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Best Of Friends A rather reticent young girl was asked how she got on with her new boyfriend. "Let's just say my legs are my best friends," she replied mysteriously. "Oh, come on," said her mate. "What does that mean?" "It means he came on too strong so I walked home." A few weeks later the two friends were talking and the girl's mate asked her how her new date went on the previous night. "Pretty much as before," she replied. "My legs are my best friends." Time went by and on the third time they met up, the girl looked radiantly happy. "You're looking well," commented her mate. "Something's doing you good." "Oh yes," replied the girl. "I've met this wonderful bloke and let's just say even the best of friends must part."

Close The Case A young couple bought a parrot, but quickly discovered that he could cause them a lot of embarrassment. Every time someone came to the house, he would tell them what the couple had been up to, particularly what went on in the evenings on the sofa. "That's it, I've had enough," said the man, "from now on, you'll be covered up early in the evening so you can't see what's going on. Otherwise, it's the zoo for you." A few days later, the couple decided to go away for a week's holiday so they spent the evening packing and of course filled the suitcase to overflowing. "I've got an idea," said the man. "I'll get on top, press down as much as I can and you can tell me what's happening." But the case wouldn't close. "This is no good," remarked the wife. "Here, let me have a go, I'll get on top and we'll see if it's any better." Still they couldn't get the case to close, so the man said, "Let's both get on top, bounce up and down and maybe that'll work." Suddenly the parrot pulled off the cage cover and squawked: "I'll take my chances at the zoo, but this I've just got to see?"

2 Jewish Men in Mexico Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day. Sid asks Abe,"Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico?" Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter." When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?" The waiter says, "I don't know senor, I ask the cooks." He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says, "No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews." Abe isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?" The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "Gringos" replies, "I check once again, senor," and goes back into the kitchen. While the waiter is away, Sid says, "I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere." The waiter returns and says, "Senor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews." "Are you certain?" Abe asks again. "I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!" Ready for this....... "Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter. "All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Apple Jews, but no Mexican Jews."

Was that injury sustained in Baltimore..???