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Huge chalk drawings containing messages of peace and hope have appeared on the ground in Trafalgar Square in central London.

Two major US technology firms 'tricked out of $100m' A Lithuanian man has been charged with tricking two US technology firms into wiring him $100m (£80.3m) through an email phishing scam. Posing as an Asian-based manufacturer, Evaldas Rimasauskas tricked staff into transferring money into bank accounts under his control, US officials said. The companies were not named but were described as US-based multinationals, with one operating in social media. Officials called it a wake-up call for even "the most sophisticated" firms. According to the US Department of Justice, Mr Rimasauskas, 48 - who was arrested in Lithuania last week - deceived the firms from at least 2013 up until 2015. He allegedly registered a company in Latvia which bore the same name as an Asian-based computer hardware manufacturer and opened various accounts in its name at several banks. 'Fake email accounts' The DoJ said: "Thereafter, fraudulent phishing emails were sent to employees and agents of the victim companies, which regularly conducted multimillion-dollar transactions with [the Asian] company." The emails, which "purported" to be from employees and agents of the Asian firm, and were sent from fake email accounts, directed money for legitimate goods and services into Mr Rimasauskas's accounts, the DoJ said. The cash was then "wired into different bank accounts" in locations around the world - including Latvia, Cyprus, Slovakia, Lithuania, Hungary and Hong Kong. He also "forged invoices, contracts and letters" to hide his fraud from the banks he used. Officials said Mr Rimasauskas siphoned off more than $100m in total, although much of the stolen money has been recovered. Acting US Attorney Joon H Kim said: "This case should serve as a wake-up call to all companies... that they too can be victims of phishing attacks by cybercriminals. "And this arrest should serve as a warning to all cybercriminals that we will work to track them down, wherever they are, to hold them accountable." The DoJ would not comment on possible extradition arrangements and said that no trial date had been set.

Pilot reveals the truth behind air travel's biggest myths As we head into spring this weekend, many people are beginning to plan their summer beach holidays to some of the most beautiful locations around the world. Unfortunately for one in every six people though, they are afraid of flying and it is probably linked to some of the common myths that lie behind travelling on planes. Questions are often asked about what actually happens if you left your mobile phone on during take-off or whether a drunk person would actually be able to open the plane doors mid-flight, so EasyJet pilot Chris Foster has decided to answer all the vital questions that lead to fear of flying. What would happen if you accidentally left a mobile or iPad on during take off? In reality, it is nothing to be concerned about. Aircraft control systems are so sophisticated now, that they wouldn't cause any interference. The regulations date back many years to when we didn't even have things like iPads. The laws are starting to be relaxed - you can now use your devices in flight safety mode - and I think we'll see more changes over the next few years. Is it possible for someone to open the door while in the air? No absolutely not. The aircraft is pressurized and the doors are what we call 'plug doors', which prevents them from being opened until the pressure is released. Can turbulence make a plane crash? The chance of turbulence bringing down an aircraft is incredibly remote. Turbulence causes discomfort, much like driving down a road with lots of potholes does, but it's not dangerous or unsafe. An aircraft is built to withstand several times the force of turbulence you're ever likely to experience. Is it possible for a plane's engine to 'stall' mid air? A plane's engine could fail, but that's an extremely remote possibility because the amount of care and attention that goes into maintaining an engine is incredible. Most pilots are unlikely to ever experience a technical fault with their aircraft in their entire flying career, let alone an engine failure. Why do you have to put your tray table up during take off and landing? We plan for every eventuality and if we had to abandon take off for some reason - which again, is very unlikely - a tray table could cause a passenger injury if it was left open. And why do you have to have your window shutter open? If we had to evacuate the aircraft it's important that the cabin crew can make sure there are no hazards outside. Keeping the shutters open gives them that visibility. Why do the lights sometimes go out just before take off? We do that when we're taking off in darkness and it's so our eyes can quickly adjust to the outside light, should we need to abort the take off. That happening is extremely unlikely, but we need to be prepared for every eventuality and having the lights dimmed means our vision will adjust more quickly to the light outside. When the plane is starting to climb, suddenly it can sound like the engine's cut out - what's that all about? We reduce the thrust of the aircraft, because it doesn't need as much power at that point, and the nose is lowered and the shape of the wings changes, to make the aircraft more streamline for the next part of the journey - that all reduces the noise level. Some people feel their stomach drop when that happens - a bit like when you drive over the brow of a steep hill - and can find that worrying, but it's a perfectly normal thing to happen. What would happen if the pilot took ill during the flight? There are two pilots at all times, so the co-pilot would be promoted to the role of captain very quickly and this is something we practise regularly in the flight simulator. There's a false myth that co-pilots aren't as well trained as pilots, but we train to the exact same standards. It's just that generally speaking co-pilots aren't as experienced. The cabin crew are also trained in first aid, so if I were to take ill, they would firstly move me away from the controls and then begin to treat me. What happens if a plane gets struck by lightning? Aircraft are built to withstand being struck by lightning and other weather interference. But we also use tools and instruments such as weather radar to avoid bad weather, so the chance of being hit by lightning is remote. Is it safer to fly in the day or in the night? There's absolutely no difference. How close can you get to another plane without it being dangerous? Around 1,000ft is the closest, which is still a huge distance. But when you're on a plane it's deceptive - another aircraft can look much closer than it actually is. Are pilots allowed to eat and play music during the flight? During take off and landing it's a very sterile environment with no non-essential conversation. You're entirely focussed on flying the aircraft. If you're on a longer flight, perhaps down to the Canaries, it gets a bit more relaxed once you're in the air but there's still a lot of monitoring to be done and various checks, plus you've got air traffic control talking to you, so you're never sitting there with your iPod on. Sometimes the seatbelt light comes on when there doesn't seem to be a reason - why is that? It's just us being cautious - we might have been told another aircraft has experienced turbulence ahead for example. Our primary concern is everyone's safety, so if there's a risk we will put the light on, but sometimes by the time we get there the turbulence has gone. Do you ever get scared? I've been asked this many times and the answer is no - hand on heart. I've been flying since I was 16 and there's never been a single occasion where I've felt scared in the air.

Why iPhone users shouldn't say 108 to Siri Pranksters have been urging iPhone users to say 108 to Siri. Pranksters on the internet have been advising iPhone users to load up Siri and say "108", but it's wise not to do so! Rather than the usual Siri questions that get the 'intelligent assistant' on Apple iPhones, iPads and iPod Touches to sing a song or read out a poem, the latest joke actually triggers a phone call to emergency services. 108 is equivalent to 999 in India, so the voice-controlled personal assistant recognises it as an emergency call and puts you through to services in your area. Pranks are usually pretty harmless, but in this case you'd be wasting time and resources for the emergency services. Which is not so smart. Anyone caught wasting the emergency services' time could get into trouble. Others went even further and suggested you "close your eyes for five seconds". That's because Siri gives you that long to change your mind so if you can't see, you're connected before you realise. Some users are trying to stop it happening too. In England and Wales a person who uses a public electronic communications network in order to cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety, may also be issued with a fixed penalty notice for disorder of £80. So, instead of causing trouble there are plenty of fun things you can ask Siri without taking up emergency services' valuable time. Why not try: "What is zero divided by zero?" Siri answers: "Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn't make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends."

Where is your wife? A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point-he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn t home. "Well," the woman said "could I please wait for her?" "The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours. After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked." May I know where your wife is?" "She went to the cemetery," he replied. "And when is she coming?" "I don t really know," he said. "She been there eleven years now."

The cost of a heart Doctor tells a rich old man that he`s going to die if he doesn`t get a new heart soon. The old man tells the doctor to search the world for the best heart available, money is no problem. A few days later the doctor calls the old man and says he has found three hearts but they are all expensive. The old man reminds the doctor that he is filthy rich and implores him to tell him about the donors they came from. Well" the first one belonged to 22 year old marathon runner, never smoked, ate only the most healthy foods, was in peak condition when he was hit by a bus. No damage to the heart, of course. But it costs $100,000. The old man, waving off the last part about the cost, asks the doctor to tell him about the second donor. This one belonged to a 16 year old long-distance swimmer, high school kid. Lean and mean. Drowned when he hit his head on the side of the pool. That heart will set you back $150,000. Okay, said the old man, what about the third heart? Well, this one belonged to a 58 year-old man, smoked three packs of cigarettes a day, weighed over 300 pounds, never exercised, drank like a fish... this heart is going for $500,000!!! Five-hundred grand ?!?!, the old man exclaimed, why so expensive? Well, said the doctor, this heart belonged to a lawyer... so it was never used!

Please get up Once a newly married couple had a quarrel as a consequence of which, all conversation between them stopped. Unfortunately the husband was to attend his office very early the next morning. So he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me up at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning," and kept it beside his wife's pillow. His wife read it and went to sleep. He woke up very late the next morning and got very angry. He looked ferociously at his wife, but she calmly pointed towards his pillow. Under his pillow he found a piece of paper. On it was written, "Please get up, it is 6 o clock now."

SadnesS

This Cat Has No Idea Why Chicks Are Going Crazy Over Him Meet Scruffles, the fat cat who has lots admirers. And we’re not talking about the impressive number of his 42k Instagram followers, but about the chickens who line up to watch him pose. Yup, other than lying around doing nothing all day, this particular fatty likes to strike a pose or two for the audience of chickens who see him through a glass door and marvel at the spectacle. He doesn’t understand why they’re so obsessed with him, but they are. Is it his fluffy glory? Is it the shape of his body? Or maybe his diva-like personality? Maybe we’ll never know, but one thing is for sure – we’d just as soon line up to get a glimpse of this as any of those chickens.

Puppies - That Are Too Adorable To Be Real

Meet Moonpie, the miniature rescue cow who lives with 12 dogs and thinks she’s one of them Meet Moonpie, the miniature rescue cow who lives with 12 dogs and thinks she’s one of them. She was spotted at a livestock auction house by a friend of Janice Wolf, the founder of the Rocky Ridge Refuge Sanctuary. From there, she was taken to a rescue, where, as the weather was really bad and she was too small to be outside with the other cows, Moonpie stayed in Janice’s bedroom and eventually befriended her canine companions. Moonpie is particularly fond of the deaf bull terrier named Spackle with whom she’s inseparable. “My dogs have a lot of experience with various critters I rescue or otherwise end up with! A calf is just another friend to love.”

Dogs Are Enjoying Spring! Amanda Jones, have been photographing dogs for over twenty years and have published six books of dog photographs.

People who have come to pay their respects at the Trafalgar Sq vigil light candles Online donations have poured in for police officer Keith Palmer, who was killed in the terror attack in the heart of the capital. More than £600,000 has been raised in just 24 hours to help support the family of the murdered police officer who had worked for the Metropolitan Police for 15 years. Police officer Keith Palmer was killed in the London attack US tourist Staci Martin posed with PC Palmer 45 minutes before he was stabbed The photo was taken by US tourist Staci Martin as she posed with the officer 45 minutes before he was stabbed by Khalid Masood outside Parliament. "It's my first time in London and I see his hat and I'm like, 'I have to take a picture of him with his hat,'" she told ABC News. "I walked up to him and said 'do you mind if I take a picture?' He said 'no problem', he was really nice." She said she felt "obligated" to share the photo to his family which she believed must be one of the last photos of him taken alive. Ms Martin was on a visit from Florida to London when she asked to take a picture with the officer outside Parliament on Wednesday afternoon. Others who also met the police officer during visits to the capital have been paying tribute, calling him a "genuinely nice bloke". A JustGiving page set up for the family of PC Palmer has raised over £600,000. The Metropolitan Police said that as a mark of respect, the constable's shoulder number, 4157U, would be retired and not reissued to any other officer.

The Hierarchy of the Academic World DEPT. CHAIR: Leaps tall building in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Gives policy to God FULL PROF: Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water if the sea is calm Talks with God ASSOCIATE PROF: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds Is almost as powerful as a switch engine Is faster than a speeding BB Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool Talks with God if special request is approved ASSISTANT PROF: Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings Is run over by locomotive Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury Dog paddles Talks to animals GRAD STUDENT: Runs into buildings Recognizes locomotive two out of three times Is not issued ammunition Can't stay afloat with a life preserver Talks to walls UNDERGRAD: Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building Says "look at the choo-choo" Wets himself with a water pistol Plays in mud puddles Mumbles to himself DEPT. SECRETARY: Lifts buildings and walks under them Kicks locomotives off the tracks Catches speeding bullets in her teeth Freezes water with a single glance She is God

Top 100 reason why Captain Kirk was better than Captain Picard! A humorous list of reasons why we love Kirk and why his bald heir leaves us a little cold. (Don't get upset, it's all in good fun!) 1. When Data died, Picard had a funeral. When Spock died, Kirk reconstituted the body, forced it’s soul back in, and even got him laid along the way. 2. When Picard senses that Wesley is having emotional problems he sits down and talks with him about it. When Kirk sensed that Charlie X was having emotional problems he took him to the gym and threw him around on the mats until he got over it. 3. When Picard went back in time he brought back Data’s head. When Kirk went back in time he brought back a blonde. 4. Picard’s Enterprise was destroyed by a couple of Klingon chicks while he was stranded on a desert planet. Kirk’s Enterprise was destroyed when he blew up a crew of Klingons, stole their ship, and resurrected Spock from the dead. 5. Kirk has caused computers to self-destruct by out-thinking them on three separate occasions. 6. When Picard was in the Academy he got stabbed in the heart. When Kirk was in the Academy he beat the unbeatable Kobyoshi Maru scenario and bagged Carol Marcus in his spare time. 7. When Sisko met Picard he told him he hated him. When Sisko met Kirk he got his autograph. 8. Kirk does not play the flute. 9. Picard is from France. 10. When Picard has a problem he talks to Guinan about it. When Kirk has a problem he shoots it. 11. When Kirk screams it echoes across the entire planet. 12. When Kirk blew up the Enterprise, Starfleet built him another one and had it ready by the time he got home. 13. Kirk collects antique guns. Picard collects antique matrioshka nesting dolls. 14. Kirk chastises omni-powerful super beings for not being polite to women. 15. Kirk sword fights someone on a regular basis. 16. Kirk’s Enterprise did not have a day care. 17. Kirk once ordered Scotty to fire a photon torpedo on his position and then he dodged out of the way so it hit the alien he was fighting. 18. Kirk has a violently deadly disease in his blood but he doesn’t let it slow him down any. 19. When it’s time for shore leave Kirk goes rock climbing and drinks whiskey. Picard wears nut smashing banana hammock speedos and reads by the pool. 20. Picard’s name is known and respected throughout Klingon space. Kirk’s name is cursed and vilified. 21. The only Klingon serving on Kirk’s bridge would be a dead one. 22. Kirk jumps horses in his spare time. Picard owns a fish. 23. Kirk would never allow an “acting ensign” to lock out his command codes. 24. Picard quotes Shakespeare for fun. Kirk quotes Shakespeare to intimidate his enemies. 25. Kirk’s jump kick projects 650 pounds of blunt force. 26. Kirk once made a cannon that shot diamonds. 27. Kirk defies superior alien beings on an almost daily basis. 28. When the evil aliens use a stun ray on the crew, Kirk always stays conscious for a minimum of 15 seconds longer than everyone else. 29. Kirk is on a first name basis with every single admiral in Starfleet. 30. Kirk once said: “You’re the Captain’s woman, till he says you're not.” 31. When Sarek mind melded with Picard, Picard cried a lot. When Sarek mind melded with Kirk, Kirk decided to hijack the Enterprise and bring Spock back from the dead. 32. Kirk can shoulder roll at 127 miles per hour. 33. Picard’s engineer wears goofy wrap-around sunglasses. Kirk’s engineer wears a kilt and can drink you under the table. 34. If Picard’s engineer has a headache it’s because he wore his Visor for too long. If Kirk’s engineer has a headache it’s because he has a hangover. 35. Kirk looks good in sideburns. Really good. 36. Picard drinks tea. Kirk drinks Saurian Brandy straight from the bottle. 37. Kirk mocks Federation bureaucrats that he doesn’t like and then proves that their aids are Klingon spies, just to make the point. 38. Kirk once became an Indian god with the power to resurrect the dead. 39. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at chess. 40. Kirk’s love affairs extend not only across space but across time as well. 41. Kirk’s dress uniform does not actually look like a dress. 42. Kirk looks good in a ripped shirt, and he knows it. 43. Kirk repopulated the Earth’s once extinct humpbacked whale species. 44. When Picard wants the ship to go faster he calls down to engineering and asks to go faster. When Kirk wants the ship to go faster he sling-shots it around the sun. 45. When Klingons invaded Picard’s Enterprise he carefully neutralized them. When Klingons invaded Kirk’s Enterprise he had a massive sword fight with them. 46. Kirk has fought evil duplicates of himself on numerous occasions, always with screaming involved. 47. Kirk’s greatest nemesis was the genetically superior ruler of over a quarter of the Earth. Picard’s greatest nemesis likes to dress like him and occasionally cause inconvenience. 48. Kirk has punched out at least one member of over three thousand known alien races. 49. Kirk would never allow his first officer to get more tail than he does. 50. No matter what world Picard goes to, Kirk was there first and probably has an illegitimate child somewhere on the planet. 51. Everyone knows the phrase “Beam me up, Scotty!” The phrase, “Energize whenever you are ready, Mr. La Forge,” doesn’t exactly have the same notoriety. 52. Picard’s first officer is named after a bathroom code. 53. Kirk once yelled, “No blah-blah-blah! No blah-blah-blah!” and made it sound important. 54. Kirk’s hand phaser is sleek and sexy. Picard’s hand phaser looks like a Hoover dirt devil. 55. When Kirk wants to talk to the Enterprise he flips open his communicator dramatically. When Picard wants to talk to the Enterprise he has to tweak his own nipple. 56. Kirk’s youth was spent doing back breaking work on a farm in Iowa. Picard’s youth was spent squishing grapes with his toes in France. 57. Kirk fought the Greek god Apollo. And won. 58. The women on Picard’s ship wear long pants. On Kirk’s ship, miniskirts are mandatory. 59. Kirk’s middle name is Tiberius. 60. It runs in the family: Picard’s brother died trapped in a fire. Kirk’s brother died fighting swarms of alien invaders. 61. When Data hijacked the Enterprise, Picard was helpless to stop him. When Spock hijacked the Enterprise Kirk fought him to the death. 62. Kirk’s medical officer prescribes hard liquor as a cure all. 63. Kirk has heavy calluses on his right index finger from pressing the trigger on his phaser so many times. 64. When Kirk gets punched in the face he just wipes the blood off his lip and looks at it with a smirk. 65. Picard once wore formal Klingon robes for a Klingon ceremony. If Kirk ever wore Klingon robes it would be because he took them off a dead Klingon. 66. Kirk chops his own firewood. 67. Kirk once led a Mafia take over. 68. Kirk would have slept with Beverly Crusher by episode two. 69. In the episode “The Trouble With Tribbles” the tribbles bred at such a fast rate not because of instinct but because they were in the presence of Kirk. 70. When Deanna Troi talks about what she’s feeling, Picard listens carefully and thanks her for her input. Kirk would have called it “pillow talk.” 71. The emotional content level of Kirk’s speeches is an average of 782 times higher than the level of Picard’s speeches. If he’s talking about revolution, exploration or diversity, it is 1,089 times higher. 72. When Picard has an alien delegation on board he invites them to a quiet dinner. When Kirk has an alien delegation on board he gets plowed on Romulan Ale. 73. Kirk is familiar with 20th century slang. 74. The main computer on Kirk’s Enterprise once hit on him. 75. Kirk faced off against Wyatt Earp at the O.K. Corral and won. 76. Picard is a Frenchman with an English accent. 77. Kirk only requires thirty-two minutes of sleep a day. 78. Kirk eats multicolored nutrition squares because he’s too busy fighting stuff to eat a normal meal. 79. Kirk destroyed 672 uniform tunics during the Enterprise’s first five year mission. 80. 347 of those tunics were destroyed during combat with Klingons. The rest were destroyed by various women. 81. When Picard fought the Borg he got assimilated. When Kirk fought the Borg he blew up their home planet. 82. When Kirk was sent to the prison camp on Rura Penthe he hadn’t bathed or changed his clothes in days and was wearing animal carcasses for warmth but Iman still threw herself at him the moment he arrived. 83. When Abraham Lincoln appeared floating in space in front of the Enterprise, Kirk didn’t even blink. 84. Kirk can break out of any jail cell that is located anywhere in time or space within one hour. Within one half hour if Spock is with him. 85. When Kirk disguised himself as a Romulan, he stole a cloaking device and used it to escape to Federation space. When Picard disguised himself as a Romulan he ate some soup and then got captured. 86. Denny Crane. 87. 87% of all Klingon opera is about the singer’s desire to kill Kirk. 88. The other 13% of all Klingon opera is about the singer’s desire to be killed by Kirk in glorious battle. 89. Kirk once taught an emotionless female android how to love. Then he broke up with her. 90. Kirk’s evil twin womanized and swilled brandy. Picard’s evil twin liked to have his scalp massaged by Ron Perlman. 91. Even though they haven’t existed for hundreds of years, Kirk can still sort of drive a stick shift. 92. Kirk never dressed in green tights and pretended to be Robin Hood, and if he had, someone would have paid for it. 93. Even though Kirk often pauses between words, no one ever dares interrupt him. 94. Kirk went to the center of the universe, met god and wasn’t impressed. 95. When Kirk says “boldly go,” he means it. 96. "KHHHAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!" 97. Kirk blatantly disobeys one out of every five Starfleet orders just to remind them who’s really minding the store. 98. Starfleet estimates that the average Klingon has a 36% chance of being killed by Kirk at some point in their lifetime, regardless of their age, profession, location or social status. 99. Kirk once kicked a Klingon into the molten core of an exploding planet. 100. Style: Kirk did it first, he did it better and he did it wearing gold velour and Beatle-boots with a space girl on each arm. ". . . I think the producer [Rick Berman] was trying to kill the character off because it was a legacy of the old guard and this guy was head of the new guard with Patrick [stewart] and The Next Generation. So I think he was trying to kill as many antecedents, like a lion killing the cubs . . ." - William Shatner on working with Rick Berman on Star Trek: Generations "The death of Kirk in the seventh movie was so pointless and anticlimactic. Compared to the heroic death of Spock in 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan', Kirk's death was a real dud. If the decision was to kill off Kirk, much more thought could have been given to a death more in keeping with the kind of man James T. Kirk was in life. He should not have died in a simple accident." - George Takei "Sulu" [The way the death of Kirk was handled] "was flawed and the impact was not what we'd hoped for on any level." - Ronald D. Moore, co-writer of Star Trek: Generations "The mistake I made was thinking I could make it a spectacular death with what they had written." - William Shatner on regretting Kirk's death.

Going Elephant Hunting? ENGINEERS Hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching grey animals at random, and stopping when any one of them weights within plus or minus 15 percent of any previously observed elephant. ECONOMISTS Don’t hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants are paid enough, they will hunt themselves. STATISTICIANS Hunt the first animal they see N times and call it an elephant. CONSULTANTS Don’t hunt elephants, and many have never hunted anything at all, but they can be hired by the hour to advise those people who do. POLITICIANS Don’t hunt elephants, but they will share the elephant you catch with the people who voted for them. LAWYERS Don’t hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings. SOFTWARE LAWYERS Will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping. VICE PRESIDENTS OF ENGINEERING, RESEARCH, AND DEVELOPMENT Try hard to hunt elephants, but their staff are designed to prevent it. When the vice president does get to hunt elephants, the staff will try to ensure that all possible elephants are completely prehunted before the vice president sees them. If the vice president does see a nonprehunted elephant, the staff will: 1. Compliment the vice president's keen eyesight and 2. Enlarge itself to prevent any recurrence. SENIOR MANAGERS Set broad elephant-hunting policies based on the assumption that elephants are just like field mice, but with deeper voices. QUALITY ASSURANCE INSPECTORS Ignore the elephant and look for mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep. SALES PEOPLE Don’t hunt elephants but spend their time selling elephants they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the season opens. SOFTWARE SALES PEOPLE Ship the first thing they catch and write up an invoice for an elephant. HARDWARE SALES PEOPLE Catch rabbits, paint them grey, and sell them as desktop elephants.

Little things that piss people off. Take the hotel towel Pay tolls with $100 bills Practice the art of limp handshakes Tell the ending of movies Give little kids clothes for their birthdays Leave the toilet seat up Take more than 10 items to the express checkout lane Turn on your brights for oncoming traffic Finish other people's crossword puzzles Use the last square of toilet paper Tailgate the elderly Drum your fingers during other people's presentations Blow out other people's birthday candles Don't leave a message at the beep Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways Eat produce at the market; don't buy it When giving directions, leave out a turn or two Toss things out the window: tissues, cigarettes, cellophane food wrappings and those sorts of things Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons Go up the down escalator Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines Snap your gum Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave the cap off Open umbrellas in crowded hallways Announce when you're going to the bathroom Read over other people's shoulders on the bus When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower Chew other people's pencils Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces Tell teenagers how things were in your day Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation Pee in the swimming pool Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in Wear large hats during the movies Forget the pooper scooper Race the old woman for the last bus seat Cause gridlock Bring 15 things into the dressing room Draw mustaches on posters Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and cherry Twinkies on Thanksgiving Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you Touch strangers Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus Bite your dentist's finger Fart in cramped places Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads Don't stand during hymns and anthems Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa Leave pages in the copier Be "in conference" all the time Don't clean the dryer lint screen Buy it, wear it, return it Tell people they have bad breath Smell smoke often and announce it Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet Put everyone on speakerphone Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you Rain on someone's parade Make scary faces at babies Flirt with a friend's spouse Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team Pretend you're listening Shake with your left hand

Modern Attitude If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. He who hesitates is probably right. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. No one is listening until you make a mistake. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to press on it. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. Two wrongs are only the beginning. Work is accomplished by those employees who are still striving to reach their level of incompetence. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (The corollary is: You never learn to pray until your kids learn to drive!) The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. (Project Management at its best).

Why Chocolate is Better Than S*x You can GET chocolate. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. With chocolate there's no need to fake it. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. You can have chocolate at any time of the month. Good chocolate is easy to find. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle. You are never too young or too old for chocolate. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake. With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good

Elvis - Jesus Similarities: * Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39) * Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956) * Jesus is the Lord's shepherd. * Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd. * Jesus was part of the Trinity. * Elvis' first band was a trio. * Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25) * Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965) * Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members. * Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members. * Jesus was resurrected. * Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special. * Jesus said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37) * Elvis said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957) * Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights. * Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast) * Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25) * Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8) * Matthew was one of Jesus' many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew) * Neil Matthews was one of Elvis' many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute) * "[Jesus] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." * Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts. * Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land. * Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state. * Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate Conception. * Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate Conception High School. * Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God. * Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios. * Jesus was the lamb of God. * Elvis had mutton chop sideburns. * Jesus' Father is everywhere. * Elvis' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit. * Jesus was a carpenter. * Elvis' favorite high school class was wood shop. * Jesus wore a crown of thorns. * Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler. * Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters. * Elvis Presley has 12 letters. * No one knows what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stood for. * No one was really sure if Elvis' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron". * Jesus is often depicted in pictures with a halo that looks like a gold plate. * Elvis' face is often depicted on a plate with gold trim and sold through TV. * Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone." * Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Aristotle: To actualize its potential. George Bush: There was no chicken. There wasn't even a road. Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer. Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature. Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation. Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence. Salvador Dali: The Fish. Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Thomas Dequincy: Because it ran out of opium. Rene Descartes: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway. Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death. Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross? TS Eliot: Do I dare to cross the road? Epicurus: For fun. Paul Erdos: It was forced to do so by the chicken-hole principle. Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it. Basil Fawlty: Oh, don't mind that chicken. It's from Barcelona. Gerald R. Ford: It probably fell from an airplane and couldn't stop its forward momentum. Sigmund Freud: The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich. Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by. Zsa Zsa Gabor: It probably crossed to get a better look at my legs, which, thank goodness, are good, darling. Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost, the chicken would be lost. Al Gore: I don't know, but the road is a pathway for those evil cars. We destroy it, a car couldn't have run over the poor chicken. Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast. David Hume: Out of custom and habit. Lee Iacocca: It found a better car, which was on the other side of the road. John Paul Jones: It has not yet begun to cross Martin Luther King: It had a dream. James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. James Lamb: It saw me coming. Stan Laurel: I'm sorry, Ollie. It escaped when I opened the run. Rush Limbaugh: Because I am the greatest and it came over to be my dinner. Leda: Are you sure it wasn't Zeus dressed up as a chicken? He's into that kind of thing, you know. Gottfried Von Leibniz: In this best possible world, the road was made for it to cross. Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs. Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle. John Milton: To justify the ways of God to men. Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road. Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason. Thomas Paine: Out of common sense. Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on the other side of the road. Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road? John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity. Sisyphus: Was it pushing a rock, too? Socrates: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist. The Sphinx: You tell me. Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too Margaret Thatcher: There was no alternative. Dylan Thomas: To not go (sic) gentle into that good night. Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life. Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated. George Washington: Actually it crossed the Delaware with me back in 1776. But most history books don't reveal that I bunked with a birdie during the duration. Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime. William Wordsworth: To have something to recollect in tranquility. Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

The Shit List THE AFTERSHOCK SHIT This shit has an odour so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected. THE ALIEN SHIT Green. 'Nuff said. THE ANDREW SHIT Like an old friend named Andrew, this one just never quite goes away. Apparently it considers itself special. Bring a book, cuz this one is NEVER finished. THE BACK-TO-NATURE SHIT This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car. THE BATHTUB SHIT You thought you were making bubbles, but much to your surprise. THE BOMBSHELL SHIT A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities. THE BORN AGAIN SHIT After taking this load off, you feel like a new man (or woman). THE BRAIN HEMORRAHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Shit". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke. THE BUDDHIST SHIT The one that requires an hour of meditation. THE BULLSHIT The kind of shit that you get from eating lunch with your boss. THE CLAY SHIT The shit that is so big, hard and so difficult to get out of your sphincter that you have to stand up and sit down a few times to mould it into the right shape to get rid of it. THE CLEAN SHIT The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper. THE COLLEGE STUDENT THAT COMES HOME FOR THANKSGIVING SHIT The most solid shit the student has had since going to college. THE CONTEMPLATED SHIT Does a shit in the toilet make a plop when there is no one around to hear it? THE CORN SHIT Self-explanatory. THE CRACKER SHIT The shit that resembles that cracker you had a few minutes ago. THE CROWD PLEASER This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing. THE DANGER SHIT The one where you have to evacuate the country until the smell goes down. THE DEAD WEIGHT SHIT The kind where when you’re done you feel 10 pounds lighter. THE DIETICIAN'S DELIGHT SHIT Shit that both sinks and floats in your toilet, proving to anyone who cares that you had eaten a proper diet. THE DINGLEBERRY SHIT This is a living shit. After a well taken shit (often "Rabbit" shit), you flush. However the "dingleberry" never goes down. It sits at the bottom looking up at you. Often you leave before you see it. The next person usually finds another stall because they are afraid of the dingleberry, as if the dingleberry is saying, "Go away. Get the hell out of here. This is my home." THE DISOLVING SHIT The shit that came out solid but them disperses and turns the water all murky brown THE ELASTIC SHIT This shit comes out, goes into the can, then feels like its back in your ass again. THE ENERGIZER SHIT It keeps going and going and going and going. THE EXPANDO SHIT This shit feels small coming out, but blows up like a balloon as soon as it hits unpressurized space. THE EXPLOSIVE SHIT It is the kind that hits hard and comes out so fast that you think you are going to shoot off the toilet bowl through the ceiling. THE FART SUPRISE SHIT When you go in and sit on the toilet fart once and your empty. When you get up the toilet is full. THE FIRE IN THE BOWL SHIT The kind of poopie that singes the hair around your butt from the big feed of Mexican food the night before. THE FLAMING SHIT These are shits you get from drinking cheap swill. THE FLOATER SHIT Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flashings. THE FLOCK OF SEAGULLS SHIT You drank some very yeasty beer the night before, you're driving along the only stretch of freeway with no service station for the next 50 miles, you skid to a halt when you get there, drop your pants on your way in to the trap, and there's an immediate explosion, followed by the realization that there's a new mottled wall-paper on the wall behind the bowl. THE FOUNTAIN SHIT The kind that comes out so fast and furious (like a fountain sprinkler) as to cause the foul toilet water to splash up on your buttocks. Which, in turn, makes you feel unfresh the rest of the day. THE FOREST SHIT The one that only hits you when you're six miles into the woods. THE GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD SHIT The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting. THE GHOST SHIT The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl. THE GROANER SHIT A shit so huge it cannot exist without vocal assistance. THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS SHIT A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations. THE GUM-BALL SHIT This is characterized by small, pink (...Green, white or blue...) Spots that result from swallowing your gum. You always want to tell somebody about it. THE HEY LUCY, I'M HOME SHIT You flush the toilet, it all disappears, but a second later, one floats back. THE HONEYMOON'S OVER SHIT This is any shit created in the presence of another person. THE HYPNOTIC SHIT Shit where you finish, look at it, and it's so beautiful, all you can do is just stare at it in wonder and delight. THE I HAVEN'T SHIT IN A WEEK SHIT On the verge of using an eniema, you know you have to go, or else. THE I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE SHIT Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place. THE I KNOW IT'S IN THERE SOMEWHERE SHIT Kinda the same as the "It's too late now shit," except the victim can be heard screaming, "Get out here right now! I know you're in there! Stop hiding! Don't make me come in after you!" THE I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE SHIT Similar to the Lincoln Log and the Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards. THE I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY SHIT When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water. THE I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER SHIT When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning. THE IT'S TOO LATE NOW SHIT After holding it in for too long, you try and go, but nothing comes out. You know it's still in there, though... Needless to say, very frustrating (and uncomfortable). THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush. THE LIQUID PLUMBER SHIT This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Shit.) THE LIQUID SHIT That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute. THE MAGIC SHIT Possibly the most perfect poopie. It is like the "Clean" shit in that you don't have to wipe, but like the "Ghost" shit it disappears. You do feel very relieved like you have done a good job. THE MOOD ENHANCER This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again. THE MY INTESTINES ARE IN THE TOILET SHIT This shit hurts so bad coming out that it makes you feel like you have nothing inside you anymore. When you look in the toilet it looks like you’re intestines. THE NEVER ENDING SHIT The shit that keeps coming out with no end and even when you think you are finished, it is still there, hanging out of your butt. THE NOTORIUS DRINKER SHIT The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush. THE OH-SHIT SHIT Like the Wet Shit in that you wipe 50 times before you are satisfied, but like the Second Wave Shit because after you clog up your toilet you have to go again. THE OLYMPIC SHIT This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit. THE ORGASMIC SHIT It feels like all your troubles are over once you've finished this shit. It’s orgasmic, once you have finished it you jump up and down for joy. THE PEANUT SHIT Peanuts in your turds, left over from the plane. THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN SHIT An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually CAN'T shit. THE PEEK-A-BOO SHIT Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control. THE PHANTOM SHIT This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there. THE PISSING OUT OF YOUR BUTT SHIT Feels like you’re pissing out of your butt. THE POLITICALLY CORRECT SHIT Shit that isn't too long, isn't too short, floats and sinks, and doesn't smell. THE PORRIDGE SHIT The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: (a) Flush and keep going. (b) Risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless. THE POWER DUMP SHIT The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done. THE PREMEDITATED SHIT Laxative induced. Doesn't count. THE PRESSURIZED SHIT The shit that comes out so fast that you wonder what is going on. Then after it is finished coming out you let out a big fart that was behind it pushing it out. THE PUBLIC SHIT The only time you make a lot of foul noises is when there are lots of people around to hear it. THE RANGER SHIT A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper. THE RAWHIDE SHIT Shit you hold in so long that when you finally let it go, it comes out with very leathery texture. THE RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE SHIT You know, the kind that comes out looking like the elephant man...And makes you feel like you passed one (an elephant that is). THE RICHARD SIMMONS SHIT This is when you strain so hard you lose thirty pounds in the process. THE RITUAL SHIT This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper. THE RUDE SHIT This shit makes a plea for help like it is drowning. It makes a loud noise that will be heard two to three blocks down. Very embarrassing. THE SALSA SHIT Burns bad before, during, and after. THE SECOND WAVE SHIT This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more. THE SHIT THAT YOU CAN SEE WHAT YOU ATE THE LAST 24 HOURS This shit usually occurs after you have eaten too many grapes or too much fruit. It is very runny and when you look in the toilet after you are done you can see all of little food particles floating around in the toilet. THE SILLY STRING SHIT A thin shit that swirls around the bowl in one, continuous, unbroken link. Generally will leave its mark after flushing. You have the urge to call someone to come and look. THE SINKER SHIT Shit that sinks like lead to the bottom of the toilet, like rocks thrown in a pond. THE SNAKE CHARMER A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless. THE SPINAL TAP SHIT The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways. THE SPRAY PAINTER SHIT This one leaves every square inch of the bowl, under the seat, and your ass covered in shit. THE STAR WARS SHIT The one that looks like Yoda and gives you special powers. THE SUPERMAN SHIT Comes out of your ass faster than a speeding bullet. THE TURBO-CHARGER SHIT You're sitting there, minding your business, so to speak, thinking everything is normal, and suddenly there is a totally unexpected, yet full and robust passing of wind, followed by more, perfectly normal shit. This typically results in a completely soaked behind. THE UPPER CLASS SHIT This is the poopie that doesn't stink. THE WET CHEEKS SHIT Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water. THE WET SHIT You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks. THE WHAMMO SHIT The shit that went through your system like a slip-n'-slide. THE WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE? SHIT Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odours. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

A creepy facial recognition app lets users find strangers on Facebook by taking their picture The app can match photos of people on the street with their Facebook profile A facial recognition app that can identify strangers from a photograph has been created by a British entrepreneur. Facezam can identify people by matching a photo of them with their Facebook profile. All users have to do is take a picture of someone on the street and run it through the app, which will tell them who it thinks the person in the photo is. "Facezam could be the end of our anonymous societies," said Jack Kenyon, founder of Facezam. "Users will be able to identify anyone within a matter of seconds, which means privacy will no longer exist in public society." Facezam scans billions of Facebook profile images a second, which it accesses through a database for developers, until it finds a match. It claims to be able to link most photos with a profile on the social network within 10 seconds. The app, which will launch on iOS on March 21, has been tested on more than 10,000 images to date with a 70 per cent accuracy. But its launch could be delayed by Facebook, which said Facezam violates its privacy policies. "This activity violates our terms and we’re reaching out to the developer to ensure they bring their app into compliance," said Facebook. Facebook reviews apps that use its data before they go live to check they adhere to its policies. Apps that collect users' data or use automated technology to scan Facebook are forbidden from launching without permission from the social network. Facezam refuted that the app violates Facebook's terms. "We've looked into this, and are confident the app won't be violating Facebook's terms," said Kenyon. The technology could help reduce crime by making everyone identifiable, Kenyon said, adding that the public implications of the app couldn't be predicted. "There may be a mix of positives and negatives," he said. Facezam will initially launch on iOS with an Android version coming later

Biker saves suicide attempt? Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of hawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?" She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!" While he didn't want to appear 'sensitive', George also didn't want to miss this 'be-a-legend' opportunity either so he asked "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe Why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?" So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that. And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one. After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl." Its still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!