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-Jim-

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-Jim- last won the day on December 23 2016

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About -Jim-

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  • Birthday March 16

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    West Coast of Canada

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  1. OH HECK YEAH ! ... Let's Offend Everybody! Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem? A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A. To a different bar. Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby? A. SUM TING WONG. Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A. A speech impediment. Q. Why do Drivers Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Q. What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo? A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe. Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year- old lady to say the 'F' word? A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!' Q. What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale? A. A northern fairytale begins, ....'Once upon a time...' A southern fairytale begins,... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t…' Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States . *** Oh, be quiet....just pass it on !!!!!
  2. What part of your body goes to heaven first? The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, - 'When you die and go to Heaven... which part of your body goes first? Suzy raised her hand and said, - 'I think it's your hands.' 'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?' Suzy replied, - 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first. 'What a wonderful answer!' the nun said. Little Johnny raised his hand and said - 'Sister, I think it's your feet. The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. 'Now Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?' Little Johnny said, - 'Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, 'Oh God,Oh God, I'm coming.' I gotta tell you, if Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her’. The Nun fainted... !!
  3. Hi Gents, My Misses and her friends are again poking me about getting a decent (?) setup going for Karaoke. Her best Friend is having her Birthday party soon, and we will celebrate with a special Dinner. Then after a few bottles of wine, they want to do Karaoke. My intent is to use a Laptop system and a portable Hard Drive for the Tunes. I’ll figure out the hardware, but the wireless Mics could be a few $$ if they are decent. (I'm checking eBay.) Of course I don't really have a clue where to grab Karaoke Files. I understand the correct format these days is CD+G or MP3+G with the latter often Zipped together. The days of doing it on CDs has passed... So the question is, do you know where to find these files? If it's a newsgroup, I can probably convince a Buddy to grab anything there if it's simple. Or I can start to cobble it together via Rapidgator if needed. Do you have any connections? I’d even pay a reasonable amount for a big (1 TB?) collection or access to a decent FTP Site. There used to be a guy on Craigslist that sold them locally, but he’s not listing anymore. Any assistance would be welcomed. Thanks.
  4. Gents, I found this elsewhere. Thanks.
  5. If there was a contest this week, I'd win with this one. I think all sports fans will get a kick out of this letter written to the Chicago Tribune.... Enjoy ! No matter which side you are on in the matter of renaming the Washington Redskins, this is funny. This guy is hilarious… Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins. Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward. Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns. The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us white folk. The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men's lives. I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres. Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates! Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children. The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children. The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children. The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children. So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves. As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than "the Beavers (especially when they play Southern California. Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers??? I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As for the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the “Foreskins” to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Congress.
  6. -Jim-

    RECTUM STRETCHER

    I should win week two for this one!
  7. Thanks for awarding me the Joke of the week! I hope to post an even better one this week!
  8. Here is a Senior Citizen trying to set a password WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow! WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use Fabulous
  9. Here is a Senior Citizen trying to set a password WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow! WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use Fabulous
  10. RECTUM STRETCHER (if you don't laugh at this one, there is something wrong.) While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide." "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole ? " he asked. " You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Traffic Ticket - $95.00 Court Costs - $45.00 Look on the Cop's Face? PRICELESS !!!
  11. -Jim-

    A new Forum Member

    Thanks for the hospitality Shammy
  12. Thanks for the tips. Especially using Airplane Mode so the alarm keeps functioning. I often used the alarm but hated waking to all the beeps, buzzes, etc., when I'm away on business. Now I won't have to. My work iPhone is a 4S & I had to replace the battery last Thursday (over $120 CAD ) as it would only last a few hours. The company I work for is moving to the 6 in May so my boss suggested we both do this so we can get into the 6 when it's rolled out corporately.
  13. -Jim-

    A new Forum Member

    Thanks! I especially find the Music section with the FLAC tunes cool.
  14. -Jim-

    A new Forum Member

    Thanks for the welcome !
  15. -Jim-

    A new Forum Member

    Hi Folks, Just a new member here. I thought I'd stop in and check things out. Background - I've been building Windows PCs for a couple decades as a hobby, and now restrict it to just close Friends and Family. I only do 5 or 6 new / rebuilds a year. It all started for me when I found out you could record CDs. I've been into music for ages. My first Burner was 2X with no Buffer Under Run=> so I made as many coasters as usable disks. Then there was Napster (I was an early adopter), and then later building Gamer Boxes for my sons, and on and on... Anyway, one of the tunes I downloaded lead me here. So far things are cool. Thanks for having me.
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