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Swimming pigs found dead in Bahamas after 'tourists give them beer and rum' Seven swimming pigs in the Bahamas have died after reports tourists were feeding the animals rum and beer. According to The Independent, seven of the pigs were found dead and floating in the water near the Exuma Cays last week, leaving around 15 members of the colony alive. Wayde Nixon, one of the pigs' owners who brought them to the uninhabited island years ago, stated that the cause of death was due to the animals being fed the "wrong food." However, local officials state that they're still investigating other possible causes. “We had the government vet in there [who] examined them all thoroughly," Nixon told The Nassau Guardian. "He gave them shots, he gave them medicine, and I was there and I worked with them for three days straight. We had them pigs there almost 30 years, and never has this happened before, but now we are going to have to regulate it." “Right now it’s blowing out of proportion with people, anybody, bringing food there, anybody doing what they [want to] do," he continued. "We have people coming there giving the pigs beer, rum, riding on top of them, all kinds of stuff.” The island's exceptionally friendly swimming pigs have long cohabited peacefully with tourists, who visit the island in hopes of getting to swim alongside them. However, because of this heartbreaking incident, officials now state that new regulations will be put into place that will prevent tourists from being able to feed them. “It’s really a mystery,” president of the Bahamas Humane Society Kim Aranha told a local newspaper. “It could just be a horrible accident where they ate something poisonous. It could be malicious but I don’t really see why someone would go out of their way to hurt those lovely animals.”

I Illustrate My Daily Problems As A Woman In Hilarious And Relatable Comics (Part 2) These comics basically sum up my entire life, being an awkward twenty-something in a society filled with things I'll probably never understand. I'm always happy to hear that I'm not the only awkward human being on this planet. Let's laugh at our daily struggles and be awkward together! More info: https://www.instagram.com/planetprudence/

Meteora is an area in Thessaly (Central Greece) and Kalampaka is the city under the rock towers of Meteora. The thing that makes Meteora so special is the monasteries on the top of the rock towers. The monasteries, the peaks to climb and the paths for hiking brings in Meteora the whole year many tourists..

Son Doong cave(Vietnamese: Hang Son Doong) is world's largest cave, located in Quang Binh province, Vietnam. It is found by a local man named Ho Khanh in 1991 and was recently discovered in 2009 by British cavers, led by Howard Limbert. The name "Son Doong" cave means "mountain river cave", It was created 2-5 million years ago by river water eroding away the limestone underneath the mountain Where the limestone was weak, the ceiling collapsed creating huge skylights..

Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Leaving Celebrity Apprentice, Blames Donald Trump for His Exit Hasta la vista, baby.“ At least, in our minds, that’s what Arnold Schwarzenegger said when he decided to end his tenure as host of The New Celebrity Apprentice after just one season. In an interview with Empire, Schwarzenegger said his decision is “not about the show,” but instead has to do with a certain former host who is now president. When reached for comment by Vanity Fair, Schwarzenegger’s representative offered the following comment from Schwarzenegger by e-mail: “I loved every second of working with NBC and Mark Burnett. Everyone—from the celebrities to the crew to the marketing department—was a straight 10, and I would absolutely work with all of them again on a show that doesn’t have this baggage.” Viewers and sponsors have reportedly abandoned the show throughout its most recent season. The season finale drew 3.45 million viewers and a .9 rating among the key 18 to 49 demo—a serious plummet from 2015’s season finale, which brought in 6.1 million viewers and a 1.7 rating. As far as Schwarzenegger is concerned, that decline is thanks to Donald Trump. “Everyone I ran into came up to me and said, ‘I love the show. . . but I turned it off because as soon as I read Trump’s name, I’m outta there!’ ” he told Empire. Schwarzenegger had nothing but praise for NBC and Apprentice producer Mark Burnett. Still, he said, “Even if asked [to do the show again], I would decline. With Trump being involved in the show, people have a bad taste and don’t want to participate—as a spectator or as a sponsor—or in any other way to support the show. It’s a very divisive period right now, and I think this show got caught up in all that division.” The exiting host appeared to leave out a few more details: that Trump has repeatedly bashed Schwarzenegger and his ratings as host, even though Trump still serves as an executive producer on the program. Four years later, the show re-vamped itself into The Celebrity Apprentice, and this year’s season was rebranded once more as The New Celebrity Apprentice—a nod to its new host. Are we facing a future that includes The New New Celebrity Apprentice, or will this former ratings juggernaut finally be terminated for good. vanityfair

The Most Genius Costumes Ever Sure you can go online and buy yourself a costume, but the real show-stealers are the ones who make their own. And as you can see from this list, some people's ideas are seriously damn clever! Don't forget to vote for your favorite, let us know what you think! A Man Trying To Walk Through A Hurricane For Halloween (No Wind Involved) Toy Soldier Costume A Few Friends Dressed Up As A Roller Coaster Peter Pan And His Shadow Cosplay Disabled Guy Owns Mad Max Cosplay Grayscale For Halloween Angelina’s Newest Adoption YouTube Video of ‘Awesome Drunk Guy’ JetPack Rider Mousetrapped!

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Teen Accidentally Falls Four Stories To His Death In Snapchat Stunt Gone Wrong A 17-year-old boy is dead after a Snapchat stunt went horribly wrong at a Singapore mall last week. Skateboarder Jonathan Chow often filmed little stunts for social media, so when he planned to hop the railing onto the outer ledge of an upper floor walkway at the Orchard Central mall, he and his friend Ruth thought this was no different. Unfortunately, what looked like more of a concrete ledge was in fact decorative plasterboard, unintended to support any weight. When Jonathan landed, the ledge immediately gave way, and the teen fell four stories to his death. Ruth, who was filming the stunt, told local outlet Today Online: "We both thought the ledge was made of concrete, but when he jumped, he fell straight through. I knew it was dangerous, but before I could stop him, he already jumped over." R.I.P. Jonathan

A titanium 'Nokia 3310' is on the way Nokia’s 3310 was the highlight of MWC 2017 as HMD revealed a new version of the feature phone at the biggest phone show in the world – but there’s another 3310 you should know about. Luxury phone brand Gresso has shared a new version of the Nokia 3310 that costs a whopping $3,000 (about £2,450, AU$3,950). You could have got 18 of the original Nokia 3310's in 2000 for the same price. This isn't the Nokia 3310 we saw at MWC this year or the original phone from 2000 though. It's also currently unclear if Gresso has the rights to use the iconic 3310 name and form factor. The Gresso 3310 mimics the design of the original Nokia phone, but instead of a plastic shell comes with grade 5 titanium body. That's super durable as it can handle drops of 32 feet. The Gresso 3310 comes in either black or titanium grey. As for the camera there’s a 3MP shooter, which even beats the rerelease version of the Nokia 3310 we saw launch earlier this week. Battery wise it’s going to last for 75 hours of talk time while there’s also 32GB of storage onboard. There’s also a dual-SIM so you can use two different numbers at the same time. Gresso has yet to share the rest of the spec for the new 3310, but it seems to have a similar size screen to the original phone. This is a limited edition phone so if you have a lot of money to spend and you want to buy it, you'll probably need to hurry considering how popular the Nokia 3310 is proving at the moment. An actual release date for this version is currently unclear. techradar

Abandoned Buildings Around Pittsburgh Savannah Hardman - I captured these photographs over the period of a few months. This has been an ongoing passion for me.

ALCATEL’S NEW PLUS 12 WINDOWS 2-IN-1 TABLET Although the Mobile World Congress (MWC) 2017 is mostly about the most mobile of devices — namely smartphones and wearables — that doesn’t meant that manufacturers of larger mobile devices like PCs are being left out. Whether it’s traditional notebooks or Windows 2-in-1s, PC vendors are taking advantage of the hype to introduce some new machines. Alcatel is a well-known smartphone purveyor that makes a variety of mobile devices, and it announced its new Plus 12 machine at MWC 2017. It’s a new tablet-based 2-in-1 running Windows 10, with a detachable keyboard and a specific benefit: Integrated 4G LTE and a built-in Wi-Fi hot spot. As far as Windows 10 tablets go, the Alcatel Plus 12 is a rather typical, if a bit low-end, machine. It sports a 12-inch Full HD IPS display (1920 x 1080 resolution) with 10-point multitouch. The tablet portion utilizes an Intel Celeron N3350 processor running at 1.1GHz with boost up to 2.4GHz, 4GB of LPDDR3 RAM, and 64GB storage made up of 32GB eMMC and embedded 32GB MicroSD storage. Connectivity is provided by a USB Type-C connection, a micro-HDMI port, and a 3.5mm headset jack. MicroSD card support is also provided for external storage. Wireless connectivity comes by way of 802.11ac Wi-Fi and Bluetooth 4.2 support. A 5MP front camera supports videoconferencing. Where the Plus 12 stands out is in the 4G LTE functionality built into the keyboard base, which can serve as a Wi-Fi hot spot for up to 15 other devices. The keyboard base has its own Cortex A7 processor and 128GB of LPDDR2 RAM to support the hot spot function and adds in a USB 3.0 connection and a SIM for the LTE connectivity. Windows Hello via fingerprint recognition and Windows Ink support is also on hand. Alcatel senior vice president Vittorio Di Mauro pointed out the importance of mobile connected devices like the Plus 12, saying, “We are convinced that productive devices will be more and more connected to cellular networks. With the Plus 12, Alcatel has created the perfect office on the go. ” The Plus 12’s tablet portion is a light 596 grams, and when the keyboard base is attached the entire machine weighs in at 990 grams. Alcatel has yet to provide pricing and availability information for the new Windows 10 detachable tablet device. Specifications Display - 11.6-inch 1920x1080 IPS LCD Processor - Dual-core 1.0Ghz Intel Celeron N3350 "Apollo Lake" RAM - 4GB LPDDR2 Storage - 32GB eMMC SSD microSD - card slot Connectivity : Wi-Fi 802.11n Bluetooth 4.2 LTE + UMTS (with keyboard) Camera - 5MP front facing camera Pen - Included N-Trig pen Battery - 6900mAh (tablet) + 2580mAh (keyboard) Dimensions Tablet - 11.2 x 6.9 x 0.31 inches (284 x 175 x 7.9mm) Dimensions Keyboard - 11.3 x 7.3 x 0.27 inches (287 x 186 x 6.9mm)

HP teases new Elite x3 Windows 10 Mobile handset If you were disappointed to see no new Windows 10 Mobile handsets announced at Mobile World Congress this year, we've got some good news for you. In the back of HP's own booth, without any formal announcement or spotlight, a new Elite x3 sit in a corner with an updated design and (presumably) specs. We know literally nothing about it, apart from the fact that it exists. Spotted by the eagle-eyes over at PCWorld, the new Elite x3 appears to be sporting a slightly altered concept design with a chrome/metal bezel and an antenna band design similar to other phones on the market these days. It also appears to be missing that chrome B&O speaker at the bottom, however that may simply be due to the design being incomplete. HP hasn't formally announced a new Elite x3 yet, and were not willing to discuss the unannounced phone on display. For now, we don't know anything, including specs, size or release date. There were rumors several weeks ago that claimed HP would have a new Windows 10 Mobile device at Mobile World Congress, and it appears those rumors were not wrong. Until HP announces a new Elite x3, however, we'll have to result to speculation for now. It's possible that HP haven't announced a new phone yet because they don't want to derive sales from the current Elite x3. They also might be waiting for the new Snapdragon 835 processor, or for Microsoft offer hardware makers a Windows 10 Mobile in 64-bit. windowscentral

Windows 10 Mobile Creators Update build 15043 is now rolling out to the Slow Ring for Insiders Microsoft is now rolling out a new Windows 10 Mobile build for users on the Slow Ring after a long hiatus with the last Slow Ring being pushed out in November of 2016 – nearly half a year ago. This update brings up Slow Ring users to the latest build – 15043 -and adds all the included features such as the new share icon and support for e-books in Edge among others. For users who have been on the Slow Ring, Microsoft is also removing support for Apps Corner due to decreased usage, improving the emoji support in the keyboard and unifying the Mobile Settings app with the PC Settings version. Known issues for Mobile: Speech packs will be unable to download on this build. Adding a new card / paying with an existing card will not work in Microsoft Wallet. Other changes, improvements, and fixes for Mobile: We fixed the issue causing the Settings app to crash when navigating to Settings > Devices You should be able to pair a Bluetooth device without any issue. The Bluetooth quick action from Action Center should also now work again. This issue could have also resulted in decreased Flashlight quick action reliability. Using Continuum to connect to a display wirelessly should also work as expected. We fixed an issue resulting in screen rotation sometimes unexpectedly not working on the last Insider flight. We fixed an issue where live tiles were not updating some apps such as Outlook Mail and Calendar. We fixed an issue where under Settings > Update & security > Phone update Insiders might see the text “Some Settings are managed by your organization” even though the phone wasn’t being managed by an organization. We fixed an issue from recent flights where you couldn’t paste or drag a folder from the PC to your phone We fixed an issue where tapping the link for a website with an associated app would crash Microsoft Edge and not open the associated app. We fixed an issue where downloads from Microsoft Edge directly to an SD card might unexpectedly use space on the local phone storage as well. We fixed an issue where the keyboard might dismiss after a second when opening a new tab in Microsoft Edge and quickly starting to type. We’ve fixed an issue that could result in your personal typing dictionary being unexpectedly deleted and having to train the keyboard from scratch. We fixed an issue where, during the download of a phone update, after disconnecting then reconnecting to Wi-Fi due to low reception you might get an error saying the download needs a better connection to continue, despite currently being connected to a good Wi-Fi connection. We’ve improved the video playback experience when using Continuum for phone wirelessly over Miracast.

Apple’s iPhone 8 will do the unthinkable There are so many things that come to mind when you think of Apple as a company. It was a pioneer in the personal computing space, the iPod was a total game-changer, it reinvented smartphones in 2007 with the original iPhone, and its laptops and tablets remain market leaders to this day. A number of common threads are woven through all of those achievements, and some are more appreciated than others by Apple fans around the world. One of Apple’s less appreciated characteristics is the company’s “courage.” The company has never been afraid to make design decisions that fly in the face of convention and ruffle feathers in the process. This manifested itself most recently in Apple’s decision to nix the standard 3.5mm headphone jack on the iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus, which caused quite a bit of commotion ahead of the most recent iPhones’ debut last September. Now, however, a new reliable report suggests that Apple will walk back one of its recent courageous decisions with the iPhone 8. The Wall Street Journal issued a report that seemingly confirms one of the most widely reported rumors surrounding Apple’s upcoming iPhone 8. According to the paper, Apple will dump LCD display panels in its new flagship iPhone and instead utilize a flexible OLED display. While the headline of the report states conclusively that the iPhone 8 will feature a “curved display.” Moving beyond the iPhone 8’s display, there was another tidbit in the report that is, quite frankly, shocking if true. After switching from the company’s proprietary 30-pin connector to the newer Lightning connector less than five years ago beginning with the iPhone 5, the Journal says Apple is planning to dump the Lightning port on its new iPhone 8 and adopt the industry standard USB Type-C port instead. The move would obviously make plenty of sense. Apple now uses USB-C ports on its newer laptops for charging and other connectivity, and a USB-C port’s internal components are just as compact as the Lightning port. Apple could use USB-C in phones and tablets without having to worry about the devices being any thicker, and it would then have the same type of connector on its Mac and iOS devices. It just seems so odd considering the company’s history that Apple would actually adopt an industry standard. It’s almost unthinkable. But the WSJ has been a reliable source of Apple leaks in the past, and it would be fantastic to see the company finally adopt an industry standard so that accessories work across Apple devices and across other devices as well.

It looks like the Galaxy S8’s screen will be called Infinity Display The Samsung Galaxy S8 and S8 Plus are two of the most anticipated smartphones of 2017. They will both feature a dual-curved screen with small bezels that, according to the latest leaked images, looks gorgeous. Thanks to a recent trademark application filed with the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO), we now know what the display will be called. The application shows that it will be called “Infinity Display”. Unfortunately, the documentation doesn’t reveal much more than that. The only other info listed is that it will be used on “mobile telephones”. n case you have missed it, we have been hearing a lot of rumors regarding Samsung’s upcoming flagship devices lately. The Galaxy S8 is expected to come with a 5.8-inch screen, while its bigger brother will sport a 6.2-inch display. Both of them will be powered by the Snapdragon 835 chipset and won’t feature a physical Home button on the front. This means that the fingerprint scanner will be moved to the back of the devices, next to the camera. The recently leaked images also show that the Galaxy S8 and S8 Plus will sport an additional button on the side, which will reportedly offer quick access to Samsung’s digital assistant called Bixby. Samsung’s upcoming devices look to be very promising and will probably be a hit among consumers. The tech giant will officially announce them on March 29 in New York City, while sales are expected to begin in mid-April. There’s nothing like the real thing, and BGR has obtained photos of an actual Samsung Galaxy S8.

Google Assistant arrives on lots more phones starting today Have you been a pinch jealous of all the Pixel owners with access to Google Assistant? Fret no more, as Google's digital helper is heading out to loads more phones starting today. Following an announcement earlier this week that Google Assistant was coming to devices running Android Marshmallow and Android Nougat, Google has now made its arrival official. Eligible devices with Android 6.0 through Android 7.0 will see Assistant land in an over-the-air update. All you need to do is press and hold the Home button, Google says, and Assistant will be at your beck and call. As reported earlier, the roll out will first hit US users with English as their default language, followed by English users in Australia, Canada and the UK. German speakers in Germany are also part of this wave. Google will add Assistant support for more languages as the year unfolds. With Assistant, Google is replacing some of the "Now on Tap" features you probably have on your current Android device with a much savvier and easier to use system. Perhaps Google Assistant's most impressive feature is smart home control, letting you utter commands into your phone to turn off a light or set a thermostat.

Emergency Brake An Amish was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her. "I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous." "I thank thee," replied the lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home." "Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals, so you should have your husband check that too." "Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check both when I get home." True to her word, when the lady got home, she told her husband about the broken reflector, and he said he would put a new one on it immediately. "Also," said the Amish woman, "The policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake."

Airline & Airport Terminology Airline and airport jargon questions show up all the time, so clearly people are interested knowing what they are hearing around them in the airport. Here a glossary, focusing on those expressions most easily misunderstood, or not understood at all. In no special order: 1L/1R (2L/2R, 3L/3R, etc): On a flight when you hear flight attendants announce 1L/1R ( other number combinations), they are discussing the aircraft cabin doors. e.g. The boarding door of most aircraft is “1L”, which stands for 1-Left. All Call: “All Call” is flight attendants verifying each of the cabin doors is locked and armed for departures, or that doors are disarmed when arriving at the gate. ATC: Air Traffic Control. Air Traffic Control can be a tower at the airport you are departing from, a tower at the airport you’re headed to, or an air traffic control center in the middle of no-where watching a huge swatch of sky keeping aircraft safely traveling through air. BoB: BoB is ‘Buy-on-Board. BoB is a term introduced to most airlines in the past few years, and it is rarely used directly to passengers directly. BoB can occasionally be heard in the galley in reference to the meals and drinks passengers can purchase in-flight. Captain: The person in the cockpit sitting in the Left Seat with 4-stripes on their shoulder epaulets. The Captain is in charge, in flight they have command of the aircraft and everything on board. Control Tower: The Control Tower is often referred to as simply ‘The Tower.’ The Tower oversees an airport’s aircraft movements. These movements are not only on the ground, but also include inbound aircraft and departing aircraft. Cross Check: This is used by both the captain and first officer and the cabin crew. Cross checking is simply one person on the crew verifying another person on the crew’s actions. When doors are armed/disarmed by one crewmember they are ‘cross checked’ by another crewmember. Equipment: Equipment is a ‘technical’ term for ‘the plane’ (I won’t be defining ‘plane’). When you hear “There has been a change of equipment,” it usually means “your plane isn’t available” or “your original plane is broken.” First Officer: The person in the cockpit sitting in the Right Seat with 3-stripes on their shoulder epaulets. The First Officer, often referred to as the co-pilot (both the captain and first officer are both obviously fully qualified and type rated pilots). The First Officer is the second in command of the aircraft and everything on-board it. Gatehouse: The Gatehouse is the boarding area. I have never seen a gate or house in the Gatehouse, so I have no idea where the term comes from. I usually just refer to the boarding area as ‘The Gate.” Ground Stop: A Ground Stop is a stoppage of all flights at an airport. If you are traveling to an airport that has become so congested with air traffic that it needs to clear out some space before new aircraft can depart for that airport, they can issue a ‘ground stop.’ A ground stop is like your sink filling with water, even when your drain is open. You can watch the water going down the drain while simultaneously filling up. You need to slow the water, or turn it off before you can lower the water level in the sink. Flight Closed: If you are at the gate you see your flight flashing “Closed” you have missed your flight. Once a flight has Closed, the gate door is shut and the gate agent is standing at the end of the Jetway steering it away from the aircraft so it can ‘push back.’ Flight Crew: The Captain, First Officer and your flight attendants (Cabin Crew) are your Flight Crew. Flight Deck: The Flight Deck is a fancy word for ‘The Cockpit’ Final Boarding: If you hear “Final Boarding” while heading to your gate for a flight you’d better start running. Final Boarding comes right before “Closed,” and is not something you want to hear unless you are handing the gate agent your boarding pass. Holding Pattern: “We’re being placed into a Holding Pattern” This is an announcement that everyone hates. A Holding Pattern is when aircraft are sent into loops circling their destination, or just outside their destination, until a landing slot is available for them to land at the airport. Jetway: The Jetway is also referred to as an Aerobridge, Boarding Bridge or Jet Bridge. The Jetway is the ‘tunnel’ you walk down that connects the terminal to the aircraft. Paperwork: Paperwork, as in “we’re just waiting on some paperwork.” This is when the Captain and First Officer are waiting on paperwork they need to close up the aircraft and ‘push back.’ Paperwork is usually out of the hands of the flight crew, so the flight crew is stuck waiting, just like the passengers, for the ground crew to deliver the ‘Paperwork.’ Push: “Push” also known as “Push Back.” An aircraft ‘pushing’ is usually quite literally a ‘tug’ or ‘tractor’ pushing the aircraft back from the terminal. Aircraft can push back by reverse thrusting their engines, but that wastes a lot of fuel, it is extremely loud, kicks up a lot of debris and it is easier to maneuver an aircraft by pushing it backwards with a tug, given that the crew in the cockpit cannot see backwards to steer themselves around other aircraft. Ramp: Originally “The Ramp” was ramp area from the water to where an aircraft took on or off loaded passengers and parked. Since I don’t see many seaplanes landing at major commercial airports these days, we’ll go with the modern definition of ‘ramp’ … the area surrounding the terminals and jetways, excluding the taxiway and runway, where aircraft and airport vehicles operate is the ramp. Wheels Up Time: An aircraft’s “We are should be Wheels Up within a few minutes,” this is time is the time the aircraft is scheduled to be airborne. This term is also used for the actual time the aircraft lifts its wheels off the ground. Did I leave any common terms out? If so, let me know.

Mind your language There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a Frenchman, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you must shout what you want the pool of water to become, and then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "Wine". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "Vodka" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "Beer". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "Shit!!!!!!!......".

Moral Stories The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Little Johnny was left. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down, so the bottle wouldn't break. And then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, She killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands." "Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?" "Don't f*ck with Mommy when she's been drinking!!!"

Just a Wild Guess It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

Three Vampires Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, "I would like some blood." The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I would like some blood." The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I would like some plasma." The waitress looks up and says, "Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?

23 Things Only People Who Were Raised By Strict Parents Understand You were always the first person who had to leave when everyone was hanging out. Asking permission for a sleepover at your friend’s house took 37 hours of mental preparation, a detailed PowerPoint presentation of your friend’s family tree, and a signed contract in your blood saying you would not drink and would be in bed by 10pm. Whenever your friends would make plans for later that night, you knew your parents would say no because it literally took them 2-3 business days to process whether they would allow you to go out. You would practice asking your parents for permission to do something in the mirror and pre-emptively come up with answers to questions you knew they would ask. You also always had to wait until they were in a good mood before asking for anything. You sometimes whipped out the wounded puppy look and would sigh and say “never mind… you’re going to say no anyway” to garner sympathy from your parents before asking for a big favour. You would ask your parents once, and only once, if you could hang out at someone’s house. You never understood why your friends would think that “asking them again” would make any difference. You always had to choose between going out on either Friday or Saturday night because there is no way your parents were going to agree to both. You understand THE PURE, UNADULTERATED PANIC that channels through your veins when your idiot friends change the plans 10 times and you have to keep explaining to your parents what you’re doing. You lied constantly. About everything. You still do. You never cursed until you got to college. You never had “The Talk” with your parents. They probably left a book on your bed about your ~changing body~ and let you figure it out. Family dinner conversations revolved around your academics and class schedule—never about your social or love life. As far as your parents were concerned, you did not have either. To this day, you still cannot get dressed without wondering what your parents would think about what you are wearing. Middle and high school were a 7-year war over whether that skirt was too short or if the words on your Abercrombie shirt were too suggestive. Getting one piercing in your ears was the extent of what you could do to your body. If you even thought about dying your hair an unconventional colour, getting a tattoo, or even getting a second piercing, hell would freeze over. You probably shared the same first name as at least 4-5 other people in your classes growing up. You always changed the channel if your parents walked in on you watching something where the characters might kiss. Your parents always tried to sign up to chaperone school functions and field trips. Manners were everything. You got the “I don’t want people to think you were raised by wolves” speech almost as often as the “is your napkin not on your lap at the dinner table? Do you do this at other people’s houses? I can’t let you out in public if you don’t put your napkin on your lap” lecture. You have spent years dreaming of rebellion in the form of making spontaneous plans or wearing flip-flops to the airport. Your impulse reaction to hearing your friends say they had sleepovers with their significant others is open-mouthed shock. You are careful telling jokes to your parents because their response toes the line between laughing along to immediately going off on a 45 minute rant and probably sending you to your room afterwards. If you miss one phone call, your parents suddenly assume you are smoking “that marijuana” with “that one friend of yours” they KNEW was going to be a bad influence.

Artist Suffering From Anxiety And Depression Illustrates Her Life In Hilarious Comics There is nothing funny about depression or anxiety, but some sufferers find humour to be a good way of dealing with the daily struggles of living with such mood disorders. British artist Gemma Correll is one of those people, and as you can see below, her illustrators are as funny as they are thought provoking. Whether she is highlighting the perils of overthinking, sharing her dread at receiving a phone call, feeling bad for feeling bad, or stressing about not being stressed, the self-proclaimed "infamous anti-socialite and pug lady's" simple style and witty humour makes us laugh, but she also makes us think. Do not forget to indicate for your favourite! More info: Gemmacorrell.com

Do You Wake Up Every Night At The Same Time? There are internal systems and clocks inherent to humans that help govern our bodily functions. Our spiritual wellbeing and physical health are directly connected. Traditional Chinese medicinal methods pay close attention to the patterns of energy placement and movement to different areas of the body at different times. Within your 24-hour cycle, your body devotes different energies to different organs. If you have been waking at the same times consistently, it could mean that the some of your energy is being blocked or misdirected. This disrupts our natural balance and cycle. Your organs need energy to heal and operate. Here is a list of times and the organs they are associated with. Many of these blockages should be viewed physically and emotionally. You should review what and when you have been eating, as these can be reasons for your symptoms. 9 pm To 11 pm This is an average time that most people try to fall asleep. This is the time that our endocrine system rebalances and enzymes are replenished. The endocrine system manages hormones and metabolism. If you have trouble falling asleep at this time, you could be stuck in a flight or fight mode. You are still mentally stuck in the events of the day or already preparing for tomorrow's challenges. Repeat positive mantras and release the formations causing you tension. If you are eating poorly or too late in the day, this can cause blockages as well. 11 pm To 1am If you wake often at this time, it may be due to resentments you carry. This is the time in the 24-hour cycle that yin energy is turned into yang. Yang energy is highly active, and your body is supposed to be storing this energy for the next day. Reinforce self-love and appreciation, doing your best to stay calm and conserve energy. This is physically when the gallbladder is breaking down fats. You maybe are getting too much unhealthy fats or oils. 1am To 3am This is a crucial time for the body's detoxification and renewal process. Your liver is breaking down toxins and releasing toxins, while making fresh blood. Waking during this time is normally indicative of anger, frustration and negative formations. If you are not addressing these spiritual toxins, then your spiritual 'liver' is trying to call attention to these problems. 3am To 5am This is the time that your lungs are under repair and flooding your body with oxygen. Make sure that you are warm enough to help facilitate bodily functions. If you wake during this time then try breath exercises. Problems with the lungs are often related to grief and sadness. 5am To 7am Any toxins released and broken down earlier in the night are being cleared out of the system. The large intestine is active during this time. Eating a poor diet or too late can lead to problems that will wake you at this time. higherperspectives