70 Ways to Say Someone is Stupid

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70 Ways to Say Someone is Stupid

1. A brick shy of a full load.
2. A few beers short of a six pack.
3. A few clowns short of a circus.
4. A few feathers short of a whole duck.
5. A few fries short of a happy meal.
6. A few peas short of a casserole.
7. All foam, no beer.
8. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
9. As bright as a 1/2 watt bulb.
10. As bright as a bag of hammers.
11. As sharp as a butter knife.
12. As smart as bait.
13. As swift as a sailboat on a calm day.
14. As swift as roadkill rabbit.
15. As thick as 2 short planks
16. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
17. Can be kept busy all day with a sheet of paper saying "please turn over" on both sides.
18. Could not pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
19. Daft as a brush.
20. Dead from the neck up.
21. Delusions of adequacy.
22. Dense enough to have his own event horizon.
23. Does not have all his dogs on one leash.
24. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
25. Does not have all of their dogs barking.
26. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair
27. Elevator does not go all the way to the top floor.
28. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
29. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is not coming. 
30. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
31. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
32. Her sewing machine is out of thread.
33. His antenna does not pick up all the channels.
34. His belt does not go through all the loops.
35. His head has enough free airspace to land a jumbo jet.
36. I would suggest a battle of wits but I refuse to fight an unarmed opponent.
37. If brains were gasoline, you would be hard-pressed to ride a moped around a Cheerio.
38. If he had another brain, it would be lonely
39. If you were twice as smart, you would still be stupid.
40. In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than most.
41. Intelligently impaired.
42. No grain in the silo
43. Not batting on a full wicket.
44. Not running on all thrusters.
45. Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
46. Not the brightest crayon in the box.
47. One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
48. One taco short of a combination plate.
49. One slice of bread short of a sandwich.
50. Pillock.
51. Plonker.
52. Prat.
53. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
54. Receiver is off the hook.
55. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
56. Several nuts short of a full pouch.
57. Shit for brains
58. Skylight leaks a little.
59. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
60. The cheese slid off his cracker.
61. The wheel is spinning, but the hamster's dead.
62. The lights are on, and no ones home
63. Thinks Megahertz is a unit of pain.
64. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
65. Tried to get the twist out of a Mobius strip.
66. Useless loser.
67. Useless moron.
68. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
69. Wired up right, but not plugged in
70. You have a tendency to make a high rate of poor decisions over time.