Some Hilarious Facebook Status Messages

[CyberGod 1,234]

Some Hilarious Facebook Status Messages...

Share & have fun...

 

1) Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them

 

2) I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness

 

3) A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

 

4) If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

 

5) Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

 

6) Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.

 

7) It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.

 

8) If at first you don't succeed, destroy any evidence that you ever tried.

 

9) If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

 

10) If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten

 

11) I have a busy day ahead... I have trouble to start; rumors to spread and people to argue with.

 

12) I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up

 

13) I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, "Parking Fine"

 

14) Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.

 

15) Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"

 

16) I just read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them...

 

17) If your relationship status says, "It's complicated" maybe you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"

 

18) Dear Facebook, Please stop asking me what's on my mind. I'm gonna get myself in trouble if I keep spilling my guts to you.