Why Are Men Just Happier People

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Why Are Men Just Happier People

 

Why men are never depressed

• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can never be pregnant.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
• You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• The world is your urinal…
• You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky..
• You do not have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• Same work, more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• Wedding dress: $5000. Tuxedo rental: $100.
• People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
• New shoes do not cut, blister, or mangle your feet...
• One mood all the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat...
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase...
• You can open all your own jars.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You almost never have strap problems in public.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• Everything on your face stays its original colour.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
• You only have to shave your face and neck.
• You can play with toys all your life.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes — one colour for all seasons.
• You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

 

Nicknames

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

 

Eating Out

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it is only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.

 

Money

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she does not need but it is on sale.

 

Bathrooms

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

 

Arguments

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

Future

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 

Marriage

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he does not.

A man marries a woman expecting that she will not change, but she does.

 

Offspring

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

 

Thought for the Day

A married man should forget his mistakes. There is no use in two people remembering the same thing!

 

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Well this about sums it up