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A, S, D... Puzzle What comes next in this series: A, S, D, F, G, H, J, K, L, ? Answer Did you solve the puzzle? It was easy, yes? Tell us in the section below!

A good way to die A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it to me straight, doc. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the night. The man then said "Call for my lawyer." When his lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When the man remained silent for several minutes, the lawyer asked what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either side, and I thought I'd check out the same way."

Quotes From The Field Of Computer Science. Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. Rick Osborne Documentation is like sex; when it's good, it's very, very good, and when it's bad, it's better than nothing. Dick Brandon I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone. Bjarne Stroustrup If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution. Robert Sewell Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. Mitch Ratcliffe XML is like violence – if it doesn’t solve your problems, you are not using enough of it. Unknown Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork. Sam Ewing Linux is only free if your time has no value. Jamie Zawinski Saying that Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders. Unknown In software, we rarely have meaningful requirements. Even if we do, the only measure of success that matters is whether our solution solves the customer’s shifting idea of what their problem is. Jeff Atwood QA Engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv. Bill Sempf I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Douglas Adams There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses. Bjarne Stroustrup No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience, the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved. Mark Gibbs Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Rich Cook Some people, when confronted with a problem, think, “I know, I’ll use regular expressions.” Now they have two problems. Jamie Zawinski The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the computer hardware industry. Henry Petroski There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence. Jeremy S. Anderson Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen. Edward V Berard In C++ it’s harder to shoot yourself in the foot, but when you do, you blow off your whole leg. Bjarne Stroustrup If debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it. Brian Kernighan Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves. Alan Kay Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time. The remaining ten percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time. N.J. Rubenking If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. E. W. Dijkstra On two occasions I have been asked, ‘Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?’ I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. Charles Babbage In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they’re not. Yogi Berra There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. C. A. R. Hoare

Technology for Country Folk –Hilarious--