemala may likely paint the Moon an even deeper red this week. As the blood Moon is happening, Mars will appear directly below the Moon at almost its maximum brightness. The red planet will not have been this big and bright since 2003, when the distance between Mars and Earth closed to less than 56 million kilometres, so there's another thing to look out for. As if that wasn't enough, keen space watchers may also be able to spot Jupiter in the south-west. Finally, you should also be able to see the International Space Station (ISS) sailing overhead a little later in the night. Robin Scagell, vice-president of the Society for Popular Astronomy, says: "A total lunar eclipse, Mars, Jupiter and the International Space Station. What more could you want?!" What's so special about a blood Moon? A blood Moon is really quite a sight and in the past people used to get very superstitious about what it meant. Some said that it meant that Mars - the God of War - was on his way. It is still seen as a symbol of doom in some parts of the world today.

You gotta like Grandmas! The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next check-up, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medications that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills. "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills? "Yes, they help me sleep at night." "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!" She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee. "Yes, dear, I know that... But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks ... And believe me, it helps me sleep at night."

Billion-dollar Theme Park Opens In Abu Dhabi Does the UAE need another theme park? Abu Dhabi thinks it does -- and so this week opens the doors to its new billion-dollar *****W Bros. World, one of the largest indoor theme parks ever built. The new attraction features six immersive lands for visitors explore, from DC's Gotham City, the haunt of Batman, to Cartoon Junction, based around classic Looney Toons characters. The 1.65 million square foot park is located on leisure destination Yas Island, already home to giant indoor theme park Ferrari World Abu Dhabi with its ultra-fast Formula Rossa roller coaster. *****W Bros. World Abu Dhabi adds 29 rides to the island, including Batman: Knight Flight, which allows guests to experience flying in a Batwing vehicle. Everything is inside, which means visitor numbers shouldn't be affected by the desert country's extreme summer temperatures. The interior is designed to look like it's always midday. But while the venue represents the most ambitious *****W Bros. theme park franchise to date, it finds itself in a crowded travel market in the UAE. Almost 15,000 tickets for *****W Bros World Abu Dhabi have been sold ahead of opening to the public on Wednesday. The destination has seen several big budget parks open over the past decade -- including Legoland Dubai, IMG Worlds of Adventure and Motiongate Dubai -- but so far none are pulling in the visitor numbers needed to make them world beaters. Mark Gsellman, general manager of *****W Bros World Abu Dhabi, said he too is confident the "immersive and unique nature in the park" will attract visitors in the long run both from within the UAE and beyond. "I think the major appeal of our park is that, even in the hot summer, it is a nice and comfortable environment. There is no sand in your face or sun blaring on you. We cannot control the temperature but we can control lighting and sound and a lot of things that gives us the ability to make the park a theatrical presentation," he said when asked if he expects foreign visitors starting this summer. The promising sales buck the trend of other theme parks in the country that suffered substantial losses last year. Mr Gsellman said he was certain *****W Bros would be a success as visitors would be attracted to the brand, best represented by the six immersive zones that include Superman's Metropolis, Batman's Gotham City and the Flintstones' Bedrock. *****W Bros. World Abu Dhabi is an indoor amusement park in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates, owned and developed by Miral Asset Management at an expected cost of $1 billion. Address: Near Ferrari World - Yas Island - United Arab Emirates Opened: 25 July 2018 Area: 15 ha

Pittsburgh's parking lot attendants - in pictures Given Pittsburgh’s poor public transport, many commuters choose to drive. Tom M Johnson photographs the city’s parking attendants in the confines of their booths 1. Kenny: 2nd Avenue & 10th Street Bridge Tom M Johnson: “On a chilly late December afternoon as the purple sky gave way to the city lights I was struck by the isolation of a parking lot attendant sitting in his booth. Through the booth’s weathered Plexiglas I sensed his melancholy, alone with nothing other than his thoughts to keep him company.” 2. John: 8th Street & Fort Duquesne Boulevard “Like this man I am often alone and isolated. I felt a connection to him. I am drawn to the architecture of the booths because they fit nicely within my preferred format: square.” 3. Adam: Fort Pitt Boulevard & Market Street “I photograph [the booths] not as obscure structures; rather I take their portraits as I see them as animate objects with a unique character developed from years of harsh climate and from hosting multiple tenants.” 4. Ali: Boulevard of the Allies & Stanwix Street “This project is an equal study of both the booth and the attendant. Their relationship is symbiotic: the attendant needs the booth for comfort and function; the booth needs its occupant for significance.” 5. Alex: Andy Warhol Museum 6. Ron: Exchange Way & Liberty Avenue 7. Molly: First Avenue & Wood Street 8. Dave: Fifth Avenue & Miltenberger Street 9. Kenneth: Forbes Avenue & Pride Street 10. Weylin: Boulevard of the Allies & Wood Street 11. Frank: 4th Avenue & Ross Street 12. Phil and Clinton: 9th Street & Penn Avenue 13. Sue: Third Avenue & Grant Street 14. Taylor: Penn Avenue & 20th Street 15. John W: Smallman Street & 21st Street

Alcoholic wisdom I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Frank Sinatra The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. William Butler Yeats An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. Ernest Hemingway Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it. Anonymous No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as drink. G.K. Chesterton Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. Catherine Zandonella Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. Ambrose Bierce Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. Anonymous A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. W.C. Fields What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? W.C. Fields Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder. Anonymous Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Anonymous I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. Tom Waits 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Stephen Wright When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven... Brian O'Rourke You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. Frank Zappa Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Winston Churchill He was a wise man who invented beer. Plato Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Humphrey Bogart Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. David Moulton Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. Kaiser Wilhelm Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry I drink to make other people interesting. George Jean Nathan Alcohol may cause a few of the worlds' problems, but in the end, it solves them all Homer Simpson

Five secrets for Men's happiness It is important to find a woman, who works around the house, occasionally cooks and cleans, and who has a job. It is important to find a woman who makes you laugh. It is important to find a woman who is dependable and doesn't lie. It is important to find a woman who's good in bed and who loves to have sex with you. It is important that these four women never meet.

Mating Habits A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year." They walked to the second pen, which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year.” The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him." They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one." The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

Old Indian Chief An old Indian Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U. S. government officials sent to interview him. One U. S. official asked, "Chief Two Eagles, You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances, you've seen his progress, and the damages he has done." The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?" The Chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied. When white man found land, Indians were running it: No Taxes No Debt Plenty buffalo Plenty beaver Woman do all work Medicine man free Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing All night have sex Then Chief Two Eagles leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

Groucho quotes Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx was an American comedian, writer, stage, film, radio, and television star. He was known as a master of quick wit and is widely considered one of America's greatest and most gifted comedians. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'. From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself. I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception. Humour is reason gone mad. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others. One morning I shot an elephant in my panamas. How he got in my panamas, I'll never know. I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong. He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know. If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere. Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it. Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery. I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. I intend to live forever, or die trying. Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun. Whatever it is, I'm against it. Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999-follow women. Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally. Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you. Time wounds all heels. Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks. Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. The only real laughter comes from despair. Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. Room service? Send up a larger room. Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution? If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes, you realize instantly that there may be honour among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar. Before I speak, I have something important to say. I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you. A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's. Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms. No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. If I hold you any closer I'll be in back of you! Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. All people are born alike... except Republicans and Democrats. You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have!

Harvey and Gladys Goldman Harvey and Gladys Goldman are getting ready for bed. Gladys is standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking a long, hard look at herself. "You know, Harvey," she comments. "I stare into this mirror and I see an ancient creature. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs sag, my arms and legs are as flabby as popped balloons, and my behind looks like a sad, deflated version of the Hindenburg!" She turns to face her husband and says, "Dear, please tell me just one positive thing about my body so I can feel better about myself." Harvey studies Gladys critically for a moment and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight." Services for Harvey Goldman will be held Tuesday morning at 10:30.

Scientists Have Found a Quadrillion Tonnes of Diamonds Scientists Have Found a Quadrillion Tonnes of Diamonds Lurking Deep Beneath Earth’s Surface As it turns out, diamonds in the Earth are much more common than we thought. About 1,000 times more common, according to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. A new study by an interdisciplinary team of researchers used seismic technology (the same kind used to measure earthquakes) to estimate that a quadrillion tons of diamonds lie deep below the Earth's surface. That's 1,000,000,000,000,000 --- or one thousand times more than one trillion. Don't expect a massive diamond rush, though. The deposits sit some 90 to 150 miles below the Earth's surface, much deeper than current mining machinery allows. The Mir Diamond Mine in Russia, for instance, is the world's second-largest human-made hole and only goes about a third of a mile deep. How researchers crunched the numbers Seismic technology uses sound waves to make measurements, because their speeds change depending on the composition, temperature and density of the rocks and minerals they're travelling through. Deep in the earth are cratons, masses of rock shaped like upside-down mountains. They are usually cooler and less dense than surrounding rock and result in faster sound waves. But scientists observed that the waves got even faster when moving through the bottom of the cratons, known as their roots. So they put together virtual rocks, made from potential combinations of materials, and using three-dimensional models, compared the velocities of sound through the variations. Sound travels through diamond twice as fast as other rocks, so the team of researchers figured there had to be some of the material in the cratons. "Diamonds are a perfect match because they're a little bit more dense, but we don't need a lot of them," said Ulrich Faul, a researcher in MIT's Department of Earth, Atmospheric, and Planetary Sciences and a senior participant in the study. How diamonds are formed Faul said the location of the diamonds at the base of the cratons makes the most sense, as diamonds are formed via extreme pressure and extreme heat, so the weight from all the rock above provides ideal conditions for their formation deep in the Earth's mantle. The diamonds that end up in necklaces and rings come closer to Earth's surface, usually through volcanic eruptions, Faul told CNN.

Obituary Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!” "Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"

EVIL People Evil can be defined, but it's hard to pin down. Simply put: An evil person is someone who engages in malevolent behaviours. Someone that is very bad and harmful Behaviours that are the opposite or enemy of good. Some argue that they are immoral, sick, depraved, or wicked, but those words are hard to define. The truth is, you will know it when you see it. Evil people come from all sorts of places, often ones you wouldn't expect. We find them at our schools, at our churches and places of worship, in the homes of our friends; everywhere we look. These are the warning signs a person is evil. Spot these characteristics in someone and you can be sure that whatever good is left in them, they will use it against you. There is only one solution for the evil people in our lives. We have identified signs, which will help you to recognise people with evil intentions: 1. They enjoy the misfortune of others. The malevolent ways of evil people often leave them so twisted and turned around on the inside that they feel good when they see misfortunate. It might be a disaster on the news or a dramatic situation in front of them. They seem to delight in misfortune, to relish the bad feelings of other people. All the times that an evil person has been hurt in their life falls away when bad things happen to other people. The real danger here is that they could create bad situations for you and others in their life in order to be able to enjoy the misfortunate that they create. It is important to recognize who they are before terrible things happen to you and the people they love. If horrible things happening is all that can help them feel better, you can't salvage or save them. 2. They have control issues. Evil people have this in common: they're controlling. But it's not all about controlling you. They often feel downright uncomfortable and powerless if they aren't in control of every aspect of their lives. Malevolent people are often so cruel to the world and to the people around them that they can't entrust any part of their lives to another person. Because of this obsession, they can come off as polite, concise, and punctual. But when you let them get closer, they start controlling your life too, making you just like them. Defying the wishes of an evil person doesn't always result in outright evil actions back to you. It may feel subtle. Not a slap to the face but a kick to the heart. The goal of the evil person is to control the way you feel on the inside, not how you feel on the outside. 3. They are habitually dishonest. Let's be real. Everyone lies. We all do it. Some are little lies, others are big, big lies. But while everyone lies, not everyone is a liar. A liar is a real special breed. They lie pathologically, constantly, and sometimes without even realizing it. An evil liar will often lie so much that their lies are what form their reality. In living a life of lies, their own minds become prisoners to their own evil behaviours. Some evil people only lie a little bit, maybe stretching the truth to make themselves seem stronger, smarter, or better. Some evil people lie about you and others. But one thing is for sure: they are liars. The lies serve as a tool to manipulate a reality that doesn't serve them the way they'd like. When caught in a lie, they will probably try to gaslight you. Make you question reality as it is and make you continue to look to them as a source of strength when all they really are liars. 4. You feel strange around them. It's been pretty well-demonstrated that each of our bodies emit an energy field. Why that is, we're not totally clear on. It could serve as an intuitive defence system. But in the same way that if you eat bad food, it shows on your skin; if you're evil on the inside, it shows up in your energy field. This might be why evil people give you a creepy feeling without them having actually done anything evil to you at all. Who they are on the inside can be picked up in their subtle energy field by your energy field. Often times, one of the surest signs a person is evil is that you just don't feel right around them. You get creepy feelings and can't quite put your finger on it. You might sound crazy to people listening to you talk about it, but don't deny the way the evil people in our world make you feel. Trust your gut and don't worry about it steering you wrong. If you get the wrong sense about someone, apologize. But better safe than sorry. 5. They mislead you. Controlling reality is what gives an evil person most of their power. In doing so, they're able to make it conform to their petty wants and desires. This is why evil people have a tell: they mislead you into thinking one way or another about them, about the people in your life already, and about yourself. This misleading can come in many different forms, like misquoting, lying, or stretching the truth and twisting the facts. The end result is a world of their creation and a world that you have trouble understanding or believing in. This is one way to spot an evil person, especially a sly one: look for ways they mislead others. If you see it, go the other direction right away. 6. They lack remorse. Let's cover what we've talked about so far: Evil people are controlling. They're liars. They delight in misfortune. They make you feel weird on the inside. You know the worst part about it all? They aren't ever sorry for the things they do and the way they make you feel. Evil people truly have no remorse. If you press them on the fact that they're unapologetic for their malevolent behaviour, they'll deflect, push it off onto you, and gaslight you into thinking the reality you know to be true isn't actually true. In reality, all they want to do is maintain their current quality of life by controlling you, and an apology would indicate fallibility. The evil ones in our world want you to see perfection to keep you wrapped around their fingers. Admission of fault would shatter that image they've carefully cultivated. 7. They are cruel. So far, we've talked about evil people and the subtle ways they express their inner malevolent desires. Not all evil people like to be sly about it. Some choose to be outward with it. And one way they do so is through cruelty. This can come in the form of getting into fights, hurting their loved ones — their spouses, their children, their friends, or even hurting animals. Evil people are often victims of the prisons they've built for themselves, which is why they take so much joy out of misfortune and pain. It dulls the pain they each have inside of their hearts. But that doesn't mean you justify it or stick by evil people. If you're with someone who expresses themselves in such cruel ways, find ways to get away as soon as you can. One day, they may push their cruelty too far and really do some serious damage. 8. They lack responsibility. An evil person has no sort of a moral compass. They'll do as they please and will never feel responsible for the pain they have caused to others. If they sense any sort of blame coming their way, they'll start redirecting it immediately. They love to shift the blame to others and have no understanding of what an apology is. They think apologizing is for the weak. They'd much rather make you apologize for THEIR mistakes. 9. Their friends and family warn you. A lot of the time, one of the first signs that a person is truly evil is if their "friends" and family issue you warnings. They might talk about an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend who ran from them. They might casually dismiss the problems with previous relationships and make excuses for the evil person in their lives. This is a sort of manipulation, but it can also be seen as a warning sign of impending disaster. In a sense, these people are telling you that something is wrong and that it's your responsibility to do something about it. Other times, the people in their lives will outright tell you that the evil person is not healthy and that you should avoid them at all costs. In either case, don't ignore the signs of a truly evil person, especially when people who supposedly love them are tipping you off about it. 10. They are bad friends. If an evil person comes to your assistance, know that they are doing it for a purpose. In other cases, they will only be there when things are going well for you. Once things start to go sour, they're nowhere to be found. 11. They are racist, sexist, homophobic, or are bigots. Evil thrives when the good are divided. This has made some of the evilest people in the world — from Hitler to Stalin to Osama bin Laden — so wildly successful. They've taken the petty differences between people and used it to sow larger and larger rifts that end up in disaster. Often, they use bigotry, homophobia, sexism, racism, and fascism, in general, to keep good people apart, and to breed more evil people in the world. We won't mince words here: white supremacists are evil. Racists are evil. Homophobes/transphobes are evil. And bigots, while not every time, are evil quite often. Be conscious of these types of people. Some are only misled, but many are outright malevolent. 12. They manipulate. Evil people are just as capable of showing kindness as any malevolent behaviour, but what truly sets them apart is the price that comes with their kindness. Often times, evil people will be kind to you only to get something they need from you later, be it money, sex, subservience, or worse. Make it clear if they try to manipulate you based on their past kindness that kindness doesn't come with a price tag. You don't need any motivation or incentivization to do the right thing and to be kind to one another. Truly kind people are kind without the expectation of getting anything in return. 13. They belittle you. One of the worst manipulations of an evil person is the emotional manipulations. Usually, this comes in the form of being belittled. Belittling comes in a lot of different forms too. It can be playing the victim when you haven't done anything wrong. Ridiculing your appearance, your body, your interests, your hopes, your hobbies, your goals, your friends, your house, your dreams — anything really can be belittled in the eyes of an evil person. Don't let malevolent people change your opinion of yourself and the decisions you've made. Simply say, "I'm sorry you aren't happy with that part of my life, but it is important to me." And that's that. 14. They confuse and conflict. In the same way that evil people use the aforementioned tactics to split up good people, they'll utilize chaos, confusion, and conflict to their benefit. The more scattered, scared, and unsure you are, the more power they're going to have over you. You can fight back against this by being level-headed and secure in yourself, even when you don't fully understand what's going on in your life and your world. Often times, evil people are the ones who are putting all that confusion and conflict into your life in the first place. Don't fall into their trap. No matter what's happening, keep a cool demeanour. Use a level-headed approach to handling conflict and confusion in your life. 15. They lead double lives. Malevolent people will never reveal their true lives to you. Saying they lead double lives is a huge understatement. They lead hundreds of lives. They are whoever they need to be to get what they want. They are a different person to everyone. They have a well-devised history and image they are trying to portray. The only common thing about all of them is that no one truly knows who they are. 16. They Don’t Respect Your Time Inconvenience is one of their strongest suits, especially when it comes with messing up with your time. 17. Evil people are experts at fooling others with their smooth speech and flattering words. But if you look at the fruit of their lives or the follow through of their words, you will find no real evidence of godly growth or change. It’s all smoke and mirrors. 18. They don't have boundaries. Evil people are persistent, gregarious, intense, clingy, and fake. In a lot of ways, they're like boomerangs. No matter how hard you throw them out of your life, they always wind up circling back around to you. But only if you let them. You see, an evil person will try to manipulate you into opening the door and letting them back in. But there are dire consequences to doing this, and a malevolent person will gladly take off their jacket, kick off their shoes, and park themselves in front of the TV if you let them back in (so to speak). No matter how persistent, gregarious, intense, clingy, and fake an evil person is, they can always be booted from your life for good. One thing is certain: no matter what, when you kick an evil person out of your life, they'll always try to work their way back in. It's inevitable, but it can be prevented. They will use every tool at their disposal to force you to let them stay. They will try to manipulate you. They will lie to you. They will only pretend to be nice to you. They will attack and belittle you and your friends. They will try to mislead and control you. But one thing is for sure" when you've made the call to give them the boot from your space, your circle, and your life, you can never go back on it. They'll try to get you to change your mind, but the only way to liberate yourself from them is to leave them behind. An evil person can change, but they can only do it on their own. And you can't force them to change. They can only change when their hearts are open, they're ready to atone for what they've done, and they're ready to work hard at reforming their malevolent ways.

A victim of scam I was the victim of the latest scam now occurring in shopping mall parking lots. Two good-looking young women come to your car as you are parking. One starts wiping your windshield with a rag and the other comes to your window and bends over so far her breasts just about fall out of her blouse. While you're distracted, the other one lets herself in the back seat and then they both start begging you for a ride home. Be very wary, because as soon as you start driving, one of them will take off her shirt and the other climbs over the seat and unzips your pants. This is when they steal your wallet. I was robbed last Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday; But couldn't find them on Saturday or Sunday. You've been warned!!

29 Tee Shirt Slogans At My Age, Getting Lucky Is Finding My Car in the Parking Lot. Remember When Sex Was Safe and Skydiving Was Dangerous? (On the front) Randolph-Macon Woman's College (On the back) Not a Girls' School with No Men, but a Women's College with No Boys. (On a motorcycle rider's t-shirt - back) If you can read this, then the bitch fell off My IQ came back negative :-) We Got Rid of the Kids -- The Cat Was Allergic. Don't Worry, Mom -- It's Just a Phase. Kids: You Spend the First Two Years of Their Lives Teaching Them to Walk and Talk -- and the Next 19 Telling Them to Sit Down and Shut Up. (On the front) 60 Is Not Old . . . (On the back) If You're a Tree. I'm Still Hot -- It Just Comes in Flashes. I'm Not 50 -- I'm $49.95 Plus Tax. I Know I Came Into This Room for a Reason. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up! I Used to Have a Handle on Life, But It Broke. My Reality Check Just Bounced. Cancel My Subscription -- I Don't Need Your Issues. Dangerously Under Medicated. Madness Takes Its Toll -- Please Have Exact Change. Every Time I Hear the Dirty Word 'Exercise,' I Wash My Mouth Out With Chocolate. Earth Is the Insane Asylum for the Universe. Life Is Short -- Make Fun of It. Buckle Up. It Makes It Harder for the Aliens to Snatch You From Your Car. Hang Up and Drive. I Took the Road Less Travelled, and Now Where the Heck Am I? Welcome to Mississippi -- Set Your Watch Back 30 Years. Use Vowels Every Day or You'll Get Consonated. Don't Hate Yourself in the Morning -- Sleep Till Noon. I'm Not a Snob. I'm Just Better Than You Are. Live Your Life So That When You Die, the Minister Will Not Have to Tell Any Lies at Your Funeral.

My wife left me... and I don't understand After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses - I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends. Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day when she came home from grocery shopping, the receipt included $45 for make-up. I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!" She said, "I buy that make-up for you, so I can look pretty for you." I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!" I don't think she'll be back.

Canada Pension Office Having reached the age of 62, I went to apply for Canada Pension last week. After waiting in line for a very long time, I finally got to the counter. The woman there asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized, to my great dismay, that I had left my wallet on the nightstand in my bedroom. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I seemed to have left my wallet at home. "I'll have to go get it and come back later," I said. At that point, she said to me, "Unbutton your shirt." I was confused, but I opened my shirt, revealing lots of curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and, with that, she promptly processed my application. When I got home, I couldn't wait to tell my wife about my experience at the Canada Pension Office. She listened to my whole story and then said, "You should have dropped your pants, and you might have gotten disability, too."