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uk666

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Posts posted by uk666

  1. Posted · Report reply

    Asleep In A Grave

    A man missed his bus and decided to walk home.

    He had journeyed several miles when night began to fall.

    Stumbling exhausted into a cemetery, the man laid down on the grass, rolled over, then slid into an open grave.

    The next morning, a blonde arrived at the cemetery and, just as she approached the grave-site, she heard a voice murmur, "I'm soooo cold!"

    Staring down into the grave, she replied:

    "Well no wonder, you poor thing. You kicked off all your dirt."

    • Haha 1

  2. Posted · Report reply

    Art Thief

    An art thief once stole some very expensive paintings from the Louvre in Paris. 

    He took two Van Goghs, a couple Monets, a DeGas, and some other paintings.

    Everything went perfectly, except he was captured sitting in his van with the paintings only 2 blocks from the museum. His van had run out of fuel!

    When asked by the police how he could plan such a successful robbery and then be foiled by such a simple error, he replied:

    'I had no MONET to buy DEGAS to make the VAN GOGH!'

    • Haha 1

  15. Posted · Report reply

    STEP 1: Uninstall the malicious programs from Windows.
    Find the malicious program and uninstall it. Look out for any suspicious program – anything you don’t remember downloading or that doesn’t sound like a genuine program. The “Programs and Features” screen will be displayed with a list of all the programs installed on your PC. Scroll through the list until you find the malicious program, then click to highlight it, then click the “Uninstall” button that appears on the top toolbar.

    STEP 2: Use Malwarebytes Free to remove “You Flash Player might be out of date” adware.
    Malwarebytes Free is one of the most popular and most used anti-malware software for Windows, and for good reasons. It is able to destroy many types of malware that other software tends to miss. 

    Download Malwarebytes Free: 

    https://www.malwarebytes.com/premium/
    1. Click Free Download. You will be redirected to another page, and the download should begin automatically.
    2. Click "Run" if you see a dialogue box at the bottom of your browser window asking if you want to save or run Malwarebytes Anti-Malware. Otherwise, browse to your Downloads folder and double-click the installer, and install.
    3. Click "Scan Now"in the screen that appears when you run Malwarebytes Anti-Malware the first time. Before the scan begins, the application will check for updates to the malware database.
    4. Review the results once Malwarebytes Anti-Malware has finished the scan. If you think an item should not be quarantined, uncheck it. Otherwise, click "Quarantine Selected."
    5. Click on the "Quarantine" tab to view quarantined items.
    6. Click individual items in Quarantine to delete them.
    7. Restart your computer to complete the malware-removal process.

    STEP 3: Reset the browser settings to remove “You Flash Player might be out of date” pop-ups

    How to reset Microsoft Edge

    To fully reset Microsoft Edge, you can do two things: reset your settings and clear your data. If you'd like to keep some data, you can only do one of these.

    First, you'll need to reset your settings.

    1. Open Microsoft Edge on your Mac or PC and click the three dots in the top-right corner.
    2. In the dropdown menu that opens, click "Settings."
    3. In the left sidebar, click the "Reset Settings" tab.
    4. On the page that opens, click "Restore settings to their default values." It should be the only option on the page.
    5. A pop-up will appear, explaining which data will be deleted when you reset. To finish the process, click "Reset."

    you can also clear your history and cache.

    1. Open Microsoft Edge on your Mac and PC.
    2. Once again, click the three dots in the top-right corner and select "Settings."
    3. In "Settings," click on the "Privacy and Services" tab.
    4. On the page that opens, find the "Clear browsing data" section and click "Choose What to Clear."
    5. A pop-up filled with checkboxes will appear. The default boxes checked are "Browsing history," "Download history," "Cookies and saved website data," and "Cached data and files." You can also clear your passwords, autofill form data, and more. To fully reset your browser, check off all these boxes.
    6. Click "Clear Now" to erase all the data you selected.

    Your computer should now be free of the “You Flash Player might be out of date” malicious program.

    STEP 4: If you are still having problems with your computer after completing these instructions, then please:

    Scan your computer for malware for free with the ESET Online Scanner. The online virus scanner checks for any type of virus and helps you remove it. 

    https://www.eset.com/int/home/online-scanner/

    If you do not have an antivirus program on your computer, you may wish to consider purchasing an antivirus program to protect against these types of threats in the future.

    Please let us know, how you get on…

    • Thanks 1

  16. Posted · Report reply

    Rare Copy of Super Mario Bros Sells For A Record

    mb.jpg

    The NES classic set a new standard for vintage game prices at auction last weekend.

    Unopened, rare variant of classic 1985 Nintendo game establishes new mark for highest-selling video game sold at auction $114,000 (£90,000), the most ever paid for a video game.

    Sold by Texas-based Heritage Auctions, the new holder was bought by a gamer upon the legendary game's release in 1985.

    For an unknown reason he never opened the game and kept hold of it.

    The cartridge sparked global interest ahead of auction as it had vintage cardboard packaging used before games were sealed with plastic wrapping.

    What makes this particular version so coveted? Well, it’s graded at a 9.4 out of 10, which means it’s in near-perfect condition, with everything sealed in the original packaging. It’s also a particular version of the US retail edition, which went through quite a few iterations over time. 

    Here’s Heritage with a neat explanation of the so-called cardboard hangtab that makes this unit so rare:

    What’s the deal with cardboard hangtabs? one may, understandably, wonder. Cardboard hangtabs were originally used on the US test market copies of black box games, back before plastic was used to seal each game. 

    As Nintendo began to further establish their company in the US, their packaging was updated almost continuously. Strangely, the addition of the plastic wrap came before the box cutting die was altered to remove the cardboard hangtab. 

    This rendered the functionality of the cardboard hangtab completely useless, since it was under the plastic seal.

    There are four sub-variants of the plastic sealed cardboard hangtab box (this particular copy of Super Mario Bros. being the “3 Code” variant) that were produced within the span of one year. 

    Each sub-variant of the cardboard hangtab black box, produced within that timeframe, had a production period of just a few months; a drop in the bucket compared to the title’s overall production run.

    In short, a cardboard hangtab copy of any early Nintendo Entertainment System game brings a certain air of “vintage” unrivalled by its successors.

    Heritage also outlines the broader picture in terms of the game’s value and nostalgia factor: it is the highest-selling game on the original NES console of all time, in addition to being the first entry in the Super Mario Bros. series and marking the first appearance of series villain Bowser.

    This game was on Pawn Stars years back. The seller went in with the founder of the grading company and he wanted…. ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Far cry from what he actually got!

    Rarest and most expensive video games. Here are their estimated values...

    1. "Gamma Attack" (Atari 2600): $20,000-$50,000
    2. "Birthday Mania" (Atari 2600): $15,000-$35,000
    3. "1990 Nintendo World Championships: Gold Edition" (NES): $15,000-$21,000
    4. "Air Raid" (Atari 2600): $14,000-$33,400
    5. "1991 Nintendo Campus Challenge" (NES): $14,000-$20,100
    6. "Red Sea Crossing" (Atari 2600): $10,400-$14,000
    7. "Kizuna Encounter" (Euro): ~ $5,400-$13,500
    8. "Atlantis II" (Atari 2600): $5,000-$18,000
    9. "Ultimate 11/Super Sidekicks 4" (Neo Geo): $4,800-$10,000
    10. "King of Fighters 2000" (Neo Geo): $3,540-$6,000
    11. "Tetris" (Sega Genesis/Megadrive): $3,000-$16,000
    12. "Gauntlet" (Atari 2600): $3,000-$5,000
    13. "Karate" (Atari 2600, Ultravision release): $2,500-$4,000
    14. "Eli’s Ladder" (Atari 2600): $1,500-$1,700
    15. "Elemental Gearbolt" Assassin’s Case (PS1): $1,400-$1,750

  17. Posted · Report reply

    German Motoring Terms Vocabulary 

    g06.jpg

    Glossary of English / German Motoring Terms

    1. INDICATORS Die - Blinkenleiten Tickentocken
    2. BONNET - Pullnob und Knucklechoppen
    3. EXHAUST - Spitzenpoppenhangentuben
    4. SPEEDOMETER - Der Egobooster und Linenshooter
    5. CLUTCH - Die Kuplink mit achlippen und schaken
    6. PUNCTURE - Die Phlatt mit Bludyf*cken
    7. LEARNER - Twitten mit Elplate
    8. ESTATE CAR - Der Bagzeroomfurschaggingaute
    9. PARKING METER - Der tennarpinscher und Zlockenarr
    10. WINDSCREEN WIPER - Der flippenflappenmuckenshpredder
    11. POWER BRAKES - Deer edbangeronvinschreen stoppenquick
    12. GEAR LEVER - Biggensticken fur Kangaroochoppen
    13. FUEL GAUGE - Der Walletemptyung
    14. Meter BREATHALIZER - Die Puffitinter fur Pistenarsen
    15. REAR VIEW MIRROR - Der Yonkunter ist Tooklosan
    16. SEAT BELT - Der klunkenklickken frauleinstrapper
    17. HEADLIGHTS - Das Dippendontdazzelubasted
    18. EXHAUST FUMES - Dar koffundschplitterpoluter
    19. HIGHWAY CODE - Der Wipen fur Arsen
    20. FOG WARNING - Die Puttenklogdownan und Fukkitt
    21. TRAFFIC JAM - Die Bluddif*kkin Dammundblast
    22. REAR SEAT - Dar Schpringentester
    23. TYRES - Flatfahrts
    24. BACK FIRE - Der Lowdenbanermekkenjumpen
    25. JUGGERNAUT - Der F*kkengratt Trukken
    26. ACCIDENT - Das Bleedinkmess
    27. NEAR ACCIDENT - Der Phewn Near Schittenselfen
    28. GARAGE - Der Haiway Robberung
    29. CYCLIST - Der Peddallpushink Pilloken
    30. SKID - Der Bannen Waltzen
    31. DOUBLE WHITE LINES - Overtaken und Krunchen

  18. Posted · Report reply

    Blondes Stereotype

    A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. 

    He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-­haired beauty jumps to her feet. 

    “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair colour have to do with my worth as a human being?”

    Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer an apology.

    “You keep out of this!” she yells.

    “I’m talking to that little *** jerk on your knee!”

  19. Posted · Report reply

    Sex Sports Lives

    Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands’ sexual prowess.

    The first said,:

    “I think my husband’s like a championship golfer. He’s spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke.”

    The second woman said:

    “My husband’s like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me a couple hundred exciting laps.”

    The third woman was silent until she was asked:

    “Tell us about your husband.”

    She thought for a moment and said:

    “My husband’s like an Olympic gold medal winner in the 400 metres.”

    “How so?” one of the others asked quizzically.

    “He’s got his time down to around 43 seconds.”

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