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uk666

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Posts posted by uk666

  8. Posted · Report reply

    Before I was a Mom/Dad

    Before I was a Dad.
    I made and ate hot meals.
    I had unstained clothing.
    I had quiet conversations on the phone.

    Before I was a Dad.
    I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
    I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

    Before I was a Dad.
    I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
    I never thought about immunisations.

    Before I was a Dad.
    I had never been pooped on, spit up on, chewed on, peed on, or pinched by tiny fingers.

    Before I was a Dad.
    I had complete control of myself; my thoughts, my body, and my mind.
    I slept all night.

    Before I was a Dad.
    I never held down a screaming child so, that doctors could do tests or give shots.
    I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
    I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
    I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

    Before I was a Dad.
    I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
    I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
    I never knew something so small could affect my life so much.
    I never knew that I could love someone so much.
    I never knew I would love being a Dad.

    Before I was a Dad.
    I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
    I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
    I didn't know that bond between a father and his child.
    I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

    Before I was a Dad.
    I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every ten minutes to make sure all was okay.
    I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderfulment, or the satisfaction of being a Dad.

    I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Dad.

    Before I was a Mom.
    I made and ate hot meals.
    I had unstained clothing.
    I had quiet conversations on the phone.

    Before I was a Mom.
    I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
    I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

    Before I was a Mom.
    I cleaned my house each day.
    I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

    Before I was a Mom.
    I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
    I never thought about immunisations.

    Before I was a Mom.
    I had never been pooped on, spit up on, chewed on, peed on, or pinched by tiny fingers.

    Before I was a Mom.
    I had complete control of myself; my thoughts, my body, and my mind.
    I slept all night.

    Before I was a Mom.
    I never held down a screaming child so, that doctors could do tests or give shots.
    I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
    I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
    I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

    Before I was a Mom.
    I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
    I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
    I never knew something so small could affect my life so much.
    I never knew that I could love someone so much.
    I never knew I would love being a Mom.

    Before I was a Mom.
    I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
    I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
    I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
    I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

    Before I was a Mom.
    I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every ten minutes to make sure all was okay.
    I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderfulment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

    I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

  9. Posted · Report reply

    Wet Report Card

    As little Johnny was acting up again, the teacher sternly remarked, “Listen, young man, you had better settle down and start paying attention!”

    “Or else what?” the little brat retorted.

    “Or else you’ll be going home with a soggy report card!” said the teacher.

    “Why would my report card be wet?” asked Johnny.

    The teacher replied:

    “Because all your grades are well below ‘C’- level.”

  10. Posted · Report reply

    feet Up

    A Navy officer was walking through the crew’s quarters of an air craft carrier, when he chanced upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the table.

    “Sailor!” the officer boomed. “Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?”

    “No sir,” replied the sailor:

    “but we don’t land airplanes on the roof either!”

  22. Posted · Report reply

    Three simple acts can stop Covid-19 outbreaks, study finds

    three.jpg

    If People these three simple behaviours could stop most all of the Covid-19 pandemic, even without a vaccine or additional treatments, according to a new study.

    Three simple behaviours:

    1. People washed their hands regularly.
    2. Wore masks.
    3. Kept their social distance from each other.

    The study, published Tuesday in the journal PLoS Medicine, created a new model to look at the spread of the disease and prevention efforts that could help stop it.

    The contact rates in the study were based on people's interaction in the Netherlands, but the model is appropriate for other Western countries, the researchers at the University Medical Center Utrecht said

    "A large epidemic can be prevented if the efficacy of these measures exceeds 50%," they wrote.

    If, however, the public is slow, but does eventually change behaviour, it can reduce the number of cases, but not delay a peak in cases, according to the model.

    If governments shut down early, but no one takes additional personal protective steps, this would delay but not reduce a peak in cases. A three-month intervention would delay the peak by, at most, seven months, the study found.

    If government-imposed physical distancing was combined with disease awareness and personal steps, the height of the peak could be reduced, even after government imposed social distancing orders were lifted.

    "Moreover, the effect of combinations of self-imposed measures is additive," the researchers wrote. "In practical terms, it means that SARS-CoV-2 will not cause a large outbreak in a country where 90% of the population adopts handwashing and social distancing that are 25% efficacious."

    Even with self-imposed social distancing, contacts with others might not be totally eliminated. For instance, people who live together will interact, increasing the likelihood that someone could get sick. So small outbreaks are still likely.

    The authors argue that governments should educate the public about how the virus spreads and raise awareness about the crucial roles of self-distancing, handwashing and also mask use in controlling an ongoing epidemic. It does not differentiate between mandating some of these behaviours or encouraging them.

    There are limits to the model. It doesn't take into effect demographics, nor does it account for the imperfect isolation of people who are sick with Covid-19, meaning they can infect others who care for them in a health care setting or at home. It also doesn't account for the possibility of reinfection.

    American public health leaders have been echoing the sentiment of this study recently. The director of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention told the Buck Institute for Research on Aging last Tuesday the country is "not defenceless."

    "If we all wore face coverings for the next four, six, eight, twelve weeks, across the nation, this virus transmission would stop," Dr. Robert Redfield said.

    Admiral Brett Giroir, a member of the White House coronavirus task force, said at a briefing from the US Health and Human Services Department Thursday that masks and physical distancing could quickly stop the spread of the pandemic.

    "If we have that degree of compliance with these simple measures, our models say that's really as good as shutting it down," Giroir said. "These simple facts can really shut down the outbreak without completely shutting down your local area." CNN

    • Thanks 1

  23. Posted · Report reply

    Teenagers And Cats

    For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats:

    1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
    2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
    3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
    4. Even if you tell the jokes as well as the top comedies, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.
    5. No cat or teenager shares your taste in music.
    6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
    7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
    8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
    9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
    10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behaviour.

    Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best source of advice is not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats on hand at all times.

    And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.

  24. Posted · Report reply

    Good Ole Days

    Billy listened as Grandpa lamented about the good ole days, and how the cost of living was so much lower.

    “When I was about your age, my mother would send me to the store. I would get a pound of hamburger, a quart of milk, 2 oranges, a loaf of bread, and a magazine for only a dollar!”

    Then Grandpa conceded:

    "Sadly, you can’t do that anymore. They got those blasted security cameras everywhere."

  25. Posted · Report reply

    flowers 

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary.

    He opened an account with a florist, provided the florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with a signed note, Your loving husband.

    His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until next year, on their anniversary, when he came home, kissed his wife, and said off-handily:

    "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"

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