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Believe you can and you’re halfway there. - Theodore Roosevelt

Happily Ever After Shlomo and Ruth were celebrating their wedding anniversary. Their long lasting and happy marriage was the talk of the Edgware community. So, it was no surprise when a Jewish Chronicle reporter came to see Shlomo to ask him the secret of their successful marriage. "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained Shlomo. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon on mules. We hadn't gone very far when Ruth’s mule stumbled. She looked at the mule and quietly said 'That's once.' "We had only proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more Ruth looked him in the eyes and quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone more than a half-mile more when the mule stumbled a third time. This time, Ruth promptly removed a revolver from her rucksack and shot the mule dead. "I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when Ruth looked at me and quietly said, 'That's once.....'."

Old Men Two old men are sitting on their favourite park bench. They meet in the park to talk and gossip almost every other day. One says, "So, how's your wife?" The other man replies, "I think she's dead." "You THINK she's dead?" "Well, the sex is about the same but the dishes are piling up."

Why Motorcycles are Better Than Women Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles. Motorcycles' curves never sag. Motorcycles last longer. Motorcycles don't get pregnant. Motorcycles don't have parents. Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong. You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month. You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up. You can share your Motorcycle with your friends. You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is _really_ worn. If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler. If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it. Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden. Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have. Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines. New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them. When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time. If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it. If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it. If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks. If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it. You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle. You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents. You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle. You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle. You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals. If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again. You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore. Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it. Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride. Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider. Motorcycles don't care if you are late. Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles. You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle. It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle. If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts. You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.

well i think its a fantastic idea..

I just found it inspirational Rædwulf... Lol...

is this a personal quote neo?? lol..

If you want political change in the world you need to crowdfund assassins on the dark web to systematically murder the CEOs of the FTSE 100 until they all agree to stop evading tax.

hahaha.. too funny..

hahaha.. thats frickin hilarious.. omfg.. lmfao..