112 Ways to Say Someone is Stupid

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112 Ways to Say Someone is Stupid

1. A brick shy of a full load.
2. A few beers short of a six pack.
3. A few clowns short of a circus.
4. A few feathers short of a whole duck.
5. A few fries short of a happy meal.
6. A few peas short of a casserole.
7. A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
8. All foam, no beer.
9. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
10. An intellect rivalled only by garden tools
11. As bright as a 1/2 watt bulb.
12. As bright as a bag of hammers.
13. As sharp as a butter knife.
14. As smart as bait.
15. As swift as a sailboat on a calm day.
16. As swift as roadkill, rabbit.
17. As thick as 2 short planks
18. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
19. Brainless
20. Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case they are nothing.
21. Can be kept busy all day with a sheet of paper saying "please turn over" on both sides.
22. Cognitively impaired
23. Could not pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
24. Daft as a brush.
25. Dead from the neck up.
26. Delusions of adequacy.
27. Dense enough to have his own event horizon.
28. Developmentally delayed
29. Does not have all his dogs on one leash.
30. Does not have all of their dogs barking.
31. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
32. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair
33. Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.
34. Elevator does not go all the way to the top floor.
35. Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I have wanted to cut it down.
36. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
37. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is not coming. 
38. Half-wit.
39. Has an IQ of two, but it takes 3 to grunt.
40. He always finds himself lost in thought - it is an unfamiliar territory.
41. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
42. He has one oar out of the water.
43. He seems to always do things an educated person just would not do.
44. Her sewing machine is out of thread.
45. His antenna does not pick up all the channels.
46. His belt does not go through all the loops.
47. His head has enough free airspace to land a jumbo jet.
48. I am blonde. What is your excuse?
49. I am guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling.
50. I can feel my personality turning a dull shade of grey when I talk to you.
51. I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
52. I don’t think you are a fool. But then what’s MY opinion against thousands of others.
53. I don’t think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking.
54. I see that you have set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
55. I would agree with you but then we'd both be wrong
56. I would suggest a battle of wits but I refuse to fight an unarmed opponent.
57. I’m glad to see you’re not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
58. I’m not being condescending, I’m too busy thinking about things you wouldn’t understand.
59. If brains were gasoline, you would be hard-pressed to ride a moped around a Cheerio.
60. If bullshit could float…you’d be the Admiral of the fleet!
61. If he had another brain, it would be lonely
62. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.
63. If opposites attract, then I hope you meet someone who is intelligent, and cultured.
64. If you were twice as smart, you would still be stupid.
65. If you were twice as smart, you would still be stupid.
66. In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than most.
67. Intelligently impaired.
68. Is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?
69. It’s scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.
70. No grain in the silo
71. Not batting on a full wicket.
72. Not running on all thrusters.
73. Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
74. Not the brightest crayon in the box.
75. One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
76. One taco short of a combination plate.
77. Plonker.
78. Prat.
79. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
80. Receiver is off the hook.
81. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
82. Several nuts short of a full pouch.
83. She is so sweet, bless her.
84. Shit for brains
85. Shock me, say something intelligent.
86. Skylight leaks a little.
87. So, a thought crossed your mind. Must have been a long and lonely journey.
88. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
89. Struggling under cognitive deficiencies.
90. Stupid is as stupid does.
91. Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
92. The cheese slid off his cracker.
93. The engine is running but there is no one behind the wheel.
94. The lights are on, and no one’s home
95. The wheel is spinning, but the hamster's dead.
96. Thinks Megahertz is a unit of pain.
97. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
98. Tried to get the twist out of a Mobius strip.
99. Useless loser.
100. Useless moron.
101. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
102. What a tool.
103. Wired up right, but not plugged in
104. Wonders how the helpful woman got inside his sat-nav.
105. You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.
106. You do realize makeup isn’t going to fix your stupidity?
107. You have a tendency to make a high rate of poor decisions over time.
108. You started at the bottom… and it’s been downhill ever since.
109. You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball.
110. You’re IQ’s lower than your shoe size.
111. You’re like school in the summertime – no class.
112. Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.

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