The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages

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The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages

 

1. My wife and I cannot come to the phone right now, but if you will leave your name and number, we will get back to you as soon as we are finished.

 

2. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and do not need their picture taken. If you are still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

 

3.This is not an answering machine – this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling…. and I will think about returning your call.

 

4. Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I will stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

 

5. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you did not lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, do not worry, I have LOTS of money.

 

6. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we are not here. So, leave a message.

 

7. Hello! If you leave a message, I will call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I will call sooner.

 

8. Hi. Now YOU say something.

 

9. Hi. I am probably home; I am just avoiding someone I do not like. Leave me a message, and if I do not call back, it is you.

 

And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages.

 

10. Hello, you have reached Jim and Sonya. We cannot pick up the phone right now, because we are doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right… very slowly. So leave a message, and when we are done, brushing our teeth, we will call you back.