uk666

Alphabet Backwards A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer. Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Driver: “I’m guessing you think I was drunk driving.” Officer: “Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I’ll let you go.” Driver: (very quickly) “ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA.” Officer: “Wow, I couldn’t do that sober.” Driver: “Me neither.”

A women is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in...... Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. "Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!" The wife, startled at her husband's violent reaction, dashes to the fridge to get some butter. "You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!" The wife, concerned by the status of her husband's mental state,forgets about the butter and goes running to the eggs. "WE NEED BUTTER! Are you CRAZY??? Where are we going to get the butter? They're going to stick! HURRY!" The wife runs to the fridge. "CAREFUL about the eggs! CAREFUL. You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them quickly! Oh not that quickly, don't you know how to cook? Are you insane? Turn the DAMN EGGS!" At this point, the wife starts crying, since she has no idea what to do. She gasps "What is WRONG with you? I know how to cook eggs." The husband simply smiles, remarks "I just wanted to show you what it feels like while I'm driving with you in the car", and leaves.

The lab tech says to him, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible." "What do you mean?" "Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife." "That's terrible! Can we do the test over?" asked Mr. Smith. "Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won't pay for these expensive tests more than once." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "The HMO recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her."

False The next person wants to rule the world.

shooting rifle

Is he away on Pluto? If your brain is replaced with the brain of another person, will you still be you, or would you experience the consciousness of the owner of the brain?

Computing

Have you ever wondered... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Have you ever wondered... Why do you need a driver’s license to buy alcohol when you can't drink and drive? Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is not permitted there? Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world without any hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the morning? If shops are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why is it when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but if you send it by ship it's called cargo? Why is it when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? How can there be self-help *groups*? If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap? If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does she automatically lose because she can't find herself? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure? Is there another word for synonym? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food? Why do they report power outages on TV? If you lick the air, does it get wet?

Star Services

Do Duck Duckgo like a pond or open water?

Execution

true The next person toes are cold

The guy who invented auto-correct for smart phones passed away today. Restaurant in peace.

What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet? A desserter.

False The next person would like to know,are palm trees really trees?

Facility

Football Game

Sistine Chapel for an after-hours viewing of Michelangelo’s masterpieces. What is your biggest achievement, or something you are proud of?

Thousands of 'dark web' sites taken down by hackers Twenty percent of the Dark Net was taken offline last week, a hacker or group of hackers claiming to be affiliated with Anonymous has reportedly compromised a private web hosting service responsible for more than 10,000 "dark web" sites, according to security researchers. The hidden web hosting service Freedom Hosting II was said to have been hacked by unknown actors, resulting in the harvesting of all its hosted sites' files and its database - around 80 gigabytes of data. A message posted since last week on the sites hosted by the service detailed the hack and made the files available to the public. According to the message, which now replaces the homepages of the affected "dark web" sites and their host, more than half of the information obtained by hackers was "child pornography," which Freedom Hosting II claims to have a "zero tolerance policy" for. Other materials exposed by the data breach include numerous references to botnets (automated computer networks used in distributed denial of service (DDoS) attacks, send out spam and/or steal data), email addresses, usernames and password credentials from the affected sites. Some estimates from last October report that Freedom Hosting II (which replaced the now defunct Freedom Hosting) was responsible for hosting up to 20% of "dark web" sites, which are accessed through the anonymized Tor network. Despite the severity of the breach, it is unlikely that the average internet user will be affected. That is because the "dark web" refers to websites not accessible by normal browsers or indexed on traditional search engines. Instead, the "dark web" (sometimes termed "deep web") consists of various networks of private sites that exist on the same internet all users share at home and work but are accessible only through the use of special software or access configurations. The most well-known method for accessing the sites is via the Tor network, an intricate collection of servers originally created in partnership with the U.S. Naval Research Laboratory which is used to anonymize user traffic. Sites on the dark web are often used for legitimate purposes, even though they are not reachable by standard web browsers and do not show up in searches. In the past, dark web resources have been used to protect the privacy of political and social activists, avoid oppressive government regimes and allow for communication with otherwise unreachable segments of the internet. However, some dark websites are used for more nefarious purposes in a loose collection of locations sometimes called the "darknet." These sites use the same resources to hide illegal activities from law enforcement, particularly concerning black markets in weapons, malicious software, drugs and pornography. Technewsworld

One family's life in the wilderness In the US state of Alaska, the Atchley family are the only people who live anywhere along the 250-mile (400km) length of the Nowitna River. Over the past 18 years, only a handful of people have ever visited them in their remote location, 100 miles from the nearest town, Ruby. Photographer Ed Gold went to meet the Atchleys, who spend 11 months of the year in isolation. Once a year, the family do a huge grocery shop. Their cellar contains more than 1,000 cans of produce, from evaporated milk to tomato paste, alongside staples of rice, sugar and beans. As well as buying food, they live off the land, hunting black bears, wolves, rabbits, ducks and beavers, and making jam out of rosehips and lingonberries. "There was the one time I had to shoot a bear when David was gone," says Romey, 44. "Being by myself, I had to skin it, tan the hide and deal with the meat, which took a whole day." The Atchley's son, Sky, 13, is home schooled. His parents focus on skill-based learning, such as mastering maths through cooking or carpentry. David and Romey let him play video game Grand Theft Auto as part of his education. "It gives him confidence, a light-heartedness in play, to not take things seriously." Sky enjoys this unconventional education, saying, "I've never been to a real school. I got to see one once but I probably wouldn't like it. Calvin and Hobbes gave me all the big words." Although he has the constant companionship of his parents and dog, Charley, Sky is far away from his peers, "I have one friend in Fairbanks [a 75-minute plane ride from Ruby] who I look forward to seeing when we go to town once a year. "Her name is Ella but she's really a stranger as I don't see her much." The remoteness of their cabin is something the Atchleys embrace, although it did worry Romey initially. "When I first moved out here I would start thinking about things that could go wrong and get really worked up with the fears," she says. "What if somebody got appendicitis, or what if our chainsaw broke and we had no firewood? But what that's taught me is to stay in the moment." David particularly enjoys living alone with his family. "People want to know what 18 years of isolation does to you. It changes you. You have time to have more than two thoughts on any one subject. We spend months talking about just one subject because we have time to."