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uk666

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Everything posted by uk666

  1. Jogging In The Park Puzzle Starting from the red dot a jogger ran through all the avenues of the park once without passing twice on the same track. Hint: Solution: The solution seems trivial, however only 20% of people may find the correct answer. Did you solve the puzzle? Was it easy? Tell us in the section below!
  2. Farmer buys a rooster A farmer decided that he needed to go into town to buy a new rooster, since his current one was getting too old, and none of the hens were laying any eggs. So, the new rooster gets brought back to the farm, and runs into the cunning old rooster. The devious old one says to the young rooster "Listen bud, the hens will only accept you after you have earning the right" "How can I earn it?" asked the young rooster, eager to learn. "You only have to beat me in a race around the chicken's coop." So, the race started, and the old rooster got an early lead. But when the crafty old rooster had almost reached the finish line, he slowed down and the young rooster started to catching up, and was only a few inches behind, when the farmer shot the young rooster dead in his tracks. "God dammit!" yelled the farmer. "That's the third gay rooster I purchase this week!"
  3. Why was the stadium cold……... because there were a lot of fans
  4. Strange & Unique Taxi Cab Designs That Rock – or Not? 1. Kawaii Taxi Cab: Tokyo, Japan This bicycle-type, 3-wheel taxi is actually very popular in certain parts of Tokyo. 2. Prague Taxi Cab: Czech Republic Even though this taxi is a bit on the strange-looking side, it has a certain look that says, “I’ll take a cab!” 3. European Taxi Cab: Latvia, Europe This Mustang has the horse power, whoever decided to set up this cab in Latvia was not at all worried about the gas mileage. The owner of this taxi probably has a waiting list of customers just itching for a ride. 4. Solar Powered Taxi This solar-powered taxi design is a little ridiculous. You can hear it now. Drunk guy in the bar says, “I’m not riding in that!” 5. Rocking Russian Taxi: Moscow This Russian taxi is a thing of beauty. With its polished sleek design, it is sure to turn heads when it drives by. The black on orange stands out perfectly, it’s a definite attention grabber. 6. Little Coco Cabs, Cuba The Coco taxis are extremely popular in Cuba for passengers needing short rides to get something to eat, for bar hopping, or for anything simple, short trips. 7. Volkswagen Taxi Cab: London London cabs have been using the Volkswagen model for decades, so there really is nothing new to see here. But these taxis have always been different than those seen in other areas of the world, which makes them very unique. 8. Taxi Cab In Rural Nicaragua These golf-cart style taxis are used all over rural Nicaragua, the drivers can earn a decent living with them. For the cost of about U.S. $1.50, a person can travel 5 miles through the back country. 9. Houston, TX Humvee Taxi Call it a Hummer, or a Humvee; either way, it is a taxi. The Yellow Cab Company in Houston spent a fortune on this jewel, and it costs a small fortune to ride in it too. 10. Atlanta, Porsche 911 Taxi We save the best for last. The yellow 911 taxi cab; It's bold and beautiful, and most of all, it rocks. But it costs a fortune to ride.
  5. Are we really that stupid? In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestions: Defrost. Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. On a Swedish chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. On a toboggan: Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions. On a knife sharpener: Caution: knives are sharp. On shin pads for cyclists: Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. On a take away coffee cup: Caution: Hot beverages are hot. Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp: In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly. In a microwave oven manual: Do not use for drying pets. On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft: Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing. On the bottom of a cola bottle: Do not open here. On a Harry Potter wizards broom: This broom does not actually fly. On a box of aspirin: Do not take if allergic to aspirin. On a bottle of laundry detergent: Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine. On a muffin packet: Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. In a kettle instruction manual: The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position. On a ketchup bottle: Instructions: Put on food. On a bottle of rum: Open bottle before drinking. A car park sign: Entrance only. Do not enter. A sign in a street in Hong Kong: Beware of people. Rules on a tram in Prague: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted. Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA: Take care: new non-slip surface. On a can of air freshener: For use by trained personnel only. On a bottle of baby lotion: Keep away from children. On a pair of socks bought in Egypt: Do not wash. On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle: Some assembly required. On a can of pepper spray used for self-defence: May irritate eyes. On a Frisbee: Warning: may contain small parts. In a car handbook: In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors. On a packet of cashew nut pieces: Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts. Directions for mosquito repellent: Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one. On a birthday card for a one year old: Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less. In a hotel bedroom: Please do not turn on TV except when in use. In a lift in a Japanese hotel: Push this button in case anything happens. On a toilet cleaning brush: Do not use orally. On a can of Spray paint: Do not spray in your face. On a TV remote: Not Dishwasher safe. On a blowtorch: Not used for drying hair. On a washing machine inn a launderette: No small children. On a bottle of hair dye: Do not use as Ice Cream topping. On a push along lawn mower: Not to be used as a hedge trimmer. On a box of fireworks: Do not put in mouth. On the packaging for a wrist watch: Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants. In a dishwasher manual: Do not allow children to play in dishwasher. On a toaster: Do not use underwater. On a mattress: Do not attempt to swallow.
  6. Atari VCS throwback console attracts $2m in pre-orders It's the latest attempt to cash in on gamers' nostalgia - a throwback console that promises "100+" classic games built in, with new online play. Pre-orders for the Atari VCS went into overdrive on Wednesday, with a campaign on crowdfunding site Indiegogo raising more than $2m (£1.5m). That's well in excess of the $100,000 the company was aiming for, and a remarkable endorsement of the long-lasting appeal of the Atari brand. So, what do I get? Powered by an AMD Bristol Ridge processor and Radeon R7 graphics alongside 4GB of RAM and 32GB of storage, the machine will be able to push 4K HDR graphics at 60 frames per second to play “the latest modern and indie PC titles” from a variety of developers. With Internet connectivity, it’ll also serve as a streaming set-top box for the living room and a web browser. The design and branding are reminiscent of the Atari 2600, the 1977 console credited with popularising the use of game cartridges. Originally named the Atari VCS before a rebranding in 1982, the console was a sizeable mainstream success, and came to be seen as a mainstay of the video gaming industry at large. There are two Atari VCS models now available for per-order, with the standard Onyx version taking orders at $199, and a classier Day One Collector’s Edition (with a genuine wood front) coming in at $299. Both are marked as on sale for a limited time only. They should be compatible with a wide range of peripherals and controllers, though anyone placing an order should receive a “re-imagined Classic Joystick” alongside a more contemporary “Modern Controller”, Atari says in a press release. The console also differs from modern rivals by running on a custom Linux operating system, which apparently will allow users to add and customise their own software in some regard. 'Weakness for nostalgia' The Atari VCS is a more ambitious effort, promising not only retro gaming but new titles and other entertainment features. According to a promotional video, the console will also offer a voice assistant. But its primary selling point will be the chance to play some of the games that paved the way to the multi-billion dollar games industry we know today. "Despite the stereotype, gamers aren't all kids playing Fortnite instead of doing their homework," said Rachel Weber, senior editor at GamesRadar+. "They're adults with serious disposable income and a weakness for nostalgia. Nintendo already proved there's a demand for an easy way to play older games with the NES and SNES Classic Editions, so it's no surprise that Atari wants to cash in too." The console made a brief appearance at this year's Games Developers Conference - but attendees were only able to look at the console, not play it. But thousands of backers have decided to put trust in the team to hit their target of shipping the product by May 2019.
  7. Marriage Gone Wrong A couple whose marriage was going on the rocks, sought the advice of a experienced marriage counsellor. The counsellor pleaded with them to patch up their quarrel, but they were adamant. So, said the counsellor, you know the consequences and you still want to part, but remember you must divide all your property equally. The wife flared up. "You mean the $4,000 I have saved up; I must give him half? But it’s my money?" "Yes," said the counsellor. "He gets $2,000. You get to keep $2,000." "What about my furniture? I paid for that." said the wife "Same thing," answered the counsellor. "Your husband gets the bedroom and the living room; you get the dining room and the kitchen." There was a challenging gleam in the wife's eye and she said "What about our three children?" That stumped the counsellor. Shrewdly he assayed the situation, then he came up with a Solomonic answer. "Go back and live together until your fourth child is born. Then you take two children and your husband takes two." The wife shook her head. "No. If I depended on him, I wouldn't have the three that 1 already got."
  8. An Alphabet for People with Disabilities or Illnesses A: Accepting help (yes, even you!). B: Be your own best friend or at least treat yourself as you would treat a friend or beloved pet. C: Cookies, comfort food, chocolate! D: Distract yourself when thoughts get grim. E: Escape, either literally or with a good book, movie or the Internet. F: Talk to a Friend or family member. G: Use gadgets; your local ADRC and/or Centre for Independent Living has adapted ones you can try. H: H-E-L-L-O, just speak at your usual pace and volume, and make sure the person you’re talking to can see your mouth (in case they rely on lip reading). I: Interrupt negative thinking and substitute “I’m doing as well as I can” thoughts. J: Find Joy in the little things of life. K: Keep it simple, stupid (as the expression says) or “short” if giving a sermon or talk. L: Let go of thoughts about what you used to be able to do… M: Meditate or pray. N: Never assume that someone with a disability is any less intelligent or mature than you are. O: Offer thanks at the end of the day. P: Throw yourself a Pity Party or give yourself a Pep Talk—you know which one you need. Q: Find a quiet place and use as needed. R: Read memoirs that are realistic and/or Research new info about your disability or illness. S: Find Support groups online or in person. T: Take a nap or a break. U: Be useful every day or do something useful even if it’s just making your bed. V: Volunteer—We all have unique contributions to make. W: Work on your wellness—mind, body, spirit. Design your own program, not what others think you should do. X: Be an example and look for people who are examples you can copy something from. Y: Yodel, yowl, sing or whistle. Z: Do Zumba or laugh yourself silly thinking about how would you look if you were you doing the Zumba (dance exercise) Treat someone with a disability just like you’d want to be treated yourself – be polite, respectful, and interested.
  9. Facebook takes data from my phone – but I don't have an account!' Users finds mobile apps can't be cut or quieted Anyone who uses the Facebook phone app knows what a toll it can take both on your mobile data and free time to be plugged into the social network through your device. But what happens if you don't even have an account, you can't remove the app, and the social network won't leave you alone? That's a problem facing folks around the world. One Register reader told us this week the Facebook apps on his Sprint LG handset are transmitting mysterious information in the background back to Facebook's servers, even though he doesn't have an account with the social network, isn't therefore logged in, and has repeatedly tried to turn off background data. And the software cannot be removed without, presumably, unlocking or rooting the device. "Since these are system apps, they can't be uninstalled. I can't even disable many of them," our reader, who wished to remain anonymous, said. "When I uninstall updates on these apps and disable their access to use data in the background, within minutes they have all somehow turned their ability to use background data back on and have reinstalled all the updates that I manually uninstalled." This comes as Facebook is given as a default application on phones, and as a result user cannot actually remove the app. That’s right, if you have a phone that came with Facebook pre-installed, you’re stuck with it – the only way to actually remove the app is through an arduous process. This process involves downloading software on your computer, putting this on a USB and completing an additional 13 steps, involving the input of various commands into the phone. theregister
  10. The oldster’s alphabet A’s for arthritis; B’s the bad back, C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac. D is for dental decay and decline; E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line. F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas, which I’d rather not mention. H is high blood pressure--I’d rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend. K is for knees that crack when they bend. L for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget! What comes next? N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, the bones that don’t grow! P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new. Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R for reflux, one meal turns to two. S for sleepless nights, counting my fears. T for tinnitus; there’s bells in my ears. U is for urinary; big troubles with flow; V is for vertigo, that’s “dizzy” you know. W is for worry, NOW what’s going round? X is for X-ray, and what might be found. Y is another year I’m left here behind, Z is for zest that I still have--in my mind. I’ve survived all the symptoms, my bodies deployed. May your troubles be less, your blessings more, and nothing but Happiness comes through your door.
  11. Another One Bites the Dust A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice “13…….13…….13………13” The man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned ’14………14………14…….14.’
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