uk666

What do ghosts eat.....Spookgetti

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer.....A brick-layer

Why can't a bike stand up by itself.....Because it's two-tired

Evolution

False. The next person is not in favour of gun control.

Elevator up

Rules Of The Air Every take-off is optional. Every landing is mandatory. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgement. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it’s not subject to repeal. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

Doomed reality shows that were axed before the first episode ever aired Since the reality boom in the noughties, viewers have been blessed with countless great – and not so great – shows that have ranged from the bizarre to the downright ridiculous. But it's worth remembering that for every show that did make it to air, there are so many others that sadly never managed to. Here are some of the most infamous cases of failed reality shows that were axed by worried TV execs at the very last minute. 1. Bill and Martha (1964) A sitcom starring veteran actor William Bendix, Bill and Martha was scheduled to air on CBS, but Bendix was in poor health and the network cancelled the show before it aired. Bendix subsequently sued the network for $2.5 million, claiming the cancellation hurt his career and that he was in excellent health. The case was soon settled out of court – and Bendix died six months later. 2. Snip (1976) A new show from the guy who created Chico and the Man and Welcome Back, Kotter seems like a slam dunk for success. But despite a full write up in TV Guide and extensive promotion from NBC, the hairdresser sitcom Snip was cancelled before ever airing. Star David Brenner believed the cancellation was related to one of the supporting characters being openly gay. 3. The Young Astronauts (1986) Talk about bad timing. This was a midseason replacement on CBS's Saturday morning schedule. A comic sci-fi adventure involving kids, pets, and robots in space, this Marvel series was going to hit the air in February 1986, timed to capitalize on the space fever sweeping America with the launch of the Challenger space shuttle, the first time a civilian would travel into space. The whole project was suggested to Marvel by the government's Young Astronaut Program, a science and aerospace advocacy organization designed to get kids excited about the space program. The show had been delayed to February because nobody at Marvel, the YAC, or CBS could agree on the tone or format of the show. But they finally got one together … and then sadly. the Challenger exploded shortly after launch on January 28, 1986. Everyone on board was killed, including civilian, a teacher named Christa McAuliffe. CBS opted not to air The Young Astronauts at all. 4. Star Trek Phase II (1978) Paramount bet big on this planned revival of Star Trek – going so far as to create an entire television network for it. 13 episodes had been written, sets and costumes had been designed, and some of the cast was in place when Paramount got cold feet and cancelled it. The first script for Phase II was recycled into Star Trek: The Motion Picture, with others being used for Star Trek: The Next Generation. 5. Liza and David (2002) The unlikely and rather short-lived showbiz couple were set to star in their own VH1 reality series in 2002. Seriously. But the show, which was even produced by the late David Gest himself, was frustratingly axed with no explanation just a month before it was due to begin. 6. When Women Rule the World (2007) US network Fox announced it was producing a show consisting of 12 women and 12 men, who were sent to a "primitive" location where the women would rule over their male counterparts. The women voted off one man per week, and the last man standing was handed a massive $250,000. However, after the network initially delayed the premiere, it then made the decision to scrap the show completely and it never saw the light of day. A British version (pictured above) did happen, though, in 2008. 7. Day One (2010) Set to air in 2010, this was supposed to be NBC's next big sci-fi mystery show, succeeding the departing Heroes. The premise: a bunch of otherwise unconnected people who live in the same apartment building all survive the apocalypse and must face post-Armageddon Earth together. But NBC had second thoughts on Day One, cutting it from an open-ended series to a finite miniseries. Then NBC had third thoughts about Day One, and decided to just cancel the series altogether and run its pilot episode as a made-for-TV movie. And then that didn't even make it to air—NBC executive Angela Bromstad said the network was a little shy after the failures of similar shows such as V and FlashForward. 8. Bridge & Tunnel (2010) https://youtu.be/QOij5O1R5Hk This failed MTV documentary reality show was set to follow the lives of a group of young 20-somethings on Staten Island, New York. The show was in production and had a scheduled air date for October 2010, but was ultimately pulled last minute for being too similar to the network's hit Jersey Shore. Apparently TV execs couldn't have twigged that before filming… 9. The Frame (2011) US network The CW announced that it was producing an eight week long Big Brother-style reality game show back in 2011. It was set to air as a mid-season replacement, but by March the following year it was revealed the series had been quietly canned. The format's originators managed to make it in Turkey, so there's that. 10. Ev and Ocho (2012) VH1 was gearing up to feature NFL wide receiver Chad Johnson ("Ocho Cinco") and his then-wife, former Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada in this new series. The broadcaster had taped 11 full episodes, but when Johnson was arrested for assaulting his wife just three weeks before the premiere, the show was put on hold indefinitely. 11. Hieroglyph (2013) https://youtu.be/frxaRXeXKKE Fox took years and tens of millions of dollars to develop this big-budget costume drama, essentially a claim for its own Game of Thrones, and then never even aired it. An elaborate drama about power struggles in ancient Egypt, Hieroglyph was created by Pacific Rim writer Travis Beacham and concerned a thief (Max Brown) who is released from prison to serve the mysterious Pharoah. It was given a 13-episode order in October 2013. Less than a year later, Fox changed its mind about debuting Hieroglyph in 2015. The show just wasn't coming together (specifically that it seemed like a cheap Game of Thrones knockoff). Its cancellation also followed the exit of Kevin Reilly, the Fox programming boss who had approved the show and its massive budget. 12. Good Grief (2014) Back in 2014, Lifetime announced plans for their debut reality series. The show would have followed the owners of Johnson Family Mortuary in Fort Worth, Texas, and the network had even begun airing teasers to get viewers revved up. but Lifetime killed it in late July when the Johnson Family Mortuary came under investigation. The owner of the building that housed the funeral home was attempting to evict the mortuary's operators for failure to pay their rent, and in doing so, authorities discovered eight bodies in a state of mummification or decomposition—in other words they weren't embalmed or being properly stored, as should be done at a funeral home. Other problems included an insect infestation and bodily fluids from the deceased pooling on the floor. In response to the news, Lifetime quietly pulled the show from its schedule and it was never spoken of again.

Pretty or Ugly Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?" Boyfriend: "You're both." Girlfriend: "What do you mean?" Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."

Cyclone hit a farmhouse A Kansas cyclone hit a farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county. The wife began to cry. "Don't be scared, Mary," her husband said. "We're not hurt." Mary continued to cry. "I'm not scared," she responded between sobs. "I'm happy 'cause this is the first time in 14 years we've been out together."

Dougie Wallace snapping London's super-rich No 2

Lessons in Logic Practice makes perfect.... But nobody's perfect.... so why practice? I was born intelligent, education ruined me. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. How come "abbreviated" is such a long word Behind every successful man, there is a woman and behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. The wise never marry and when they marry they become otherwise. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. "Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep. There should be a better way to start a day. Than waking up every morning. "Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk. "Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget, the more you forget, the less you know So...... why learn. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...... what more can I say........

Vintage photos of early car wrecks

Blue Screen of Death Delays Windows 10 Update Microsoft’s latest Windows 10 update was reportedly supposed to arrive last week, but last-minute problems have pushed the release back. According to the Verge, a “blocking bug” has pushed back the release of the update. “As Build 17133 progressed through the rings, we discovered some reliability issues we wanted to fix,” Microsoft’s Dona Sarkar wrote in a Windows blog post. “In certain cases, these reliability issues could have led to a higher percentage of (BSOD) on PCs for example.” BSOD, for the unfamiliar, is the acronym for Microsoft’s infamous “Blue Screen of Death,” a full-screen error indicative of a major system crash. It got a green update for a spell in preview builds of Windows 10 back in late 2016. This build is reportedly the final version of Windows’ next major update. It’s notable because it will add a handful of long-awaited features such as dictation, HDR support, and a cross-device syncing capability called Timeline. It also includes new Fluent interface design changes. Microsoft first revealed this design schema at its Build Conference last year. Codenamed “Redstone 4,” this latest update doesn’t have an official name yet. The “Spring Creators Update” has been tossed around, as has the “Windows 10 April 2018 Update.” The current build version (which addresses the BSOD issues) is available to Windows 10 Insiders that belong to the Fast Ring. Slow Ring and Release Preview availability will come next, but the update may not officially launch until May. This year’s Microsoft Build Conference, which should shed light on additional Windows 10 updates and features, will take place beginning May 7 in Seattle.

Zen Sarcasms 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 8. before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 9. If at first you don't succeed...... skydiving is not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 12. Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield. 13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put back in your pocket. 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 17. There are two theories to arguing with a woman - Neither one works. 18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

It may be a hardware problem try connecting a wired mouse and keyboard to the USB port at the back of PC (due to lack of SP2, Win7 has no USB3 drivers so use a USB2 port for flash install and make sure USB3 controller is disabled in BIOS setup) If it is still not working, you could try connecting the Wired mouse and keyboard to PS2 port (if PS2 port are available)

Guerrillero Heroico Guerrillero Heroico (English: Heroic Guerrilla Fighter) is an iconic photograph of Marxist revolutionary Che Guevara taken by Alberto Korda. It was captured on March 5, 1960, in Havana, Cuba, at a memorial service for victims of the La Coubre explosion. Korda was shooting a Leica M2 loaded with Plus-X film and had a 90mm Leica telephoto lens mounted on it. He managed to take just two photos of Che Guevara -- one vertical and one horizontal. The day before Alberto Korda took his iconic photograph of Cuban revolutionary Che Guevara, a ship had exploded in Havana Harbour, killing the crew and dozens of dockworkers. Covering the funeral for the newspaper Revolución, Korda focused on Fidel Castro, who in a fiery speech accused the U.S. of causing the explosion. Ironically, the newspaper didn't use the Che image, but instead chose a shot of Castro with Sartre and de Beauvoir. Years passed by and the photo languished on the wall of Korda’s studio, although he did make a few prints as gifts to friends. A couple of months before Che’s death, Italian publisher and businessman Giangiacomo Feltrinelli knocked on Korda’s door in Havana. He’d arrived in Cuba directly from Bolivia, ask for a good picture of Che. Korda pointed to his studio wall, where the picture passed over by Revolución—a newspaper which no longer existed—was still hanging. “This is my best picture of Che,” he said. Feltrinelli asked for two copies, and the next day Korda made two eight-by-ten prints. October 1967, when Guevara was killed leading a guerrilla movement in Bolivia. Demonstrations broke out around the world condemning the murder and Giangiacomo Feltrinelli printed up many thousands of Che Guevara posters and sold them to protesters. The photo was now called Guerrillero Heroico, and it next surfaced in 1968 on New York City subway billboards as a painting by artist Paul Davis advertising the February issue of the Evergreen Review magazine. In short order, Guerrillero Heroico was appropriated by artists, causes and admen around the world, appearing on everything from protest art to underwear to soft drinks. It has become the cultural shorthand for rebellion and one of the most recognizable and reproduced images of all time, with its influence long since transcending its steely-eyed subject. Because Fidel did not recognize or sign the Berne Convention for the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works, neither Korda nor the Guevara family has earned anything from the billions of reproductions of the image. Without copyright protection, anyone could use it and the more it was seen, the more it got used. Andy Warhol Che Guevara (1968) Today few people who wear Che clothes or have items with emblazoned the image really know who he was, let alone that it was Korda who took the photo. Che's revolution is history, communism is all-but-dead and, for most people today, Cuba's just another island in the Atlantic. The image has lost its connection to its moment and circumstances and now is just an image of a very dashing young man. That dashing young man has a mythic quality that is compelling. His beret links him to the common man, and his faraway look is not unlike that in depictions of the Buddha or Saintly Christ-like. As for the man who captured the iconic image, Alberto Korda died of a heart attack in 2001 while setting up an exhibition of his photographs in Paris. He is buried in Havana, Cuba.

The Babe Bows Out Babe Ruth (1895-1948), Hall-of-Fame Major League Baseball player nicknamed "the Bambino" He was the greatest ballplayer of them all, the towering Sultan of Swat. But by 1948, Babe Ruth had been out of the game for more than a decade and was struggling with terminal cancer. So when the beloved Bambino stood before a massive crowd on June 13 to help celebrate the silver anniversary of Yankee Stadium—known to all in attendance as the House That Ruth Built—and to retire his No. 3, it was clear this was a final public goodbye. Nat Fein of the New York Herald Tribune was one of dozens of photographers staked out along the first-base line. But as the sound of “Auld Lang Syne” filled the stadium, Fein “got a feeling” and walked behind Babe Ruth, where he saw the proud ballplayer leaning on a bat, his thin legs hinting at the toll the disease had wreaked on his body. From that spot, Fein captured the almost mythic role that athletes play in our lives—even at their weakest, they loom large. Two months later Babe Ruth was dead, and Fein went on to win a Pulitzer Prize for his picture. It was the first one awarded to a sports photographer, giving critical legitimacy to a form other than hard-news reportage.

Lunch atop a Skyscraper, 1932 It’s the most perilous yet playful lunch breaks ever captured: 11 men casually eating, chatting and sneaking a smoke as if they weren’t 840 feet above Manhattan with nothing but a thin beam keeping them aloft. That comfort is real; the men are among the construction workers who helped build Rockefeller Centre. But the picture, taken on the 69th floor of the flagship RCA Building (now the GE Building), was staged as part of a promotional campaign for the massive skyscraper complex. The photographer and the identities of most of the subjects remain a mystery.

Wisdom Sayings A blind person who sees is better than a seeing person who is blind. Iranian “ A crown's no cure for a headache. English “ A new broom sweeps clean but an old broom knows the corners. Virgin Islander (on friendship) “ A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience. American “ A proverb is one man's wit and all men's wisdom. Lord John Russell “ All's well that ends well. John Heywood “ Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes. Ralph Waldo Emerson “ Deal with the faults of others as gently as your own. Chinese Proverb “ Economy is the wealth of the poor and the wisdom of the rich. French (on thrift) “ Not even a fish would get into trouble if it kept its mouth shut. Korean “ Everything in moderation. unknown “ Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll eat forever. Chinese Proverb “ He that respects himself is safe from others. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow “ He who flees at the right time can fight again. Marcus Trentius Varro “ Health is better than wealth. unknown “ In bad things be slow; in good things be fast. Afghan (on time and timeliness) “ Just because something is common sense doesn't mean it's common practice. unknown “ Justice is truth in action. Benjamin Disraeli “ Life is a journey, not a destination. Cliff Nichols “ Life is what you make it. Grandma Moses “ Live and let live. Dutch Proverb “ Lost time is never found again. Ben Franklin “ Money buys everything but good sense. Yiddish (on money) “ Nothing is impossible to the willing mind. Books of the Han Dynasty “ One should speak little with others and much with oneself. Danish (on the conduct of life) “ Out of sight, out of mind. unknown “ Plan your life like you will live forever, and live your life like you will die the next day. unknown “ Proverbs are the daughters of experience. Sierra Leone “ Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted. unknown “ The errors of a wise man make your rule rather than the perfections of a fool. William Blake “ The more things change, the more they stay the same. Alphonse Karr “ The truly rich are those who enjoy what they have. Yiddish (on conscience) “ The wise do as much as they should, not as much as they can. French “ The wise understand by themselves; fools follow the reports of others. Tibetan “ What's good for the goose is good for the gander. John Ray “ When you say one thing, the clever person understands three. Chinese “ Wisdom is easy to carry but difficult to gather. Czech “ Wisdom is to live in the present, plan for the future and profit from the past. unknown “ Wonder is the beginning of wisdom, Greek Proverb “ You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. John Heywood “ You can only die once. Portuguese Proverb “ You have to take the bitter with the sweet. unknown

32 Facts About Batman Here we’re going to look at 32 facts about the world’s greatest detective. Artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger are the creators of the original character. Batman’s fame came from his comic Batman released in 1940, but he first appeared in Detective Comics #27 in 1939. Batman’s First well-known TV performance appeared in the 1966 TV show simply named Batman. This ran for an astonishing 120 episodes until it stopped in 1968. His first TV appearance was actually in 1943. Batman has been around the block – over the years, he has had an array of love interests including Julie Madison, Catwoman, Vicki Vale, and of course Batwoman. Andy Warhol directed the first-ever Batman movie -- titled Batman Dracula -- in 1964. However, it was made without the consent of DC Comics, and save for a few images, all copies of the film have been lost. In order of appearance, the actors who have played our beloved Batman are Lewis G Wilson, Robert Lowrey Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Christian Bale, Will Arnett, and the last, and in some people’s opinions worst, batman is Ben Affleck. In IGNs 2011 list; Top 100 Comic Book Heroes of All Time, Batman was only pipped to the top spot by co-star Superman. The role of Batman in the 1989 Batman blockbuster was actually offered to various other stars prior to Michael Keaton, including Pierce Brosnan – who couldn’t play the part due to his opinion of the hosiery-clad hero. In Batman Forever, the 1995 hit, Michael Keaton was actually supposed to lead, but Val Kilmer was given the opportunity when Michael simply demanded too much money. JonDoe297 is actually the online handle used by Bruce Wayne himself. The fearmongering city of Gotham actually landed its name simply from the writer randomly choosing a jeweller’s named Gotham Jewellers in a telephone directory. Frank Miller is generally credited with restoring Batman to his old gritty self with “The Dark Knight Returns.” This was a four-issue series published in 1986, where an aged Batman comes out of retirement, joined by a new Robin, to clean up the streets of a Gotham run amok. Ben Affleck is the only actor ever to wear both the Batman suit and the Superman suit in two different films, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Hollywoodland. Over the years, Batman’s main rivals have been the infamous Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, Poison Ivy, the Scarecrow, and the lesser known Mr. Freeze and Clayface. The superhero’s real name Bruce Wayne is actually a combination of Robert the Bruce and Mad Anthony Wayne – a Scottish and American Revolutionary Hero respectively. Though his no-killing stance is widely known today, Batman was originally a gun-toting vigilante who would not only shoot his enemies but throw them in vats of acid.....and hang them from Batplane. Kevin Conroy, the man who has played Batman the longest, has starred in about 31 different versions including games, animated series, and TV series. The infamous Catwoman costume from the 1992 film, which initially seemed as if it was painted on, was actually a vacuum sealed costume. The actor, Michelle Pfeiffer, said she only had a small window to act before it unsealed. Bus ads containing Catwoman promoting the Batman Returns blockbuster were actually stolen to such a degree, that security teams were dispatched to ensure they stayed in their correct locations. The Dark knight rises is the only batman movie not to feature the Bat signal. Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, and Damian Wayne all played Robin through the years. In one series of Batman comics, Bruce Wayne and Catwoman actually got betrothed and had a child, the Huntress or Helena. Annette Benning was speedily replaced with Michelle Pfeiffer after being originally billed for the part of Catwoman. She was all scheduled for the part until she became pregnant. Bruce Wayne and his sidekick were accused of having a more than friend’s relationship by psychiatrist Dr. Frederic Wertham in the 1950’s, who believed the two were romantically involved. Dick Grayson is the real name of Batman’s right hand man, Robin. He didn’t actually hit the Gotham-based comic world until Issue #38. At the Canadian University of Victoria, you can enroll onto a course designed to explore the life of Batman. The course is called “The Science of Batman.” Due to the Batmobile’s very low styling, the ears of Batman’s original outfit weren’t able to fit inside the vehicle. The masks were all remade to ensure they didn’t have the same problem, and the films continued. The Little Shop of Horrors props made it onto the set of Batman. The dental tools used in the 1986 version of the musical were actually used for the Joker’s face. Yes, it was the Joker who beat Jason Todd aka Robin with a crowbar and left him to die in an explosion, but it was the fans who voted for DC Comics to kill him. A call-in poll racked up 5,343 votes for him to die, narrowly eclipsing the 5,271 votes for him to survive. He turned Batman at the age of 25. According to Forbes, Bruce Wayne is worth $7 billion. A bill of $1,000,000 was raised to ensure real penguins could be used in the filming of Batman Returns. This was spent on cooling, food, accommodation and shipment.

World’s Fastest Quiz Passing requires ONLY 4 correct answers! 1. How long did the Hundred Years War last? 2. Which country makes Panama hats? 3. From which animal do we get cat gut? 4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5. What is a camel’s hair brush made of? 6. The Canary Islands are named after what animal? 7. What was King George VI’s first name? 8. What colour is a purple finch? 9. What country do Chinese gooseberries come from? 10. What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane? Scroll down for the answers * * * * * * * * * * * * * Answers to the quiz: