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Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman Joke An Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fighting in a far-off foreign land, and the leader of the captors said, 'We're going to line you up in front of a firing squad and shoot you all in turn. But first, you each can make a final wish.' The Englishman responds, 'I'd like to hear "God Save The Queen" just one more time to remind me of the auld country, played by the London All Boys Choir. With Morris Dancers Dancing to the tune.' The Irishman replies, 'I'd like to hear "Danny Boy" just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung in the style of Daniel O'Donnell, with Riverdance dancers skipping gaily to the tune.' The Welshman answers, 'I'd like to hear "Men Of Harlech" just one more time to remind me of the country, sung as if by the Treorchy Male Voice Choir.' The Scotsman says quickly, 'I'd like to be shot first.'

The Ten Best Walking Quotations You pick 'em up, O Lord, I'll put 'em down. - Author Unknown, "Prayer of the Tired Walker" We live in a fast-paced society. Walking slows us down. - Robert Sweetgall The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. - Jacqueline Schiff Walking isn't a lost art - one must, by some means, get to the garage. - Evan Esar People say that losing weight is no walk in the park. When I hear that I think, yeah, that's the problem. - Chris Adams I have two doctors, my left leg and my right. - G.M. Trevelyan A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world. - Paul Dudley White Walking would teach people the quality that youngsters find so hard to learn - patience. - Edward P. Weston. Don't think you're on the right road just because it's a well-beaten path. - Author unknown Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. - Albert Camus

Two Guys at a Bar A gentleman is sitting at a bar when another man sits at the stool next to him. He sees that the man orders a scotch, which is what he is drinking. After a few minutes they get to talking and as soon as they both speak it is obvious they have heavy Irish accent's. The one man says to the other, "You're from Ireland?" and the man nods. So he reply's "Meeeee toooo! Lets have a drink to Ireland" And they both drink to Ireland. The other man says "Where abouts in Ireland?" He responds "Dublin". So the other reply's again "Meeeee toooo! Lets have a drink to Dublin" And they both drink to Dublin. They are both starting to get buzzed, and once again one says to the other: "What school did ya graduate from?" "Saint Mary's" responds the man. To which the other reply's yet again "Meeee Toooo!, Lets have a drink to good ole Saint Mary's" And they drank to Saint Mary's. By this time both men are feeling the scotch, and one of the man says "This is getting pretty weird,,, What year did you gradutate?" "1972" says the other man. To which the other reply's "No shit, Meee Toooo!! Lets drink to the great year of our lord 1972" And they drank to 1972. Around this time another man walks into the bar, looks around, sees the men and asks the bartender whats going on. To which the bartender reply's "Not much, the Maloney twins are drunk again"

The Difference Between Women's Friends and Men's Friends Friendship among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship among Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

Americans Always Do Things Wrong An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, “Please, ma’am, may I sit in that seat?” The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, “You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can’t you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?” The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, “Please, lady. May I sit there? I’m very tired.” The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, “You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!” The soldier didn’t say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, “You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.” “And now, Sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”

NASA's 'Europa Clipper' mission to explore Jupiter's moon Artist concept of NASA's Europa mission spacecraft approaching its target for one of many flybys. Image credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech NASA has announced that its upcoming mission to explore the habitability of Jupiter's icy moon Europa will be officially called Europa Clipper. The mission is being planned for launch in the 2020s, arriving in the Jupiter system after a journey of several years, NASA said in a statement on Friday. Europa has long been a high priority for exploration because it holds a salty liquid water ocean beneath its icy crust. The ultimate aim of Europa Clipper is to determine if Europa is habitable, possessing all three of the ingredients necessary for life - liquid water, chemical ingredients, and energy sources sufficient to enable biology, the US space agency said. Previously, when the mission was still in the conceptual phase, it was sometimes informally called Europa Clipper, but NASA has now adopted that name as the formal title for the mission. The moniker harkens back to the clipper ships that sailed across the oceans of Earth in the 19th century. Clipper ships were streamlined, three-masted sailing vessels renowned for their grace and swiftness. These ships rapidly shuttled tea and other goods back and forth across the Atlantic Ocean and around globe. In the grand tradition of these classic ships, the Europa Clipper spacecraft would sail past Europa at a rapid cadence, as frequently as every two weeks, providing many opportunities to investigate the moon up close. The prime mission plan includes 40 to 45 flybys, during which the spacecraft would image the moon's icy surface at high resolution and investigate its composition and the structure of its interior and icy shell. "During each orbit, the spacecraft spends only a short time within the challenging radiation environment near Europa. It speeds past, gathers a huge amount of science data, then sails on out of there," said Robert Pappalardo, Europa Clipper project scientist at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California.

Google Pixel Is Facing A Serious New Problem It turns out there's an actual reason some owners of Google Pixel and Pixel XL Android handsets have been noticing microphone problems. The Google Pixel is widely considered one of the best smartphones of 2016. Google made a premium Android phone that is long lasting, has a fresh take on design and has a stunning camera. However, the Pixel is currently facing some major hardware problems as a flurry of complaints have emerged. Google has confirmed that some models of the Pixels have a faulty microphone, which prevents the phone from recording audio. Google also clarified that this is a hardware issue and cannot be fixed by software updates. Google will recall all the affected phones and replace them with brand new Pixel handsets. The Vice President of Product Management at Google, Brian Rakowski, responded to a disgruntled post in the official forums stating: “We do believe this is a hardware issue. You are correct that software updates will not fix it. We are taking additional steps to qualify refurbished phones to make sure they don't have this mic problem. It's possible that some replacement phones were not properly qualified before we understood this issue, but that's no longer the case.” Rakowski further detailed that a “hairline crack in the solder connection on the audio codec,” caused the problem. He also informed users that this problem persists in less than one percent of the total number of Pixels produced and advises all affected users to send in their Pixels for a replacement. This is not the first time where the Pixel and Pixel XL has faced issues. A lens flare was caused due to the shape of the lens on the camera where Google tried to partially fix it via a software update. Of course, these issues seem insignificant when compared to Samsung's exploding battery issue, however, this minor setback might reflect on sales if this problem is not dealt with soon.

Updating your phone apps has never been more important THIS week’s WikiLeaks release shows it’s possible to bug phones, computers, TVs and even cars, making it more important than ever to stay on top of your security. Experts have warned that CIA hacking information obtained by WikiLeaks, if released, could be used by criminals and hackers to unlock people’s devices. Professor of computer science, Steven Bellovin at Columbia University, said it would be of serious concern for ordinary internet users because the CIA hack could provide a “buffet of bugs for low-end hackers to draw upon”. Europol chief Rob Wainwright told AP the leak could fuel an increase in cybercriminal activity and Curtin University cyber security expert Mihai Lazarescu said criminal groups would be trying to access code to unlock the CIA’s “cyberweapons”. WikiLeaks was allegedly given codes that expose how US spies can remotely hack and control smartphones, computers, TVs and vehicles. WikiLeaks has not released this code, but founder Julian Assange has said he would work with tech companies to develop fixes for them. It has been revealed that the CIA allegedly developed malware to infect Apple devices, as well as Android phones. CIA also had techniques for bypassing encryption of secretive messaging apps WhatsApp, Signal, Telegram, Weibo, Confide and Clockman. WikiLeaks has published thousands of documents highlighting how the CIA code can be used, and that it cannot be controlled. “Once a single cyber ‘weapon’ is ‘loose’ it can spread around the world in seconds, to be used by rival states, cyber mafia and teenage hackers alike,” a WikiLeaks statement said. But well-known cybersecurity expert Rob Graham told news.com.au that much of the sting is removed once code is publicly known, because companies can develop patches for them. “As soon as any ‘low-end’ hackers get a hold of them, vendors will fix their software and offer patches,” he said. “As long as users keep their stuff up-to-date (including devices like their TVs) they’ll be fine.” But Associate Professor Lazarescu said these fixes would not reach everyone. “There’s no guarantee everyone will deploy the fix, or that everyone knows how to do it well,” he said. “We can’t expect everyone to do everything they’re supposed to do. Some people ignore patches or fixes.” Prof Lazarescu said this would give criminal groups a foothold to target individuals. “It depends on what you have on your mobile phone,” he said. “You may have photos but there’s other information that people store on your mobile such as passport or PIN numbers.” While WikiLeaks has said it would share the information it had with companies like Apple or Samsung so they can fix the holes in their systems, Prof Lazarescu said those leaking the information were “completely irresponsible” and should be punished. The revelations mean fixes will be developed to patch security flaws, but Mr Graham said he didn’t think WikiLeaks had necessarily done the public a favour. “No, I don’t think WikiLeaks has done the American public a favour,” he said. But those outside the US could be welcoming the hack as the CIA’s operations target foreign individuals as it is illegal for the agency to spy on US citizens. “I’m pretty sure the rest of the world outside the US, being potentially spied upon by the CIA, would consider this a favour,” Mr Graham said.

Radioactive wild boars roaming towns deserted after the Fukushima nuclear disaster A wild boar walks on a street at a residential area in an evacuation zone near Tokyo Electric Power Co's tsunami-crippled nuclear power plant A wild boar is seen in a booby trap near a residential area in an evacuation zone near the tsunami-crippled Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant It's been nearly six years since a tsunami smashed into Fukushima, resulting in a "nuclear accident." Residents could not longer live there without great risk of radiation poisoning. Officials set up a perimeter for miles around the reactors, known as an exclusion zone. Now, former residents of four towns inside that zone are being invited back, but officials have found these towns have new inhabitants. Packs of wild boar have taken up residence where people no longer live. They inhabit abandoned homes and cross vacant streets. They plunder nearby crops, and have caused around $854,000 in damage to agriculture in Fukushima. Officials have tried to get rid of the newcomers as they ready the towns for re-population, and at first there seemed to be a ready-made way to make that happen. Boar meat is a sought-after meal in northern Japan, and here is a huge supply. But these boars have been found to have levels of the radioactive element cesium-137 that are 300 times the safe limit for consumption. Unable to ship the boars off to market, Japanese officials are at a bit of a loss. Officials roam the towns with air rifles and set traps to cull the population. "After people left, they began coming down from the mountains and now they are not going back," said Shoichiro Sakamoto, who leads a hunting group of 13, according to Reuters. "They found a place that was comfortable. There was plenty of food and no one to come after them." Government officials have dug mass graves, but as The Washington Post pointed out last year, an average male boar weighs around 200 pounds. Hundreds of boars roam these towns, and thousands have already been killed. Where to put millions of pounds of meat? The graves already dug are nearly full. One city came up with a plan to incinerate the carcasses while filtering radioactive material, but The New York Times reports the city simply doesn't have enough people on staff to burn them. Many former residents have already said they don't want to move back to their former homes at the end of the month, when that will become an option for the first time since the tsunami. They are concerned with radiation. Those who do move back may find themselves having to wrest their former homes from new residents unfazed by government attempts to get rid of them.

This House Was 3D-Printed In just 24 Hours As we start to 3D-print everything — including houses, of all things — it's pretty impressive that a company built one in just 24 hours. Located in Russia, this 400-square-foot home (37 square meters) was built in just a day, at a cost of just over $10,000. The main components of the house, including the walls, partitions and building envelope were printed solely with a concrete mixture. Fixtures like windows and furnishings were later added on, and a shiny coat of paint added to the exterior of the house. The house consists of a hallway, bathroom, living room and kitchen and is located in one of Apis Cor's facilities in Russia. The company has claimed that the house can last up to 175 years. The total construction cost of the house? $10,134. "We want to change public views that construction can't be fast, eco-friendly, efficient and reliable at the same time," says founder Nikita Chen-yun-tai on Apis Cor's website. "Our goal is to become the biggest international construction company to solve problems of accommodation around the globe." Apis Cor has claimed to be the first company to have developed a 3D printer than can print whole buildings on-site. https://youtu.be/WDSWLDB7qt0

Google develops invisible web security Captcha form Captcha forms may soon disappear Website security checks that challenge people to prove they are human are likely to "disappear" in favour of a new system developed by Google. Captcha checks typically ask people to complete a puzzle that a computer would struggle to complete correctly. They are designed to stop automated bots accessing and using websites. Google's new system tracks how a person interacts with a website to prove they are real, so the puzzles are no longer necessary for most people. Captcha checks are often deployed by concert ticket websites to stop people setting up automated bots to buy all the best tickets. They also appear when somebody is trying to log in to a website with the wrong password, to spot automated attempts. The puzzles present challenges that people find simple but computers can find more difficult, such as: identifying photographs of dogs in a gallery of animal pictures typing numbers from a photograph of a road sign into a box listening to somebody reading out numbers over music and typing the numbers into a box The puzzles also benefit companies such as Google by helping train artificial intelligence algorithms. For example, if Google's AI can not recognise a house number in a photograph taken by a Streetview car, it may add the photo to its Captcha system to get human input. However, genuine users can find the interruption by puzzles a nuisance. Google's reCaptcha system has already simplified the process by asking users to tick a check box on the website they are using. The box monitors how each person has interacted with it, to separate natural human clicks from bots. For example, an automated script might take just a second to fill in a form on a website, and may not move the mouse at all during the process. Google's latest development removes the check box as well, and instead analyses how people have interacted with other elements on a website such as the "submit form" button. However, in some cases "suspicious" activity will still trigger a puzzle. bbc

Patrick Stewart Meets His New Foster Pit Bull, Falls In Love Immediately Sir Patrick Stewart, a British actor best known for his roles in Star Trek and X-Men, just shared a video of him meeting his new foster pup Ginger – and it’s just pure emotion. The new pup is a pit bull, and it’s the first dog of this particular breed for Stewart and his partner. Celebrities adopting pit bulls are a powerful force against the prevailing prejudice associated with these dogs, as they are often mistakenly considered overly aggressive and not worthy of love. The message of the video is clear – rescue dogs are so sweet, they can melt even the heart of Captain Jean-Luc Picard. So go ahead and adopt, don’t shop. He just met his new foster dog Ginger. This little pit bull is the first dog of this particular breed for Stewart

This Guy’s Trip On A Ferry Went Not How He Expected, And Now His Epic Photos Are Going Viral If you’re prone to seasickness then look out, because these pictures will make even those with iron stomachs feel nauseous. They look like they were taken in the middle of one of the world’s great oceans, but believe it or not they were actually taken aboard the Manly passenger ferry that operates out of Sydney Harbour, Australia. Although the sea there is generally quite calm, recent windy weather whipped up the unexpectedly ferocious waves that you can see below. They were snapped by deckhand and photographer Haig Gilchrist, who uploaded them to his Instagram account along with the comment “great day to be working.” We’re not so sure about that!

Making America Misogynistic Again: Actual Donald Trump Quotes Combined With Ads From The 50’s Saint Hoax has removed the original headlines from these misogynistic advertisements and replaced them with quotes that Donald Trump said about women. The headlines and visuals strongly compliment each other, although there's almost a 30-year gap between them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Awesome - Wedding Photographer Turns Couples Into Miniature People Ekkachai Saelow is a Thai wedding photographer who doesn't just believe in capturing the finer details of his subjects - he actually turns his subjects into the finer details! Ekkachai's photography business literally translates as "Small Person," and he specializes in turning happy couples into miniature inhabitants of over-sized worlds. He does this by cutting his clients out of their original pictures and inserting them into a small scale environment before applying an effect known as tilt-shift photography in order to give them that miniature macro look. And as you can see from these pictures, the end result is as sweet as it is surreal, and as simple as it is stunning.

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