Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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Men are like.....Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

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Men are like.....Coffee……The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep  you up all night long.

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Men are like.....Government bonds……They take so long to mature.

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Did you hear the one about the jump rope and the lollipop…...Skip it. It sucks.

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Why do witches hysterically laugh whenever they fly with their brooms.......They don't wear underwear.......So the brooms tickle them.

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   Men are like.....Vacations.......They never seem to be long enough.

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  Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating.......To stop the snoring before it starts.
 

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  Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners......So men can understand them.

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  How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb......ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

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Where do fish keep money........In a river bank
 

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what did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall.........Damn
 

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what do you catch when you go ice fishing..........A cold
 

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When a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage.........It is love

When a man holds a woman’s hand after marriage........It is self-defences

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Where do you find tall teachers.........In a high school!

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Why did the tomato lose the race……Because he needed to ketchup

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Can you name a bear with no socks……..A bare-foot!

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Can a leopard hide anywhere…….No, he is always spotted!

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What type of waves are there in very small beaches……Microwaves!

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How are men like parking spaces........All the good ones are taken, and the ones leftover are disabled.

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What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart........Through his chest with a sharp knife.

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What’s the best way to find a truly committed man........Visit the closest mental hospital.
 

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What do a balloon and a man have in common.........One prick pretty much ruins them.
 

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What’s the difference between a knife and an argumentative man.........A knife has a point.
 

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PMS jokes are funny........Period.
 

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Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women.......When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.