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Dang it = You found me = No it wasn't me as I'm frozen on Pluto

Naked Man Three ladies are chipping up to the fourth hole at Grand Pines Golf Club, when a naked man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green. The three ladies stand in awe at the size of his manhood. The first lady says, 'He is definitely not my husband.’ The second lady, gazes at his manhood and says, 'He is not mine either.’ After a very considered inspection, the third lady finally says: 'He's not even a member of this golf club’.

Really A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...(She is speaking in a smiling voice) "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover ask, "Who was that?" "Oh" she replies: "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."